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Star Trek: The Crouton Generation
Season 4, pack #10
==================================
Date: Thu, 27 Jun 91 19:18:13 -0400
From: bryant@husc.harvard.edu (Katherine 'Kabeta' Bryant)
Subject: tcg ad...
On Kath's next episode of STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION (and her first
using the new style of ad!).......
"A Modest Proposal"
The Croutons are still reeling from the death of Admiral Picard and the
attack of the Lucky Borg...
Torbog: He was a fine man and brave, right up until the end.
But that hasn't stopped the Hidden Valley Ranch...
Bloocheez: This...is where it all ends.
Will a seemingly routine escort mission to Remus turn into something
far nastier?
Random Rancher: You better believe it, sweetheart.
Will the crew of the _Heisenberg_ be able to stop the Ranchers' devious
plot?
McDonagh: It'll work. It has to.
And how will Kabeta cope with an unexpected offer?
Kabeta: I, ah... you rather surprised me with that question!
UNEXPECTED DIFFICULTIES on Star Trek: The Crouton Generation!!!
Coming soon to a terminal near you...
--------------------------------
Date: Sun, 7 Jul 91 21:05:21 -0600
From: allenmk@tramp (Kabeta, not Eliana)
Subject: ST:TCG4 "A Modest Proposal" (Finally!) (***VERY LONG***)
[Bridge of the _Heisenberg_. It is not long after Picard's funeral, and
the crew seem more subdued than usual. Kabeta in particular looks as if
there's something on her mind. Finally she clears her throat to speak,
and the bridge crew looks up.]
Kabeta: Folks.... I've had several questions from people here about a
certain incident that took place when we were boarded by the Lucky Borg.
[sighs, and looks at Kleber] I guess the secret's out, eh, Lieutenant?
Kleber: I guess so, Captain.
O'Forever: Captain? Speaker? What are you two talking about?
Kabeta: When the Lucky Borg boarded us, we were almost all caught unarmed
and defenseless. When I found myself that way, reflex took over. I took on
a form I don't usually show in public.... that of a wolf.
yaz: That was *you*?
Kabeta: Yes, it was. Now you all know. I'd appreciate it if you don't
go spreading the story, though. [pause] It was one of my only remaining
secrets, and now it too is gone, at least partly.
[FADE TO BLACK]
---------------------------------------------------------------------
"A Modest Proposal"
Written by Katherine Bryant
Directed by Katherine Bryant
Produced by Yawn Productions, Inc.
Guest starring:
Michael Ironside as "Captain" (Commander) Torbog
Andreas Katsulas as Praetor Tomalok
Ed Begley, Jr. as Commander Bloocheez
Robert Sean Leonard as Simon Leonov
Peter Bryant as Andrei Gorovin
Lucinda Bryant as Marya Gorovina
Jennifer Ziebarth as the young Kabeta Gorovin
Incidental Music by Jean-Michel Jarre
Country dance music from Playford's _English Dancing Master_
Country dance reconstructed by Patri Pugliese
----------------------------------------------------------------------
"Captain's Log, Stardate 104050.7.
We are currently en route to Remus, returning Praetor Tomalok and
Captain Torbog there. I, for one, am glad that we have a simple,
routine mission now. After the death of Admiral Picard and then
the business with the Lucky Borg, we could all use some time to
recuperate. We will return to the LMC after the trip to Remus."
[Croutonizer Room. Kabeta enters, and signals to Lt. Lin-Elenuial
to hail the _Croutonprize_.]
Kabeta: Ready when you are, _Croutonprize_.
[Two Croutonizer beams activate, and we see Praetor Tomalok and Captain
Torbog materialize.]
Kabeta (stepping forward and extending a hand): Praetor Tomalok, it is
an honor to have you on our ship. I hope you will enjoy your stay aboard
the _Heisenberg_.
Tomalok: Thank you, Captain. I have heard much about your ship and the
valor of your crew.
Torbog: It is good to be on board again, Kabeta -- in somewhat more
pleasant circumstances than the last time!
Kabeta: You and your crewmembers were most helpful when we met with
the Lucky Borg, and I'm glad you were there. But it is indeed nice to
have you back here. May I offer you both a tour of the ship?
