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The Crouton Generation Archives
STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION
EPISODES #212 - 241
Date: Sun, 22 Apr 1990 0:16:33 EDT
From: CMHARVEY@SUNRISE.ACS.SYR.EDU
Subject: An episode at last!
Next time : on a totally boring and hopefully unobtrusive episode of -
"Star Trek(ies): The Crouton Generaysion!"
The malicious EPA is forced to shut down Starbase Syracuse since it appears
to serve absoulty no purpose what-so-ever, thus cutting the Crouton's shore
leave to an abrubt end (which no one will eat). This end is then captured by
Hidden Valley Ranch Empire, in alliance with the evil Eggers (can you beleive
that this guy's first name is Melvin?), who then demand a 9.94% increase in
rent from all the poor people living there. Will Captain Crouton, Commander
Tangent, and his Chief Security Officer stop the Valley and rotten Eggers
before it's too late? Will Frechette figure out the meaning of life? Will
Missy get the lights on, or will she leave everyone in the dark (especially
Frechette!) [Hey! so I don't know her, eveyone else puts that in there!]?
Will Kerri and Chad strangle the living you-know-what out of the net? Will
everyone start speaking Russian? Will Chad ever get his endings right? Will
Kerri find a way home? Do any of the last few questions have anything to do
with the episode? As the Croutons (and especially the dead city of Syracuse)
fight to PARTY...er...stay Croutonized over the summer (what's the difference?)
Commander Thank-god-I'm-done-cause-now-I-can-go-to-bed Tangent! So There!
--------------
Date: Sat, 21 Apr 90 22:32:45 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG "Lotto"
Next time, on all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Lotto"
The First Intergalactic Lottery is about to held and the crew scramble to
buy up tickets. Suddenly, A^2B appears to lecture the crew on the waste of
time they are engaging in and their negligible odds in winning. Will
Commander Reichert defy the odds and use his Inge powers to win the Lotto?
Or will he find that Jez has eaten the only winning ticket? Find out on
the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation!
--------------
Date: Sun, 22 Apr 90 11:15:48 EDT
From: shectman%husc4@harvard.harvard.edu (Nicholas Shectman)
Subject: ST:TCG "Son of Lotto"
Next time, on an all-new but non-flashing episode of
Star Trek: The Crouton Generation:
"Son of Lotto"
Starbase Harvard prepares for a change of crew as the ensigns ready for
themselves for a three-year tour of duty in one of the base sections and
the seniors finish their tours and head for other starbases or the wonderful
life of floating in the interstellar rooms. All would be well and good
were it not for the policy of distributing rooming by lottery...
See the Kunz lecture on the low probability of 'winning'!
See the juniors scramble for housing in the 'Tower of Power'!
See the ensigns wonder if they will get creamed in the lottery!
See one lucky person win a million dollars and a vacation home
in florida!
as the 'basers fight to survive!
-/phi
--------------
Date: Sun, 22 Apr 90 11:08:21 MDT
From: platt@snoopy (The Crouton Man)
Subject: ST:TCG.....
Next time on Star Trek : The Crouton Generation
" Q C Inc. "
The company that designed and build the Salad Ship class
_Croutonprize_, Quality Croutons Inc., discover a major design
flaw, and recall all of the ships in the class... Is this a trick
by the Hidden Valley Empire to get there hands on the Secret Crouton
torpido technology, or can Captian Croutons and Admiral Avenger talk
Q C Inc. into installing an anti-dressing cloaking device, while the
ship is in port... (Stays cripy in dressing)... as the crew fights
to survive.
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=- The Crouton Man -=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
--------------
Date: Sun, 22 Apr 90 11:22:18 MDT
From: platt@snoopy (The Crouton Man)
Subject: ST:TCG......
Next time on Star Trek : The Crouton Generation
"The Mating of the B+Trees"
The great sorceress Evi goes on her semi-annual regeneration
of her most powerfull weapon, the B+Tree... Turning the brightest,
along with the not so bright minds of youth to mush, she is able
to regenerate a 6 month charge for her weapons... will any of the
Crew be forced into slaving for the sorceress this time around, or
will they just be force to wait for tty's and time slices? Stay tuned
as the Crew fights to survive...
