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STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION
EPISODES #92 - 121
Date: Sun, 18 Mar 90 17:30:26 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "We'll Always Have Bemis"
Next time, on an all-blue episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"We'll Always Have Bemis"
Admiral T'Lilith returns to Planet Bemis to continue her genetic research,
leaving Admiral Avenger lonely and depressed with exams to grade. The
red ink begins to flow freely from Avenger's pen as he quickly becomes
more and more bored with what he is doing. Who will be able to lift
Admiral Avenger's spirits as the freshmen fight to survive?
--------------
Date: Sun, 18 Mar 90 22:14:08 mst
From: gaz (Junk Mail)
So, Next time on Star Trek: The Crouton Generation:
"Where did the history go?"
The Gaz attemps to catch up on the history of the Croutonprise, especially
before he bacame a part of the crew, and discovers that the Star Fleet computer
will not let him in. Will Admiral Avenger fix the computer before The Gaz gets
bored again? Will the Crew of the Croutonprise meet Will and Al? Has anyone
tried to read the history of the Croutonprise? Will these questions
never end?
Does this question, "Does this question, '...... Ever end?
The Gaz, who can not spell and is not Warren Peace.
RLG
--------------
Date: Sun, 18 Mar 90 23:47:36 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "Spring Training"
Next time, on [5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Spring Training"
The Croutonprize carries the rival sides of the Baseball Strike to Admiral
Avenger's office at Star Fleet Headquarters, where Admiral Avenger quickly
launches into a tirade about how stupid both sides are acting. Still
disagreeing, Avenger decides it is time for Lt. Stern(k)'s security teams
to have a little target practice. Suddenly, the Baseball Strike is ended
and a contract is negotiated, and free season tickets are given to all
Star Fleet personnel for all games. Can the crew of the Croutonprize
stop this terror, or will Admiral Avenger finally have his way and force
everyone to follow baseball as the Croutons fight to survive?
THE BASEBALL STRIKE IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!
THE BASEBALL STRIKE IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
THE BASEBALL STRIKE IS OVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Bo knows Spring Training!
--------------
Date: Sun, 18 Mar 90 23:57:15 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "Diamonds Are Forever"
Next time, on [5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Diamonds Are Forever"
Lt. Gretzky organizes an intracrew softball tournament on the Holodecks
at the request of Admiral Avenger, when the evil Jon Giltner sneaks
aboard the Croutonprize to sabotage Zen. Now, will Highlander have to
learn how to throw a 90 mph fastball and will Missy be able to hit .300
as the Croutons fight to survive in the perpetual softball game from Hell?
--------------
Date: Mon, 19 Mar 90 09:32:15 MST
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (ERIC MOORE)
Subject: Neeexxxttt on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"Some Assembly Required"
Disaster strikes when the e-mail and editing programs go down on Zen. Total
confusion results as all computer users on the Croutonprize fruitlessly at-
tempt to communicate to one another. Will Captain Crouton and Zortyl Wankoid
be able to write the necessary VT100 emulator program in assembly language so
everybody can edit, change parity, and use the keypad without crashing Zen?
Will they figure out DCL in time? Or will they drive themselves crazy trying
to understand why Zen regurgitates whatever code they feed him?
--------------
Date: Mon, 19 Mar 90 16:14:16 EST
From: shectman%husc8@harvard.harvard.edu (Zenador)
Subject: NEXT! on ST:TCG
"The Revenge of the Queue"
Lt. Nich (Zenador) Shectman, in an effort to improve on transmission
times between starbases, monkeys around with Warp Physics just a little too
much and opens up a wormhole in the Mail section of Starbase Harvard. This
hole is noticed by the evil Mail daemon, who, with help from the Queue, traps
all messages running through the starbase, and consumes all available CPU
time. Will Lt. Shectman and the UA Staff be able to lower the load averages
before the dilithium crystals melt? Can anyone get the Mail daemon under
control and deliver the 600 messages waiting in the Queue? Will the Harvard
Starbasers ever be able to tell the rest of the world about their fight to
survive?
-/phi (Zenador)
----------------
Date: Tue, 20 Mar 90 09:11:12 MST
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (ERIC MOORE)
Subject: Neeexxxttt on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"I, Spuds"
An intruder takes the crew by surprise by hijacking the Croutonprize and
taking them to alpha-Anheuser. There, they are greeted by their archenemy,
Spuds Mackenzie, who has escaped confinement at the Beta IV clinic for re-
covering ditzaholics. Now, he is surrounded by thousands of voluptuous, ro-
botic bimbos who do nothing but party and serve him beer all day long. Will
the crew be able to escape this terror? Will they WANT to escape this terror?