Tomalok: Nothing would suit me better.
[They leave the Croutonizer Room.]
[Insert your favorite commercial here...]
[Their tour of the ship complete, Kabeta, Torbog, and Tomalok approach
Kabeta's quarters.]
Kabeta: Might I interest either of you in something to drink?
Torbog: But of course.
[The door to Kabeta's quarters slides open, and she stands back to allow
the others to enter. Once inside, she lets Tomalok and Torbog sit, and
then goes around the desk to get her own chair. She brings it around to
the other side.]
Kabeta: So, what could I get you to drink?
[She gets the drinks from the catering unit, and brings them. There is
a moment or two of silence as they sip the drinks.]
Kabeta: So, Praetor, any opinions?
Tomalok: Truly, a fine ship. Your crew seems excellent, too, though I
will admit that some of them... shall we say, startled me.
Kabeta (laughing): Yes, I suppose they might. There are some pretty
bizarre characters on this ship. Sometimes I wonder why they all ended
up with me. I trust you did not have any run-ins with Lt. Cdr. McDonagh's
holo-hippos?
Torbog (confused): Holo-hippos?
Kabeta: McDonagh's done some wonderful things with holodeck technology.
Some of their results, though, have been so silly they could only come from
the one ship in the fleet that needs a Silly Support officer!
Tomalok: I see. No, I don't believe I saw any of those. At any rate,
I am most impressed with this, and the other _Salad_-class ships I have
seen.
[Torbog has been looking mildly uneasy, as if there were something on his
mind.]
Torbog: My Praetor...
Tomalok: Ah yes. You did say there was something you wanted to ask Captain
Kabeta, didn't you.
[Kabeta, who has risen to get something more to drink, stops and turns to
look at Torbog. She looks mildly bewildered.]
Torbog: Well, yes, there was. [He clears his throat, and takes a deep
breath.] I never dreamed I would be asking this of a member of the
Federation, but here goes. Captain Kabeta, I have come to a conclusion that
I would never have dreamed possible before the day I first encountered you
trespassing in Romulan space. My Praetor has graciously consented to
let me ask this question of you in his presence. [He rises, and walks over
to Kabeta. ] Kabeta, will you do me the inestimable honor of becoming my
wife?
[Kabeta is taken completely unawares by the question. She does not even
make a pretense of remaining calm. She stares at Torbog for several
seconds, completely stunned. She sits down abruptly, and puts one hand
up to her mouth.]
Torbog: Captain? Are you not well?
Kabeta (stumbling for words): I, ah... you rather surprised me with that
question! I'm not quite sure what to say...
Tomalok: I believe that a simple "yes" or "no" would probably suffice.
[He is smiling, almost paternally, as he watches his top commander trying
to propose marriage.]
Kabeta: I...I can't. No. Torbog, I'm incredibly flattered to be asked,
and [as she catches the disappointment in his face] I'm not ruling anything
out for the future [at this, he brightens a little], but... I hardly
know you, really. I've seen you as a commander, and I've even danced with
you once (all three smile at this), but that's really all I know of you.
Tomalok: She makes a good point.
Torbog: Yes, I suppose so. But perhaps these difficulties may someday
be remedied... [He grins.]
Kleber (ic): Message from Remus for the Praetor and Captain Torbog,
Captain.
Tomalok: This is unexpected. Where may we receive this message?
Kabeta (rather glad of the interruption, to ease the awkwardness): The
"radio room." Follow me.
[Cut to the corridor outside the "radio room." Kabeta lets the Romulans
in.]
Kabeta: Here you are. [presses an intercom] Lt. Kleber, send the message
to the "radio room."
Kleber (ic): Aye, Captain.
[Kabeta leaves the Romulans in the room to receive their message. She
begins slowly pacing back and forth across the corridor. Finally, she
leans against a wall...]
FLASHBACK TIME!!!
[The scene is a country road in southern Xavion. We see Kabeta, about
fifteen or sixteen years old, walking hand in hand with a young man
of about the same age. They are smiling and talking. Suddenly, the young
man stops and turns toward her. (Their speech would, naturally, be in
Xavionite, but I'm *not* writing all that out!)]
Simon: Kabeta, I have a question for you.
