Date: Thu, 05 Mar 92 16:43:55 EDT
From: Knight of the Wolves 
Subject: Charcater Profile: Dave Quixote

Crossfire:
 
I realize this isn't the standard format, but I generated this a long
time ago, before I realized there *was* a format.  I don't know if you
want to add this to your archive or not, but here 'tis anyway.
 
 
 
Star Fleet Personnel and Service Records
FOR AUTHORIZED USE ONLY
 
Name: Quixote, David
Rank: Lieutenant, junior grade
Position: Crouton Tube Maintenance (Engineering)
Current Assignment: USS Subaru
 
Physical Description:
 
Height:  1.78 m               Weight:  75 kg      Age: 24
Hair: Dark blond              Eyes: Brown         Skin: Caucasian
Species: Human
Other notable characteristics:
      Dave Quixote possesses a thin beard and moustache and at times
      has a somewhat unkempt appearance.
 
 
Marital Status: Single
Citizenship: Lieutenant Quixote is a citizen of the United Federation of
             Planets and of Earth.
Criminal Record: No criminal record in the Federation.
Birthplace: La Mancha, Spain, Earth
Language Ability: Spanish, English
 
Outstanding / Distinguishing features:  Twin scars on his forehead.
     Several long scars across his face, caused by a wolf claw.
Oustanding abilities: None.
 
SERVICE RECORD -- PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATIONS TO FOLLOW
 
Cadet Quixote shows a remarkable understanding of sub-lepton mechanics
which belies his age.  I have never seen so gifted a cadet with such
a pronounced focus on a specific area of physics.  While he would make
an excellent chief engineer with a broader basis, I do not feel that he
is in any way squandering himself by devoting his field of study to
such a narrow branch of the sciences.  With his drive and determination,
he may in fact be the man Federation scientists have been waiting for--
the man who will find the key to understanding those frigging croutons.
 
Already, in just his freshman year, he has had several insights which
took me several years to attain.  This man is worth watching for--he
will someday make Federation news.
 
Commodore Reginald Barclay, Star Fleet Academy Instructor
Stardate 99810.6
 
 
It is my opinion that Cadet Quixote is wasting his time seeking a career
as an engineer in Star Fleet.  He would do a far better job for the
service as a diplomat or ambassador.  His knowledge of literature is
fantastic.  Mallory, Chaucer, Lawhead, Vesubian, Kastronogu--he knows
the greatest authors and works of scores of different worlds.  His
recent term paper comparing notions of chivalry in Klingon and Gorn
literature is stunning in its clarity and understanding of the subject.
 
A man with this knowledge and understanding of other cultures and
people should be an ambassador or counselor, not an engineer.
 
Captain Christopher Marlowe, Star Fleet Academy Instructor
Stardate 99935.0
 
 
Note special discommendation for Cadet David Quixote as of this
stardate.  The blemish he has brought to Star Fleet Academy through
his recent actions is inexcusable.  Although civilian charges have
been dropped due to his unfortunate derangement, Star Fleet cannot
afford to overlook his recent actions.
 
Cadet Quixote, at the beginning of spring break, broke into the Academy
stables, stealing a cart-horse which had been set aside to acquaint
cadets with locomotion devices which they might encounter on other
planets should they be assigned to starships.
 
During his four days away from Star Fleet Academy, Cadet Quixote
attacked two farmers' herds of sheep (medics were fortunately able to
restore the teeth the sheep inadvertantly knocked out in their self-
defense), destroyed a traveling puppeteer's puppets, and freed seventeen
civil offenders, ten of whom are still at large.
 
A Star Fleet psychological profile is to be attached to the end of this
report.
 
Vice-Admiral NFN NMI Data, Admiral of Star Fleet Academy
Stardate 101428.6
 
 
Special commendation for Ensign David Quixote for exceptional bravery
and level-headedness during the capture of the USS Cervantes by Shi'kurt
mercenaries on stardate 101976.  His coolness in the face of danger
saved many lives, including my own.
 
[Ensign Quixote was awarded the Purple Cluster for Bravery after the
ransom of the surviving crew of the Cervantes from the Shi'kurt.]
 
Also note special commendation for Ensign Quixote for unwavering courage
in the face of captivity.  It is no exaggeration to say that his
unbreakable spirit is what gave many of us the strength to continue in
the face of captivity and enslavement by the Shihkurt.
 