( yes, it is sunday morning, and on tramp there are several poeple
already working on the infamous B+Tree assignment... )
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=- The Crouton Man -=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
--------------
Date: Sun, 22 Apr 90 13:59:24 MDT
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (MOORE@CONFUSED.STATE.EDU)
Subject: Next on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"Tin Can"
Acting Lt. Neal Chuang has done it again! This time, he has invented
the galaxy's first automated rabbit with a positronic brain. But no
sooner does he complete the project when the rabbit escapes his lab-
oratory and keeps going, and going, and going,... Captain Crouton
must then call in security to hunt down the meddling, mechanized men-
ace before it has a chance to intrude on the _Croutonprize's_ commer-
cial indorsement for Nabisco's new and improved crispy, crunchy
croutons. Will Lt. Sternk and his security force be able to stop the
lollygagging lagomorph before they become the laughing stock of the
galaxy? Tune in to find out...
---------------
Date: Sun, 22 Apr 90 16:04:25 MDT
From: m_midzor%kaos@spot
Subject: ST:TCG episode
On a all new Starrrrrrrr Drekkkkkkkkkkk.....
"Regional Meating"
The Captain, Lt. Midzor, and the ship's computer Zen are slow-warped
via the "Honda" into a Regional Meeting. There, they are locked in two
little room surrounded by alien life forms who consume a Klingon-looking
substance called "pizza." As the crew examine the cracks in the wall, an
unknown alien announces that they can only escape using 6 pieces of paper,
10 paper clips, and a piece of string. Can the trapped crew overcome their
tensor stress and design an escape mechanism? Will Zen fall into the pool
of water the aliens have built. And let it be known that Lt. Midzor
GOT THE DAMN LIGHTS ON! As the crew fights on to survive, of course.
--------------
>From zecca Sun Apr 22 22:29:18 1990
Date: Sun, 22 Apr 90 22:29:15 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
To: gaz@tramp
Subject: ST:TCG "Taxi Vader"
Status: R
On the next exciting episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Taxi Vader"
While transporting Counselor Neon, Lt. Frechett, and Jez the Wonder Kitty
to a conference at Starbase 131, Crash and the "Gravy" encounter what
appears to be a space taxi, piloted by a large man in a black suit. He
hijacks the "Gravy" and demands that the four PAY him to take them to
their destination. Can Lt. Frechett cough up the cash? Can Counselor
Neon sense why this character breathes so heavily? Will Crash lose his
job as shuttlecraft pilot to a weirdo in black? Or will Jez the Wonder
Kitty call the IRS in time as the Croutons fight to survive?
--------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 09:27:12 MDT
From: frechett@snoopy (Mac the Ripper/ /)
Subject: ST:TCG
On a all new exciting episode of Star Trek the Crouton Generation.
foot-in-mouth
After returning to the Croutonprize with no money, Lt. Frechett suffers from an
extreme case of foot-in-mouth syndrome. (those who understand, will : those w
don't, wont). Lt. Frechette after much thought, decides to find someone to fix
the lights. Unfortunately no one can be found so Missy is sentenced to a life
of fixing lights. And the lights go out. Will Captian Crouton be able to find
his way out of the plamsa section of the ship? Will Lt. Commander Moore ever
get his hands unglued from the automatic ST:TCG generator? Will Counselor Neon
ever actually sense anything BEFORE it happens? Will Lt. Wankoid ever figure
where the ultimate computer really is, and if so will it be as confused as Zen?
Will Missy just give up and transfer to a ship with working lights? Will
anybody win the lottery? Will Lt. Frechett ever stop typying......? All this
and more as the Croutons fight to stay out of the Dressing on the next
episode of Star Trek the Crouton Generation.
Mac the Ripper/ / / / whew! It's miller time.
--------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 11:40:06 EDT
From: shectman%husc4@harvard.harvard.edu (Nicholas Shectman)
Subject: ST:TCG episode
NeXT on an all-new
Star Trek: The _c_r_o_u_t_o_n_ Generation
"April showers"
While exploring a new star system, the Croutonprize wanders into a
meteor shower and is hit by a storm of tiny particles, disabling its
long-range sensors. At about the same time, it comes across a planet that
shows signs of a past civilization, but currently has no animal lifeforms.
The only clues to past life on this planet that haven't been completely
overgrown by plants are a few bits of orbiting detritus, including a
2.5 meter orbiting space telescope that appears to _still be working_ after
millions of years. Can the crew use the scope to replace their scanners?
