From hassell Wed Jun 26 02:34:53 1991
From: hassell (Christopher Hassell)
Subject: hmmm... howzaboutabio for Zort?
To: zecca (Michael Zecca)
Date: Wed, 26 Jun 91 2:34:48 MDT
X-Mailer: ELM [version 2.3 PL11]
Status: R

Zortylwankoid.

Zortylwankoid stands about 5'9' but might continue to stare through you anyhow
if you are tall enough.  He has john-lennon circularish glasses and a long and
somewhat gaunt face with a square chin usually covered by some sort of facial
hair.  His beard changes from week to week (people say he uses Cyberspace to
redo it).   He usually longish hair but long only down the neck, and it
changes pattern and shade from week to week, depending on artistic expression
and general bizarreness (usually back to a light brown for formal occasions).

His demeanor can be strangely different from time to time.  He is quite rarely 
able to lose his temper, and only so in some Principle of Logic which he cannot
seem to have honored.  His reactions can allow him to be nearly invisible at 
times, with few recalling if he was in fact in the room, and yet also be quite 
in a coversation and full of strange and silly humor.  He is friendly to 
anyone and will easly speak to anyone about anything, but never hints that 
any opinion could ever surprise or shock him at all.  His normal expression is
deadpan with wide open eyes.

If he does become interested he will usually accelerate to approximately 84 
times the normal speed of comprehension and interaction of an average 
Federation being, leaving many in the wake, though he understands socially to 
do most of this thinking in private or with a select few.

He comes from a planet known as Yoyoboq, an obscure and technically oriented 
and acutely silly terran colony.  He is of so-called Wankoidian heritage, 
though this is named differently elsewhere.   Wankoidian is a term for a 
syndrome of dimensional occillation in neuronal pathways, allowing for 
thinking to be done outside of normal time.  In essence, they appear to think 
at blinding speed as well as communicate***.  "Wankoidism" is considered a 
disease in some parts of the Galaxy and a boon in others, though few 
understand it.  His personal history is only partially known, though he is 
said to be in a symbolic exile of disgrace from the government on Yoyoboq (a
name merged from Yoyodyne Corp. and the Z.Z. Yowznaqop, don't ask why).

He was asked to join the Federation upon noting of his Wankoidism, and through
his numerous though obscure advances in Communication/Computer Theory he can
now communicate fluently with all computers in the known Universe, excepting of
course the Ship's Computer Zen, who finds him "banal" to and whom he finds 
"Dain Bramagedified!!", though they can work together.

He keeps much deep expression to himself but is rumored to be accomplished at 
art, poetry, singing, and obsessive tinkering.  His superior officer, Pat 
Juola, has authorized him to continue experimentation and research using the 
Assimilated Computational Kontinuum (or ACK).  Few know exactly what he does 
there excepting that it is difficult for him to describe, as he sometimes 
tries, and that it has made him both wierdly happy and possibly more stable at
times (though some question the validity of anything with said result).



***Wankdoidian is a reference to a variety of forms of high-speed and
widely-varying communication found among Wankdoids of various sort.  (Wankoid 
is merely a lineage suffix to many names from a specific line of 
Wankoidian-tending families).  In quick description, it is the cumulative 
ability to convey the complete context of a phrase along with the actual basic 
meaning.  It can be imagined as using a full transporter beam to send what 
others might see as merely baseball score data :-> (a vocal mindmeld, it has
been called).

Only Captain Crouton and a select few are actually able to understand the 
variations that Zortyl uses.  Those who use it thoroughly find it difficult to 
say merely "the point" without sending enough context to convince themselves 
that all is mentioned.  (note voluminous gobbledegook above).

-- 
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