Will Lt. Ghiasi choose to have a robotic body custom-made for her? Or will
they be able to short-circuit the robots' electronic brains by giving them
upper-division level physics problems to ponder? As the crew fights not to
imbibe.
--------------
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 90 00:20:18 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "Death Threats"
Next time, on an all-new, R-rated (for violence) episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Death Threats"
Continued and persisting communiques from Counselor Neon disrupt Admiral
Avenger's work and begin to play with his temper. Meanwhile, Captain
Crouton is attempting to carry on an important discussion with the Admiral
when Avenger begins to disappear for short periods of time. It is at
this same time that Counselor Neon begins receiving death threats and
strange messages. Can Counselor Neon take these threats seriously?
Can Captain Crouton continue a conversation at once? Will Admiral Avenger
go crazy? Or will the crew live in fear of a sudden appearance by the
dreaded Nick Thompson as the Counselor fights to survive?
----------
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 90 00:20:58 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG
Next time, on an all-hue episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Infinite Healing"
Admiral Avenger returns from a conference on Vulcan with a strange
look in his eye. At his first chance, he warps off to Planet Bemis
to mind meld with Admiral T'Lilith, in order to remove the overworking,
underconfident, overachieving part of her personality and replace it
with something less self-destructive. However, he is intercepted on
the way by the Croutonprize, so Avenger decides to try out his new
trick on Captain Crouton first. Can Dr. Flieder save Avenger's brain
from the backfire that unleashes the Crouton Man's personality back
on Avenger's haphazardly repaired brain? Will Counselor Neon's continued
attempts to talk to Avenger lead to even more death threats? Or will
Lt. Frechette have to step in with a case full of old videos to recover
what remains as Avenger fights to survive?
-------------
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 90 00:28:42 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG
Next time, on [5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Grouping in the Dark"
Chief Engineer Midzor's persistent problems with the ship's lighting
force Soraya and Zenador to carry on a conversation about group theory
without benefit of lighting to refer to books on the subject. Meanwhile,
the new and improved, friendlier Carl is pressuring Soraya to get some
work done, which she can't because she can't refer to everything she
needs to with the lights out. Carl, being an omnipotent being, can't
understand WHAT light should have to do with it. Can Soraya make Carl
understand while Missy tries to fix the lights as Mordred fights to
catch a few extra winks while nobody's watching?
--------------
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 90 09:31:08 mst
From: ghiasi (GHIASI SORAYA)
Subject: ST:TCG
Next on The Crouton Generation:
"The Benevolent Carl??????"
Is the new, improved, friendlier Carl really friendlier? Or is it
just a ploy to get Soraya to finally get something accomplished? Did he grant
her a summer research position so that he could guilt her into getting
something done? Does Admiral Avenger face the same threat from APAS? Does
Melissa face the same threat from Los Alamos? Is it all a vicious plot to
destroy the Croutonprize? Who will save the day? Or will life as we know
end and be replaced by slavery to science?
--------------
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 90 10:02:42 MST
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (ERIC MOORE)
Subject: Neeexxxttt on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"Braindeath"
Captain Croutons becomes incapacitated when his Mark I artificial analog brain
fails. Zortyl Wankoid must attempt to keep the captain on life support by
using Zen's digital relays while the Croutonprize races to Starbase Hopkins
for an emergency operation to give him a new digital replacement. Time is on
their side until the Kunz makes a surprise visit with an atomic transition
rate problem. Will they succeed, or will this be the captain's farewell?
----------------
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 90 14:46:10 EST
From: litaq257@unix.cc.emory.edu (Sam Gallia)
Subject: st:tcg
Next time on an all-new episode of "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"===
"Gimme a little credit, will ya?"
Boy wonder Errol Flynn, disguised as mild mannered Emory student
Sam Gallia, attempts to take a transport vessel to Starbase Harvard. At the
spaceport, however, he is stopped in his tracks by an agent of the Hidden
Valley Ranch Empire, posing as a ticketing agent, who refuses to accept his
fare without a major credit card. Although he would normally whip out sword
and make short work of the infidel, in order to maintain decorum, he goes
along with the nasty's plan of holding his check to call the bank to see if
there are funds enough to cover the fare. But alas, the HVR bloodsuckers have
infiltrated the bank as well, and report that there are insufficient funds in
Errol's account. Will the boy wonder cause heads to roll as a result? Will the
meanies attempt to cash the check anyway? Tune in next week, as the crew
fights to survive.
