AN INTRODUCTION TO
		STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION
by Michael "The Admiral" Zecca

Here's an intro to the wonderful world of Star Trek: The Crouton
Generation.  It all started back in January, when Eric Moore (CU physics
class of '90, former Junk Mailer and former Second Officer of the starship
_Croutonprize_) began a series of questions and wanna-be-type actions about
-=- The Crouton Man -=- (a name that Chris Platt 
chose as his own quite a long time ago from an obscure song of the same name).

I was in a mood at the time anyway to do a _Star Trek_ analog to Junk Mail --
basically just listing some of the people we already knew on Junk Mail in
weird jobs on a starship that seemed to humorously fit them.  When Eric
began this weirdness, I threatened "If this keeps up much longer, I'm going
to begin a _Star Trek: The Crouton Generation_!"  A few days later, along
came my Writer's Guide to _ST:TCG_, which placed Chris Platt as Captain
Christopher L. Crouton of the Starship _Croutonprize_, with various other
people from Junk Mail all over the ship.  I was, of course, listed as the
Star Fleet Commander (with the rank of Admiral) since I started the whole
thing.

And then it happened.

Zen posted the first few episodes of ST:TCG in response to my posting.
They were short -- in the format of the 30-second ads we get at the end
of ST:TNG episodes for next week's episode ("Next time, on an all-new
episode of Staaaar Trek: The Crouton Generation...") -- and carried on
the Salad motif, with the introduction of the Bacos (sort of a cross
between Tribbles (ST:TOS "The Trouble with Tribbles") and Nanites (ST:TNG
"Evolution").  Zen posted several more episodes, I began to do so, and
Eric started to do so.  Suddenly it took off...

We began to introduce our professors as various strange beings.  P.D. Kunz
became The Kunz, an omnipotent being from the Kunz Continuum, who would
occasionally show up to make life miserable by giving "easy exams."  Then,
along came the Riddler (Brian Ridley - the Junior Lab prof), Prof. Love
(also from Junior Lab), Degrandiose, etc.  Since a good portion of Junk
Mail was (and still somewhat is) physics and computer science majors,
most of the jokes revolved around that.

ST:TCG began to parallel our daily lives.  It was a way of getting out
tension or describing a bad day.  It was a way of constructively making
fun of our professors.

By the end of Season One (which began as a joke in early January and ended
with the end of spring semester around May 15th), there were 334 episodes
of ST:TCG.  Zen, Eric, and I were the most frequent posters, owning together
well over 200 of the episodes, but nearly everyone on Junk Mail had posted
at least one at one time or another.

For the summer, I decided to take a different bent.  Prompted by Zen's
introduction of dialogue into a few of his last episodes of Season One,
in order to flesh out a single important scene or so, I developed an
interest of writing real plots for our characters and to really take them
where no one had been before -- to the Small Magellanic Cloud.  I had
had the idea for sending Star Trek to nearby galaxies from ideas planted
in Vonda N. McIntyre's novelization of "The Wrath of Khan."  By the
early 25th Century, which I had now officially established as the time
frame for ST:TCG, it seemed time to try stepping out.

I developed a fast enough drive for the ships to use to get to other
galaxies in the Local Group in a reasonable amount of time (a week or so
at top speed to the Magellanic Clouds).  I transferred myself temporarily
onto the _Croutonprize_ to coordinate things in the other galaxy (so more
episodes involving could make sense) and reintroduced the approximately
110 year old Jean-Luc Picard as the new Star Fleet Commander.  (In the
24th Century of ST:TNG, 110 is comparable to our current 80 year olds.
50-60 years later, medicine has advanced us a little further, so that
Picard at 110 looks like a healthy 70 year old from the 20th Century.)

_Star Trek: The Summer Generation_ took on a slightly more serious tone,
though the jokes remained, as Zen and I delved into serious plots and
introduced a cold-hearted race of non-humanoids known as the Kelvins.
They became a formidable enemy for a while, until the crew discovered
their weaknesses:  heat and cats.  Jez the Wonder Kitty was introduced
late in Season One of ST:TCG as a joke (though he is a real cat owned
by Lt. Cdr. Ghiasi in real life), but quickly, as a result of the Kelvins'
fear of cats mostly, climbed the ladder in the crew.  And then I got
another idea...

The Lucky Charms.  I wanted to introduce a new alien race that was REALLY
alien.  At first, I didn't know if they'd really be a threat or not or
if they'd even care enough about humans to notice them.  So I slipped
in the first reference to them in an episode where Himle notices a ship
phase in, then back out of existence.  That's weird enough -- they can
travel in much more than 3 dimensions.  But as a joke I had the ship
designed as a large purple horseshoe (after seeking a Lucky Charms cereal
commercial on TV while I was writing it) and gave Himle a great line about
Lucky Charms.  The name stuck -- "Lucky Charms" is really more a Star
Fleet designation for them more than anything else.  Finally, I decided
to make them carnivores beyond belief and planned on a multi-part invasion
to start off Season 2 of ST:TCG.

The Lucky Charm Invasion took 10 episodes to carry itself out.  It began
with the slow penetration into the Federation, the destruction of Starbase
Harvard, the promotion of Commander Kabeta and the commissioning of her
new ship.  Then the Lucky Charms went after everyone -- the Borg, the
Klingons, the Romulans (and beat the hell out of the Romulans).  The invasion
was supposed to carry out several functions:
	1)  The penultimate ST:TCG episodes, to really have some fun.
	2)  To parody the expectations for "The Best of Both Worlds Part II"
	3)  To cause a lot of changes in the structure of ST:TCG for the
	  new season -- the introduction of new ships, the reorganization
	  of people's positions (moving Harvard and Dickinson people to
	  starships from Starbases, etc.), to reintroduce some of the humor
	  of Season One while at the same time retaining some of the serious
	  plots and dialogue of the Summer Generation

And so here we are now, embarking on Season 2 of ST:TCG.  If you want
back issues or a list of old episode titles you can choose from, please
request them from me.  I will be posting out current Writer's Guide,
Episode Guide, and Technical Guide info soon as well.  I keep those up
to date here and post current versions as needed.

I highly suggest both parts of "The Best of Both Croutons" and all 10 parts
of the Lucky Charm Invasion.

BTW, these things take up LOADS of disk space.

Good luck.