Is there some alien lifeform that has been protecting the scope, and did it
sic the meteors on the Crountonprize? And will this episode have anything
to do with 'May flowers' as Missy fights to keep the lights on?
-/phi
--------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 10:53:05 MDT
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (MOORE@CONFUSED.STATE.EDU)
Subject: Next on 'Star Trek: The Crouton Generation'
"Postnasal Drip"
It's springtime aboard the _Croutonprize_ (sniffle, sniffle) and Lt.
Cmdr. Moore's sinuses have just come out of dormancy. He soon goes
into a tissue frenzy, attempting to hoard every last kleenex for
himself. Meanwhile, Dr. Flieder is at her rope's end, as the medical
synthesizers are on the blink, forcing her to perform the tedious
process of producing some pseudephedrine hydrochloride with Chaung's
Playskool chemistry set. Will she succeed before Lt. Cmdr. Moore
blows out the few remaining bits of his brain, and everbody else's
eardrums? As the crew fights to survive....
--------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 13:01:35 MDT
From: cubldr::reid_jh (ZEN||SPOT::"zen@nirvana")
Subject: ST:TCG "The Iran-Contravariant"
Next time, on an all-gnu episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation:
"The Iran-Contravariant"
New political shockwaves shake the Federation to its very foundation when
someone accuses Admiral Avenger and Admiral T'Lillith of selling Federation
shuttlecrafts to the Hidden Valley Ranch Empire. Can the admirals clear their
names in time to prevent being demoted to ensigns? Or will they claim that
they've forgotten everything? Can Jez the Wonder Kitty reassemble the shredded
documents in time to reveal the true culprit? Will Missy electrocute herself
when she tries to turn on the lights at SFHQ? Find out on the next exciting
episode of Star Trek: The Ollie Generation.
#==============Zen===Ship's=Computer=USS=Croutonprize=NCC=1741C===============#
---------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 13:13:57 MDT
From: cubldr::reid_jh (ZEN||SPOT::"zen@nirvana")
Subject: ST:TCG "Dummy Index"
Next time, on an All-New episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation:
"Dummy Index"
The mischevious Ashby appears on the Croutonprize and abducts Missy, Soraya,
and Zen and takes them with him back to the Tedium Continuum. There he
subjects them to seventeen different derivations of the Lorentz Transformations
and threatens to make them write another computer program. Can Captain Crouton
locate his missing friends? Will Jez the Wonder Kitty finally find a way to
open the can of Pounce by himself? Can Zen survive this new assault on his
circuits, or will the Einstein Summation Notation drive him to change his
religion once and for all to Chemistry? Will Missy find a way to turn on the
lights in the Tedium Continuum, or will she be as in the dark as everybody
else? Find out on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Variable
Generation.
#==============Zen===Ship's=Computer=USS=Croutonprize=NCC=1741C===============#
--------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 13:20:37 MDT
From: cubldr::reid_jh (ZEN||SPOT::"zen@nirvana")
Subject: ST:TCG "Hey, Fever!"
Next time, on an ACHOO! episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation:
"Hey, Fever!"
While attending a symposium on the planet Ragweed 3, Admiral Avenger, Captain
Crouton, and Lt. Cmdr. Moore are afflicted with a strange, recurring disease
that causes them to be sneezy, grumpy, dopey and sleepy all at once. Can Doc
(Dr. Flieder) find a cure for them, or will they be trapped in a Walt Disney
movie forever? Will Jez the Wonder Kitty be scared by all the constant
sneezing? Can Missy repair the lights before Captain Crouton returns? Find
out on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Benadryl Generation.
#==============Zen===Ship's=Computer=USS=Croutonprize=NCC=1741C===============#
--------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 22:28:31 edt
From: "My oxygen needs a brain (Russell, Kerri)"
Subject: ST:TCG
On the Next (not quite so) exciting episode of Star(bi) Trek the Crouton
Generation:
"half japanese takes on the Greeks"
Commander half japanese goes insane because of a lack of sleep caused by the
Greeks here at Dickinson IV. And as a result of this she declares war against
the entire system, because they were obviously placed here by the Hidden
Valley Ranch Empire to distract half japanese from all her "important" work.