Captain Don Miguel Saavadera, Captain of the Cervantes
Stardate 102654.7
 
 
Commendation for Ensign Dave Quixote for either incredible stupidty or
bravery--I'm not sure which--in confronting the creature identified as
Buckwheat.  I don't know whose sick joke it was to assign him to my
starship, but maybe it's backfiring.  I'm actually beginning to like
the loonie.
 
Captain half japanese, Captain of the Subaru
"The Episode They Said Couldn't Be Written"
 
 
Effective this stardate: Ensign David Quixote is hereby promoted to
the rank of lieutenant, junior grade in recognition of his contributions
to the crew and mission of the USS Subaru.
 
Also note that despite my grave reservations about the matter, I have
taken Commander James Palmer's advice and made Lieutenant Quixote into
our new Chief of Security.  Side note: fifty push-ups for Commander
Palmer should this turn out to be as boneheaded as I think it is.
 
Captain half japanese, Captain of the Subaru
"Silence of the Croutons"
 
 
Yes!  Palmer has to do fifty push-ups!  Lieutenant Quixote is once
again assigned to engineering as our Crouton Tube Maintenance Man,
Third Class.  Lieutenant (j.g.) Sancho Panza, cross-reference, is our
new Chief of Security.
 
Captain half japanese, Captain of the Subaru
"Silence of the Croutons"
 
 
Minor discommendation for Lieutenant Quixote for a slight infraction
of the Prime Directive which resulted in the stoning of the lieutenant,
his dog, myself, and Lieutenant Commander Missy Midzor.  Personal note:
make certain that there are no windmills in sight on any planets where
we take him to the surface, and NO BLANKETS IN MY SIGHT FOR AS LONG AS I
LIVE.
 
Commander James Palmer, First Officer of the Subaru
"Hombre de La Mancha"
 
 
PSYCHIATRIC EVALUATION
 
This man is in perfect mental health.  Although I find his commitment to
this unseen god of his somewhat disconcerting, he is certainly not the
first person in the history of Star Fleet to cherish antiquated notions
such as religion.
 
I see no reason why this man cannot serve on board a starship, although
I definitely do not recommend him for ambassadorial or command duty.  If
he ever feels his religion compels him to do something which violates
the Prime Directive, I fear his religion may win out.  I recommend a
career in engineering or security, particularly the former since he
appears to have some knowledge in that field.
 
Doctor Herbert Eugene Hile, Star Fleet Academy Psychologist
Stardate 99780.0
 
 
Despite the unfortunate incident which appears to have driven the
subject completely lunatic in a highly restricted area, we are unable
to determine that his madness poses a threat to those around him.
 
The source of madness apparently has its origins in his narrow views of
his god and of humanity's "fallen" condition.  In his religion, man is
negatively stereotyped as evil, vulgar, crude, and debased.  This
appears to have given rise within him a classic case of self-condem-
nation for his own shortcomings, which he projects onto the world around
him.
 
Unfortunately, his great passion for chivarly books--tales of knights
and wizards--has coupled with his religious fervor and resulted in a
delusion of grandeur.  During our sessions with the subject, he
proclaimed several times and in no uncertain terms that he had been
called by his god to bring the world back from an age of iron into an
age of gold.  This megalomania must one day be confronted with stark
reality, and when it does, the blow to his psyche will be telling.
 
This regrettable combination has also birthed strange flights of fancy
in which he takes ordinary things for something extraordinary and
fitting to his delusions.  For instance, when he was brought to us, he
insisted that he had been captured by the minions of a wizard he called
"Freston," rather than by Star Fleet security, and that he was brought
back to the Academy by enchantments of some sort rather than a Star
Fleet brig shuttle.
 
Despite these problems, his genius remains and he is capable of
functioning with normal members of society as long as they can accustom
themselves to his anachronistic speech and his dressing in armor.
There is no reason to bar him from Star Fleet if this remains his only
problem.  His temperment may even by ideal for interacting with a crew
of multiple geospheres, such as Yoyoboqians.
 
Note: We have recommended that to avoid further complication of the
subject's condition, Vice-Admiral Data and the subject's roommate,
Cadet Sancho Panza, destroy any of the subject's books which relate to
knight-errantry or other similarly regrettable topics.
 
Doctor Fersnot Ronstef, Star Fleet Psychologist
Doctor Serfton Nerfsto, Star Fleet Psychologist
Doctor Erstfon Ostfern, Star Fleet Psychologist
 
Reporting stardate 101440.6
 
 
Although I do not specialize in psychology, it is obvious to me that
Ensign Quixote is not mentally fit for duty in Star Fleet.  Any Star
Fleet officer, especially in engineering, must make dozens of crucial
decisions a day which can save or destroy the starship.  This is not
the proper locale for a man who functions under this misapprehension
that he is a knight-errant and that his terrier somehow serves him in
the capacity of a squire.
 