Errol Flynn, Head of the Star Fleet Anthropology Team
--------------
Date: Wed, 21 Mar 90 21:20:57 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "The Measure of a Set"
Next time, on [5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"The Measure of a Set"
A mathematical conference is held aboard the Croutonprize and as a
result, most of the Crouton Generation's members are able to meet and
discuss mathematical and philosophical grounds. Zenador and Soraya
are able to cover some more group theory -- this time with the lights
on since Melissa was able to keep them working for once. However, will
a virus in Zen's system lead to a round of uninterrupted hacking and
coughing that interrupts all attempts at discussion or will Zortyl
Wankoid and Dr. Flieder be able to combine on a miracle cure for Zen
as the Croutons fight to hear the lectures?
--------------
Received: by husc8.HARVARD.EDU; Thu, 22 Mar 90 10:45:14 EST
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 90 10:45:14 EST
From: bryant%husc8@harvard.harvard.edu (Katherine 'Kabeta' Bryant)
Subject: episode...
Next on STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION..............
"Shore Leave"
The crew of Starbase Harvard (and much of the crew of the Croutonprize) are
given a week's shore leave. Kabeta arrives in Starbase Boulder, having
finally escaped her timeless void. Will she and the crew of the Crouton-
prize be able to survive the shock of meeting each other?
HRH Kabeta, etc.
--------------
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 90 10:42:49 MST
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (ERIC MOORE)
Subject: Neeexxxttt on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"Obsession II"
The crew of the Croutonprize discovers a wayward ship crippled by a Ferengi
attack and beams aboard the two remaining survivors, a man and a woman. The
man turns out to be an introverted, sullen, manic depressive who masochistic-
ally pursues the love of the woman, who scorns his advances. Will the crew be
able to deal with these emotionally, maladjusted twits while transporting them
to the Calvin Klein Mental Institute before becoming hopelessly depressed
themselves?
--------------
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 90 22:07:45 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "The Shoes"
Next time, on all-shoe episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"The Shoes"
During a visit to a distant galaxy, the Kunz temporarily loses his
powers and is forced by the locals to count all of the shoes the previous
ruler left behind. Can the Kunz find a statistical time-saving method
or will he have to send a distress signal to his "old friend" the
Crouton Man as the shoes fight to divide (and conquer)?
--------------
Date: Thu, 22 Mar 90 22:14:13 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "Captain's Holiday"
Next time, on all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Captain's Holiday"
Tired of Captain Crouton's moping around the ship, Second Officer
Moore books him on an all-expenses paid trip to Wrigley's Pleasure
Planet over Spring Break. Will Acting Lt. Chuang remain safely
concealed aboard the captain's shuttlecraft? Will Highlander be
able to command during "normal" hours when he's so used to taking
charge during the night shift? And will Chris be able to sneak back
aboard the Croutonprize without Eric's knowing it as Soraya fights
to survive (in the Carl's lab)?
----------------
>From zecca Sun Apr 1 19:51:25 1990
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 90 19:51:24 mdt
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
To: zecca
Subject: Epi #19
Status: R
Date: Fri, 23 Mar 90 09:51:54 MST
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (ERIC MOORE)
Subject: Neeexxxttt on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"Eviction"
All looks grim for the crew of the Croutonprize when Donald Trump XXIV, gal-
actic financial extraordinaire, buys the Croutonprize. All commisioned of-
ficers are fired and the remaining crew is kept on to serve aboard Trump's
newly converted galactic luxury cruiser. Captain Croutons must pull together
what remains of his crew aboard the USS Saladgreens in a desperate effort to
hunt down their former ship and get Trump to marry Ivana of Troius, the
most notorious money-grubbing, husband-seeking female in the galaxy. Will
they succeed, or will this be an abrupt end our heros' four-year mission?
--------------
Date: Mon, 26 Mar 90 00:35:07 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "Yesterday's Riker"
Next time, on all-too episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Yesterday's Riker"
It is discovered that the Trump eviction problem is an alternate timeline
created by the sudden time-travel appearance of the Enterprise-D. In order
to regain the Croutonprize, Captains Picard and Crouton send Commanders
Riker and Highlander to sing "Volare" to Ivana to woo her to Trump's
heart, while Chuang and Wesley figure out a way to make a big profit
off of Trump's misfortune. Will Zen be able to hold off the Enterprise-D's
computer's advances? Will a blind man and Missy be able to make the
lights work? And will Kevin bring the chairs in time as the Croutons
fight to survive?