Kabeta: Go right ahead, Simon dear.
[He takes both her hands in his, goes down on one knee, and looks her
straight in the face.]
Simon: Kabeta Andreevna Gorovin, will you marry me?
[Kabeta looks surprised, then a wide smile spreads across her face and
she blushes a little.]
Kabeta: Of course, Simon Ivanovich Leonov! Oh, you make me so happy!
[Simon stands, and they embrace.]
Simon: We must go tell our parents.
Kabeta: And then arrange for the betrothal.
[The scene fades into one, a few weeks later, of a joyous village ceremony.
We see Simon, escorted by his parents, waiting in front of a village Smarag.
He is dressed in a well-made tunic and pants, decorated with fine
embroidery. Then, from off to one side, comes Kabeta. With her are two
adults -- her adoptive parents, Andrei and Marya Gorovin. Kabeta is dressed
in a simple white dress with a purple sash, and there is a wreath of
small white and purple flowers in her hair.]
Andrei: My daughter, are you prepared for this?
Kabeta (beaming): Of course I am, father. It's only the betrothal, not
the wedding!
Marya: Still. I hope Simon is as happy as you seem to be. You do make
a lovely couple.
[The three walk to where Simon and his family are waiting. The Smarag
begins the betrothal ceremony.]
Smarag: Now, my children, you are here today to swear that you will soon
marry one another. Be this true?
Simon/Kabeta: Aye, Father.
Smarag: Then may it be so. What say your parents to this betrothal?
Andrei: I, Andrei Falochovich Gorovin, do give my blessing.
Marya: And I, Marya Turanovna Gorovina, do give mine.
[Simon's parents say much the same.]
Smarag: Then let it be so. When propose ye to marry?
Simon: We propose the Feast of the Falling Rain next.
Kabeta: By which time, we will both be of age.
Smarag: Then let it be so. [He places their hands together.] Then
hereby let it be known that upon this day Simon Ivanovich Leonov swore
unto Kabeta Andreevna Gorovin that he would love none other than her.
Simon: I so swear.
Smarag: And let it be known that upon this day Kabeta Andreevna Gorovin
swore unto Simon Ivanovich Leonov that she would love none other than he.
Kabeta: I so swear.
Smarag: And let it be known that by the tokens they exchanged, they promised
marriage to each other upon the next Feast of the Falling Rain. Present
ye your tokens of love.
[Simon presents to Kabeta a brooch of gold set with the Xavionite
equivalent of amethyst. She gives him a belt with a buckle of silver inlaid
with blue stones. As they exchange the gifts and a kiss, the villagers
assembled for the ceremony cheer. They begin a country dance, in which
the beaming Kabeta and Simon join.]
[The scene shifts yet again, to a few months later -- just two weeks before
the wedding. The villagers are running hither and thither, and screams
and cries can be heard from the square. Kabeta rides into the village,
astride a fethod (the Xavionite equivalent of a horse). Puzzled by the
chaos in the village, she dismounts and walks toward the village square.
Suddenly, she is grabbed by a neighbor woman.]
Neighbor: Kabeta Andreevna! You should not be here!
Kabeta: Why? What has happened?
Neighbor: [pause] The king sent men to this village. They claimed to be
looking for a woman who is part of the family from whom they seized the
throne. They went to every house, looting and destroying as they went,
looking for her. They did not find her, for she was off on merchant
business for her parents...
[Kabeta stares at her, baffled, until it sinks in that it is *her* the
neighbor is speaking of.]
Kabeta: That is absurd! I am no royalty.
Neighbor: So we all know, and tried to tell them. But they listened not.
Kabeta (suddenly frightened): Where are my parents?
Neighbor: My dear, I hate to have to show you this. But you must know.
Look there, upon the village square.
[Kabeta looks, and to her horror she sees the bodies of Simon Leonov and
Andrei and Marya Gorovin lying in the middle of the square in pools of
blood. She stares, and then turns away in horror and grief.]
Neighbor (softly): The king's men accused them of hiding you, and slew them
"as an example to anyone else who might try to hide her." Kabeta, I am
sorry...
[Kabeta turns away, clutching the brooch that closes her riding cloak. It
is the one Simon gave her on their betrothal day...]