It has been stated--and quite correctly--by my colleauges at Star
Fleet Academy in Salamanca that Ensign Quixote is capable of functioning
in normal society (above).  Commander Midzor's chief complaints stem
from the ensign's annoying habits rather than his job performance in
maintaining and working with the crouton torpedoes.  That he is somehow
able to translate sub-lepton mechanics into terms he understands and
work at above-standard levels is phenomenal, but irrelevant.
 
Ensign Quixote has shown a tendency to understand his world in pre-
industrial, let alone post-nuclear, terms.  Although this makes him
somewhat endearing to those to whom he refers as "Queen," "lord," or
"lady," the consequences must be considered should he decide that the
dilithium crystal chamber is a giant and attacks it with his sword.
His sword is excellently crafted and he has shown himself to be adept
at using it.  If he should assault the dilithium crystal chamber, the
ensuing flood of anti-matter would easily destroy the Subaru.
 
Additionally, one must consider the effects his peculiar madness could
have upon the myriad races which we may encounter in our exploration
missions.  He feels that giants are an evil race, with the exception
of one he calls Morgante.  There are several member species of the
Federation from low-gravity planetoids who consequently display heights
well above seven and even eight feet.  Should the Subaru ever be called
upon to deliver an ambassador of one of these species, I shudder to
think what could result if the ambassador's name is not Morgante.
 
His unusual references for his surroundings must also be considered.
To Ensign Quixote's mind, the Subaru--a James_T_Kirk class starship--
is a castle.  Captain half japanese he refers to as his Queen.  Other
members of the crew, with the exception of Commander Palmer, he refers
to as "lords" and "ladies."  Commander Palmer, for some reason I am
unable to fathom, he refers to as a servant or lackey.  Everything
about Ensign Quixote is instantly transformed in his mind into something
one would expect to find in a book about Sir Galahad, or some other
knight.
 
As endearing as this practice of the ensign's is to many, including the
Captain of the Subaru, I cannot in good conscience remain silent.  I
feel that for the good of the Subaru, Star Fleet, and Ensign Quixote
himself, that he should be removed from Star Fleet and receive the
best psychiatric attention available.
 
Doctor Jen-L, Chief Medical Officer of the Subaru
"The Episode They Said Couldn't Be Written"
 
 
After due consideration, Doctor Jen-L's recommendation has been turned
down.  Further consultation with the psychogists who examined Ensign
Quixote during his years at the Star Fleet Academy in Salamanca and
reviewing of Ensign Quixote's thus-far commendable record, we have
decided merely to keep him under surveillance.
 
Admiral Robert "Mad Bob" Avenger, Head of Exploration
Admiral Mark Bradford, Assistant to Admiral Avenger
 
 
Quite frankly, I don't know what all the commotion is about.  At the
request of Captain half japanese, I had several meetings with
Lieutenant (j.g.) Quixote, and I have found him to be a remarkably
sane man, perhaps the sanest man I have ever met.
 
Every person I have met has a few eccentricities.  Lieutenant Quixote's
sole eccentricty is to think himself a knight-errant and act
accordingly.  In light of his recent rescue of Captain Kabeta of the
USS Heisenberg from Terimite rebels and his assistance in enabling me
to deal with my personal problems (reference my own service record for
more details), I think that is a rather minor if visible eccentricity
and of no great consequence.  Counselor Jiapa of the Heisenberg and
my own husband, a trained Smarag, were unable to assist me in these
problems, yet Lieutenant Quixote easily managed to establish a rapport
with me and spoke with great wisdom and insight into my problems.
 
Lieutenant Quixote is without a doubt the sanest individual I have ever
met and I in no way consider him unfit for duty for mental health
reasons.  His claim to knighthood is authentic, and well-supported by
his actions.  As has been stated by psychologists previously, his
being a knight has not interfered with his job performance on the Subaru
as Crouton Tube Maintenance Man.
 
It is my recommendation to close his psychiatric file as he is wholly
sane and a "cure" is not needed as there is no "disease."
 
Eliana, Counselor of the Melbourne
"Just a Bit of Light"
 
 
Lieutenant (j.g.) Dave Quixote             "Too much sanity is madness."
Crouton Tube Maintenance Man, 3rd class             dl20@lafayacs.bitnet