--------------
Date: Mon, 26 Mar 90 00:35:44 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "The Lights of Festar"
Next time, on all-true (well, almost) episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"The Lights of Festar"
While some of our crew attends Star Fest 90, strange things begin to
happen to the electrical equipment in the building. Commodore Bradford
fights to get the Star Trek episode back in focus, while Missy fights
to restore the Mercury lamps as Jonathan Frakes waits patiently for
his next round of Volare.....
--------------
Date: Tue, 27 Mar 90 18:55:20 mst
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "Gretzky's Brain"
Next time, on an all-goo episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Gretzky's Brain"
While Lt. Gretzky plays in a Star Fleet Invitational at Starbase Harvard,
the base is suddenly bathed in a green light which knocks everyone
unconscious. When they come to, Commander Kabeta finds herself
mysteriously on board the Croutonprize, along with Lt. Gretzky's body.
Zenador sounds a distress signal back on the Starbase to alert the
Croutonprize to a mysterious spaceship just leaving Harvard's scanning
range. Will Dr. Flieder be able to construct an electronic brain to
serve Gretzky until they can get the real brain back? Will Captain
Crouton be able to track down the mysterious brainnappers? And will
Missy be able to keep the lights on as Gretzky's brain fights to survive?
--------------
Date: Fri, 30 Mar 90 14:18:17 mst
From: avenger@starfleet.command
Next time, on Star Trek: The Crouton Generation:
"Top Quark"
To ease the pressure on Captain Crouton, the Croutonprize is given
temporary duty as a garbage scow. On the way to a major garbage pickup
at Wendy's Planet, they run into a garbage scow named "Quark", adrift
since it's show went off the air about 13 years ago. Will the Croutons
be able to discover the mystery of this ancient garbage collector?
Will Missy be able to keep the lights on? And what _does_ Terry
"The Silver Fox" Erdmann have to do with this anyway? As the Croutons
fight to survive....
--------------
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 90 13:27:37 mdt
From: farah (Highlander)
"The death of Europa"
based on a true story....
One of Commander Highlanders ferrets becomes deathly ill just before he takes
off for spring break. The ferret was taken to the emerrgency animal clinic
and it was taken care of there. It was then taken to Highlanders usual vet
that doctor then referred him to take Europa up to CSU (basically because the
doctor had no fucking clue what was going on with the ferret). Europa was then
taken up to CSU animal hospital where it was taken care of. Early friday
morning the Europa died of an unknown disease. May God bless the poor little
girls ferret heart. Will the unknown disease ever be islolated? Will the
disease be contracted to Commander Highlanders other ferret, Io? Will
Highlander contract this strange disease? and spread it to the other members
of the Croutonprise?
Highlander (in morning) <--- that's not the right "morning" I mean huh?
----------------
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 90 20:04:26 mdt
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "Khan Descending"
Next time, on an all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Khan Descending"
A terrorist from the past alters the future, when he steals the _Comatose_
and goes on a rampage (hehe) through the galaxy. Will Khan wrap an eel
around Zortyl Wankoid's cerebral cortex? Will anyone notice? Will Captain
Boom-Boom be left without a ship, buried in bite-size doughnuts on a
hostile world near the Hidden Valley Ranch? And will Missy be able to
keep the lights on when Khan fires on the Croutonprize as Zen fights
to recall the prefix code?
--------------
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 90 20:34:48 mdt
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: ST:TCG "The Back Room"
Next time, on all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"The Back Room"
Strange incidents and sudden malfunctions on board the Croutonprize lead
our crew to the inevitable question of what is really going on in Zen's
back room. Have Melissa and Soraya discovered the truth, only to hide
it from their Captain? Does Zen even know what is going on back there?
And will those who were away on shore leave during the party ever figure
out what this all means? As the lights fight Melissa to survive...
--------------
Date: Sun, 1 Apr 90 22:24:56 mdt
From: zecca (Mad Bob the Avenger)
Subject: New TCG episode
Next time, on all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"The Process from Hell"
The mischevious Queue returns to plague the Star Fleet Headquarters
computing system. Everything Admiral Avenger has tried has failed,
and process 22043
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