Will half japanese be able to stop the Greeks from preforming their pledging
rituals which prevent her from sleeping, or will she just kill her roommate
just for the sake of killing her roommate???? Or will wojwoman prevent half
japanese from going completely and totally bonkers???? Or will wojwoman join
the fight??? As the GDI's (God Damn Independants) fight to sleep!... (wait a
minute, if they are fighting how can they be trying to sleep???? Oh well.)
[half japanese's note: I don't really hate the Greek system. I am just sick
of pledging and being kept awake at night b/c of either calls to my roommate
who is pledging a sorority and to be a little sister for a frat. And I am
also sick of being woken up at rude times (5:30 - 6am is a rude time) b/c SHE
is pledging. They could at LEAST be quiet about it...]
Kerri "half japanese" Russell
--------------
Date: Mon, 23 Apr 90 22:43:31 edt
From: "From...ME!! (Wojiski, Beth)"
Subject: ST:TCG
To: GAZ@TRAMP
On the Next episode of Star Trek the Crouton Generation:
"What the Hell is going on????????"
Wojwoman receives this letter to GAZ with an all new episode of Star Trek:The
Crouton Generation apparantly written by her, but that she has no recollection
of writing. When she reads this will it occur to her that half japanese, who
was incredibly bored at work, decided to login to her account and write this
episode??? And if it didn't occur to her when she read the begining of the
episode will it have occured to her by now??? And if not will everyone
consider her an idiot??? Will she try to get back at half japanese by logging
into half japanese's account??? Will she bother to change her password???
Will half japanese bother to change hers??? Find out as half japanese hides to
survive...
--------------
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 90 10:35:04 edt
From: "From...ME!! (Wojiski, Beth)"
Subject: ST:TCG
"Foiled!"
As Lt. Woj logs into her account, she is surprised to find that her superior
at Dickinson IV, Half Japanese, has played a little trick on everybody using
her account for an ST:TCG episode! AAARRRGGGHHHH! So, Lt. Woj decides that
the BAcos must have gotten to her commander's brain somehow, and ventures to
save her from a fate worse than death! However, the evil Bacos were one step
ahead of her! As Lt. Woj gets into Half Japanese's account, the
Bacos put up a defense shield that looks something like this:
You will have three attempts to enter the correct secondary password.
Lt. Woj tries every combination possible, but is foiled!!! DRATS! She
decides to refocus her energy and think of a new plan to save Half Japanese.
Will she save her in time? Have the Bacos done any permanent drain-bamage to
Half Japanese? Will the Greeks join forces with the Bacos? WIll Half
Japanese have any sanity left? Will Woj have any sanity left? What the HELL
is going on here? As the Croutons fight to survive....
--------------
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 90 12:53:47 MDT
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (MOORE@CONFUSED.STATE.EDU)
Subject: Next on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"All's Quiet on the Croutonian Front"
A deathly silence sets in on the _Croutonprize_ as the crewmembers
desperately finish their semester projects and other important duties
in preparation for Starfleet inspection, only two weeks hence. Mean-
while, some of the good-for-nothings with nothing more important to do
bitch and complain about not getting any c-mail ("c" for "crouton").
Will Captain Crouton and his fellow Boulderites be able to carry on
there work despite these obnoxious interruptions? And will Zen ever
come out of dormancy and post some messages to keep the others
happy? As the crew (quite literally) fights to survive.
---------------
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 90 17:40:35 mdt
From: platt (The Crouton Man)
Subject: ST:TCG.......
Next time on ... well you know the rest, right?
"The Complex God"
As the Crew are of the Croutonprize are exploring a class L planet, in
the star system in the coffee-milk section of the galaxy, they discover a
Civilization that is based on the belief in the "Complex God" who makes life
easy by converting all nasty looking transenetal functions into nice
exponetals, but forces poeple to look onto the imaginary parts... will the Lt.
Ghiasi be able to learn to do Differental Equations using Laplaces Method in 4
lines, will this new wealth of information revolutionize the way that the
federation does calculations, or will is just make life complex, as the crew
fights to survive...
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
-=- The Crouton Man -=-
-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-
--------------
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 90 17:53:09 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG
On the next analytic episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Croutonic Functions"
Lt. Zenador arrives in the shuttlecraft _Baby_ to discuss Lt. Ghiasi's
complex problems. Halfway through their work, Soraya realizes she's
lost her keys and Jez is still locked in her quarters. Will Counselor
Neon be able to sense where Soraya's keys were lost? Will Zen be able
to locate the keys? Will Missy be able to keep the lights on throughout
the search? Will Jez be able to GET OUT of the room he's trapped in?