END FLASHBACK, FINALLY!!
[Cut back to the _Heisenberg_ corridor. Kabeta is leaning against the
wall, with a few tears running down her cheeks. She hears the door opening,
and quickly brushes them away and stands up. Tomalok and Torbog emerge from
the "radio room."]
Tomalok: This bodes ill. We are told of a brewing revolt. Some of those
who opposed the Alliance have taken advantage of our absence to try to
unseat our government.
Kabeta: Will you require our assistance?
Torbog: No, I don't think so, Captain, but thank you for the offer. We
do, however, need to return to Remus as quickly as we may.
Kabeta (presses intercom): Bridge, what is our ETA to Remus?
O'Forever: ETA one hour, Captain. If we increase speed to Jolt-8, we'll
be there in about fifteen minutes.
Kabeta: Make it so, Lieutenant. We need to get there soon.
[Insert another commercial here]
[Croutonizer Room. The _Heisenberg_ is in orbit around Remus. Kabeta is
seeing Tomalok and Torbog off.]
Kabeta: I hope things are not in too bad of shape. I wish you the best
of luck.
Tomalok: Our thanks for your hospitality, Captain. I am sure we will
see you again ere long.
Kabeta: I hope so, Praetor. Torbog, good to see you again. And rest
assured, I'll keep your offer in mind.
Torbog: I will remember that, Captain.
Kabeta: Energize, Lt. Lin-Elenuial.
[The Romulans vanish.]
[Cut to the bridge, a little while later. The crew is doing its usual
bridge-crew sorts of things.]
Kleber: Captain! Priority One message coming in from Remus. I think
it may be Torbog.
Kabeta: On screen.
[The screen reveals a rather battered-looking Torbog.]
Torbog (ss): Captain, you must help us. The message we got was a ruse
to get us back more quickly. As soon as we arrived on the planet, we
were attacked by Hidden Valley Ranchers. [Groans from the _Heisenberg_
crew.] They have used our absence to set up a government that is planning
to break the Alliance. They captured our Praetor; I was fortunate enough
to escape. You must return to Remus and help us. I dare not tell you
where I am; the Praetor will know if you rescue him.
[There is a minute or two of stunned silence.]
Kabeta: Lt. O'Forever, you heard him. Plot a course to Remus, maximum
warp. We've got to get there fast.
O'Forever: Course ready.
Kabeta: Engage. Now.
[Exterior shot. The _Heisenberg_ enters orbit around Remus again.]
Kabeta: All right. We need an away team, and a good-size one at that.
[She looks around at her crew.] Scribonia, you're healing well, but I
really don't think Dr. Hertzman would approve of you going off on away
team duty quite yet. I think I better lead this one. Furd, I want you
with me. Lt. Thokk, you too. Zenador, we may need your expertise. [She
pauses, thoughtfully, then presses an intercom.] Mr. McDonagh, I want you
on this away team too. I don't know why, but something tells me you may
be useful.
McDonagh (ic): I'll meet you in the Croutonizer Room.
Kabeta: We need one more. [She surveys the crew.] Lt. maya. We really
need to get you some more away team experience. Okay, I think six should
be enough. While we're gone, Scribonia, you and Lt. Kleber send a message
to Admiral van Tripp at Starfleet and let him know what's happened. And
just hang tight. I don't know how well we'll be able to keep in touch;
we won't want to attract much attention.
[Kabeta, Furd, Zenador, Thokk, and maya leave the bridge.]
[Insert another commercial here!]
[An empty alleyway in a major city on Remus. The away team Croutonizes
into view. Thokk starts to draw his phaser, but Kabeta stops him.]
Kabeta: Uh-uh. Not till we need them. We can't look too aggressive, or
we'll tip off the Ranchers. [She looks around at the group.] In fact,
I think we'd do well to get some local clothes -- just some things to
put on over our uniforms to make us look a little less Federation.
maya: It sounds like there's a market of some sort at the end of this
alley.
Kabeta: Perfect. We'll head out one at a time. Try not to attract
attention. And as soon as you're ready, meet back here.
[A few minutes later, the away team have all changed clothes. maya is sporting
a Romulan skirt and a top constructed from a scarf and a couple of pins.
