STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION

		Technology

Crouton			A peculiar sub-lepton particle accidentally discovered
			that violates all previous theories of Quantum
			Mechanics.  It's spin of 29/37th, 23/37th, or 13/37th
			(depending on the "crunchiness" of the Crouton) gives
			rise to its quite useful properties and the total lack
			of understanding amongst the Federation's top
			scientists.
Impulse Drive		Sub-light drive for intra-system movement.
Warp Drive		23rd century drive.  Speed = (Warp Factor^3) c
Warped Drive		Captain Boom-Boom's libido
Trans-Warp Drive	Failed experimental 23rd century drive.
Ultra Warp Drive	24th century drive.  Speed = (Ultra-Factor^5) c
Sixth Warp Drive	Late 24th century drive.  The standard on most Star
			Fleet vessels.  Speed = (Six-Factor^6) c
Jolt-Warp Drive		Expensive new drive installed on intergalactic
			starships.  Speed = (Jolt-Factor^8) c.  Most ships
			still use Six-Warp for everyday use, but Jolt-Warp
			makes travel within the Local Group feasible.
No-Doz Warp Drive	A 10th power drive that is still in the theoretical
			stages.
Phasers			Still a Star Fleet standard, for both ship and hand,
			but much more powerful than antique phasers.
Crouton Torpedoes	The "power punch" of a Federation starship
The Croutonizer		A faster, more efficient, longer-range version of
			the old-style transporters.  Breaks your body up into
			its individual Croutons, breaks them down, then beams
			you to where you're going, where it re-Croutonizes you.
Kunz Powers		The special abilities associated with omnipotent beings
			from the Kunz Continuum, including The Kunz, The Carl,
			and The Ashby.  Some people believe that Admiral
			Avenger may have secretly retained a few.

		Ships

NCC-1741-C	USS Croutonprize	Captain:  Chris Crouton
	_Salad_-class flagship
	Crew:  2031 			Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.9
Shuttlecraft:
01	Fork		06 	Pepto Bismol	11	Northwest Airlines
02	Spoon		07 	Maalox		12	Blueshift
03	Knife		08	Metamucil
04	Ladle		09	Spork
05	Gravy		10	Crash

NCC-75703	USS Chivalier		Captain:  "Roy" CHow
	_Salad_-class starship
	Crew:  2024			Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.9
Shuttlecraft:
01	Harry Caray	06	Robert Redford
02	Ryne Sandberg	07	Kevin Costner
03	Wombat		08	Topjob
04	Chicago		09	Red October
05	La Jolla	10	Stealth

NCC-75704	USS Heisenberg		Captain:  Kabeta
	_Salad_-class starship
	Crew:  2029			Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.9
Shuttlecraft:
01 Baby the Happy Honda	06	Condiment	11	Teabag
02	Carrot		07	Dunster
03	Redundancy	08	Garbanzo
04	Inconsistency	09	Cheff's Allah'd
05	Idiocy		10	Crimson (painted red, of course)

NCC-2947	USS Comatose		Captain: "Boom-Boom" Loesch
	_Cavalier_-class starship
	Crew:  918		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.7
Shuttlecraft:
01	The Millenium Sweatsock	05	Winchell's
02	Juggernaut		06	Jesse Helms
03	Houston Chronicle
04	alt.sex.bondage	

NCC-1987-E	USS Melbourne		Captain: Richard Muirden
	_James T. Kirk_-class starship
	Crew: 1303		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.6
Shuttlecraft:
01	Koala		05	Possum
02	Kangaroo	06	Bunyip
03	Platypus
04	Emu

NCC-1823-B	USS Ryne Sandberg	Captain: "Roy" Chow
	_James T. Kirk_-class starship
	Crew:  1301		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.6
Shuttlecraft:
01	Mark Grace	05	Shawon Dunston
02	Greg Maddux	06	Mitch Williams
03	Harry Caray	07	Andre Dawson
04	Steve Stone	08	Mike Bielecki
Note:  The _Sandberg_ and all its crew, except Captain Chow, were lost in
  battle with the HVR _C Hag_ circa Stardate 100130.

NCC-2500-MP	USS Rampage	Admiral Avenger's personal transport
	_Fleming_-class personnel courier
	Crew: 1-12		Max. Warp:  Jolt-Factor 10.5

NCC-98471	USS Jenice Mannheim	Admiral Picard's personal transport
	_Fleming_-class personnel courier
	Crew: 1-12		Max. Warp:  Jolt-Factor 10.5

NCC-98472	USS Noonian Soong	Vice Admiral Data's personal transport
	_Fleming_-class personnel courier
	Crew: 1-12		Max. Warp:  Jolt-Factor 10.5

NCC-2988	USS Green Archer	Captain: Mike Atkinson
	_Cavalier_-class starship
	Crew:  1311		Max. Warp: Six-Factor 9.9

HVR _C Hag_	Captain:  Commander Bloocheez
	Ki-torit-kah class cruiser
	Crew:  1600?		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.1?

Other known Ki-torit-kah and Ki-toram-buh class:
HVR _C Dragon_, has cloaking device, Commander Taco Salsa
HVR _C Monster_, Commander Alf Fraidough

HVR _C Shell_	Captain:  Commander Oughtree
	Ki-toram-buh class cruiser
	Crew:  1200?		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.1?
Other known Ki-Toram-Buh class:
	_C Weed_, _C Dee_, _C Spotrun_

HVR _C Throo_	Captain:  Commander Q. Kumbir
	Aye-Karum-Bah class cruiser
	Crew:  980?		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 8.3?

SS Snagglebarf		Captain: Guglgyg Gaddaghluygh
	Yoyoboqian 3rd Class cruiser
	Crew: 454 Yoyobqians	Max. Warp: Six-Factor 5.7