And will the crew be able to solve the differential equation the Carl
has left in Zen's memory bank as they fight to find Soraya's keys?
--------------
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 90 18:47:48 mdt
From: chuangn (The Mad Minstrel)
Subject: ST:TCG
Here's my first episode:
On the next episode aboard the "Croutonprize"...
[5;9m"Missing Lights"[5;0m
Tired of always fixing the lights, Missy decides to hide them. Cast
in total darkness, the Kunz attacks with a whole new set of problems
for the Captain and Zen to work on. Can Counselor Neon discover in
time who stole the lights and to find them? Will the Captain and
Zen be able to finish the problems in total darkness? As the crew
fight to survive...
--------------
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 90 19:03:41 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG
Next time, on [5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Cavendish's Revenge"
Admiral Avenger and Zen are trapped on DPG-0091, again forced to do the
Riddler's evil work. They are told that they may not leave until they
have measured the gravitational constant of the Universe to its expected
value within 2 decimal places. Unfortunately, this is a trap they can
not get out of, because Cavendish has played a trick on the Universe.
Zen and Avenger find G = - 6.67 x 10E-11 N-m^2/kg^2 and discover that
Cavendish has REVERSED the polarity of gravity from beyond the grave.
Can they change the gravitational constant of the Universe, or will they
forever be trapped in the Riddler's evil schemes? With gravity turned
into anti-gravity, will the crew be able to hold themselves together?
Find out on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Ridley Generation.
--------------
Date: Tue, 24 Apr 90 19:08:55 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG again
Next time, on an all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Cricket, Anyone?"
The crew get their revenge against the Riddler in a peculiar way: Lt. Gretzky
beams down to the Riddler's home world, DPG-214, and sets up a dozen cricket
fields and begins an intra-crew cricket tournament. At the sight of this,
the Riddler screams, without a stutter, "Oh god this is boring!" and tries
to find a way off the planet. Will Soraya get through an inning without
losing her keys? When night falls, will Missy be able to get the field
lights to work? And will the Riddler be bored to death as Jez fights to
find the cat food?
--------------
Date: Wed, 25 Apr 90 20:13:25 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG
Next time, on an all-coooooool episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"The Way to the Final Frontier"
The Croutonprize is forced to destroy a small vessel attempting to
penetrate the Hidden Valley Ranch Neutral Zone, but not before Lt.
Taubman is able to beam over survivors. Hippie Woman and her minion,
known only as Josh, quickly wow the crew with promises of "No more
science classes!" and "Peace in the galaxy!" Captain Crouton is deeply
troubled as he slowly loses control of the ship. Suddenly, Hippie Woman
finds the keys Soraya lost an hour before and she and Josh barricade
themselves in Auxilliary Control, where they set a course for Hendrix III,
well inside Hidden Valley Ranch space, and play Guns 'n' Roses songs at
volume 11 on Zen's speakers. Will Captain Crouton be able to regain
control of his ship? Will Zen's CPU be reduced to dust by the sounds
of Axl Rose? Will Soraya ever get her keys back? Will Missy be able to
get the lights OFF for once, so security can storm the auxilliary control
door? Will Jez get a decent nap with all this commotion? Will the crew
be able to survive attack by Commander Bloocheez and his squadron of
Hidden Valley Ranchers? And what is the true identity of the mysterious
Hippie Woman and what relation does she have to one of the crew members?
Find out, on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The 60's Generation.
-- Admiral Zecca, Star Trek: The Crouton Generation
---------------
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 90 01:12:27 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG "Hyde and Kunz"
Next time, on an all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Hyde and Kunz"
The Coffee Gods mistakenly use Rocky Flats water in their coffee and
the Kunz falls victim to the radiative effects "the coffee with glowing
reviews." He begins to change his personality without warning, giving
"really, really, realllllly easy" exams and a dozen computer programs
per week and empties every vending machine on the Croutonprize of its
M&M's. Will the crew be able to survive this darker side of the Kunz?
Will Zen's CPU melt down due to the excessive load caused by the extra
computer programs? Will Soraya find her keys? And will Dr. Flieder
and the Gaz be able to discover a cure, or will the Kunz forever become
an evil professor? Find out as Jez fights to sneak into the shuttle
bay on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation!
--------------
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 90 11:26:40 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG "Lighten Up"
On the next enlightening episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Lighten Up"
The Kunz tempts Missy with Kunz powers, which she eagerly takes as her own.
Now Missy can turn the lights on and off at will just by snapping her fingers
Will Missy realize the temptation of omnipotent powers is
too great for her? Will the crew be able to stand having the lights on all
the time? And what about that poor little old lady in Germany whose lights
Missy keeps shutting OFF with her Kunz powers? Will the extra lighting help
Soraya find her keys? And will Jez be able to get a decent nap with all
this light as the Croutons fight to survive?
--------------
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 90 12:13:42 MDT
From: cubldr::reid_jh (ZEN||SPOT::"zen@nirvana")
Subject: ST:TCG "Chi's Burger"
Next time, on an All-New episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Chi's Burger"
Captain Chow of the USS Sandburg suddenly is overcome by an irresistable desire
to build the perfect hamburger. He orders his crew to search the galaxy for
the ideal forms of meat, condiments, and bread products. They end up landing
on the planet McDonalds 10 Billion, where they encounter a race of women who
hold the secret for making perfect hamburger buns--except they're to child-like
to understand what Captain Roy wants ("Bun, bun, and bun! What is Bun?!?")
Can Roy create the perfect hamburger? Will Missy manage to fix the lighted
signs on McDondalds 10 Billion? Will Jez the Wonder Kitty manage to steal some
of the ingredients? Find out on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The
Limburger Generation.
#==============Zen===Ship's=Computer=USS=Croutonprize=NCC=1741C===============#
--------------
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 90 16:06:26 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG Episode
Next time, on an all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"Wayneing On Your Parade"
Lt. Gretzky plays a practical joke during the Star Fleet Academy Graduation
Ceremony and finds himself in hot water with the Admiralty. Will the Star
Fleet Commander's influence be enough to save the his career, or will the
crew have to appear in Gretzky's defense at his court-martial hearings?
Will Soraya find her keys in time? And will Jez find the missing evidence
that proves Gretzky was nowhere near the scene of the crime at the time?
Find out, as Counselor Neon warms up his debating skills and Missy sits
back quietly without hearing about the lights for once as Lt. Gretzky
fights to save his career!
--------------
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 90 22:13:32 MDT
From: moore_es%cubldr@spot (The Crouton Man)
Subject: Next on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"Sleep Deprivation"
Disaster strikes when Lt. Cmdr. Moo.........ZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz......
--------------
Date: Thu, 26 Apr 90 22:28:15 mdt
From: zecca (The Admiral)
Subject: ST:TCG "The Kroton Man"
Next time, on all-new episode of
[5;9mStar Trek: The Crouton Generation[0m:
"The Kroton Man"
The Croutonprize discovers a ship shaped like a giant Crouton floating
through space. Commander Highlander's Away Team finds a large number of
Cyborgs on board, all plugged into various consoles.
Lt. Ghiasi: "Karim, look at this one."
Cdr. Highlander: "What the f***???"
Counselor Neon (taps his communicator): "Neon to Croutonprize."
Capt. Crouton: "Crouton here. Go ahead."
Highlander: "There are cyborgs all over this ship and....this one looks
like YOU, Captain."
Ghiasi: "And this one looks like Wankoid."
Lt. Midzor: "Oh, no. We'd better get out of here!"
Crouton: "Why? What's wrong?"
Midzor: "I just found MY cyborg -- This ship isn't dead. She's trying
to fix the damn lights again!"
Crouton: "Taubman, CROUTONIZE them NOW!"
Yes, the crew has discovered a Croutonprize from a parallel Universe
where the Borg defeated the Federation. Even Jez the Wonder Kitty has
a Cyborg equivalent on the Krotonprize, and Zen is no longer the ship's
computer, but is instead the collective artificial intelligence of the
crew.
Will the Croutonprize resolve the situation before Robomissy gets the
lights back on? Will the Cylander slice the crew to bits? Will Jez
the Electric Kitty steal all the Croutonprize's WD-40? Find out, on
the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Kroton Generation.
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