Kabeta has a Romulan jacket over her uniform, and a brightly-colored bag
over her shoulder. The men are in various sorts of Romulan clothes; Thokk
is wearing what looks rather like a bathrobe.]
Kabeta: That should be good, folks. But, ah, Thokk? What *is* that
you're wearing?
Thokk: Not sure. But it all that fit me.
[All six laugh. Then Kabeta turns serious.]
Kabeta: All right, folks. We've got two main jobs, as I see it. One is to
find the Praetor and free him. The other is to get him back into power and
the Ranchers out of it.
Zenador: Why don't we split up? Send some people to try and spring the
Praetor, and the others to scope out the Rancher position?
Kabeta: Good. Furd, you take McDonagh and Zenador and see if you can find
the Praetor. I expect he's in some sort of prison; what's the most likely
place to find a prison?
Furd: Traditionally, aren't dungeons under palaces?
Zenador: It's a good bet.
Kabeta: Right then. Thokk and maya, I want you with me. We're going to go
see how we might get the Ranchers out of there. You all have communicators
accessible, right?
[Everyone checks, and nods.]
KabetaL Then I think we're all set. This'll be our rendevous point.
Anything else before we go?
McDonagh: Just one thing, Captain. Or rather two.
[He produces two rather odd-looking pieces of technological something-or-
other.]
McDonagh: Thought these might come in handy. [He hands one to her.]
Kabeta: What is it?
McDonagh: A version of the personal Croutonizer that Taubman and I have
been playing with. It's not real powerful, but it may help in a pinch.
Kabeta: Now I know why I brought you along. Good work, Commander. [pause]
All right, then. Good luck, everyone.
[Kabeta, Thokk, and maya slip out of the alley.]
Furd: All right, men. First order of business is, I suppose, to find the
local dungeon.
McDonagh: Right ho.
[The three saunter casually out of the alley and through the marketplace.]
[Cut to the exterior of the palace. Kabeta, maya and Thokk are standing
sheltered by a wall.]
Thokk: So what our plan, Captain?
Kabeta: Good question. Wish I had a good answer to go with it. Somehow,
we've got to convince Bloocheez and his entire ship's crew to give up
their hold on Remus and the Romulans, and keep him from breaking the
Alliance. With six people. [She grimaces.]
maya: Six, plus the Praetor. Once we have him, I'm sure many of the people
will come around to our side.
Kabeta: *If* we get the Praetor, maya. If.
[Her communicator bleeps.]
Furd (ic): Furd to Kabeta.
Kabeta (softly): What is it, Commander?
Furd: We've found what we believe is the jail. We're going in.
Kabeta: Good. Keep me informed. Kabeta out. [pause] That's a start,
anyway. But as I was saying -- Bloocheez has been, it seems, playing on
the patriotic sentiments of the Romulans, some of whom weren't real happy
with the Alliance. The Praetor will command loyalty, certainly, but we
must be prepared for the possibility that some of the Romulans will side
with Bloocheez.
Thokk: This hard assignment, Captain.
Kabeta (smiling wryly): You said it, Lieutenant.
maya: But surely the Romulans will see that the Alliance is preferable to
being ruled by Bloocheez! I mean, Romulan women won't take kindly to
life Rancher-style...
Kabeta: Somehow, I think the Ranchers will try and keep that a secret as
long as they can. [pause, a thought forming] But maybe we could force
them to get it out in the open?
Thokk: What?
Kabeta: Supposing we were to show the Romulans how the Ranchers *really*
behave. We'd almost certainly get them on our side then.
maya: Good idea -- but how do we do that?
Kabeta (sighs): I don't know. But let's keep it in mind. Right now, we
need to see what kind of strength we're up against. Let's go.
[Commercial time...]
[Cut to Furd, McDonagh and Zenador. They are standing just outside the
entrance to the dungeons, trying very hard to look like tourists.]
Furd: So. We've got to get in there.
Zenador: Indeed we do. Any suggestions?
McDonagh: Just one. Stand close. [He pulls out the Croutonizer.]
Zenador: But we don't know what's on the other side of that door...
McDonagh: No, but we wouldn't know any better if we broke the door down.
I say let's do it.
Zenador: I just don't know if it's wise. You're the ranking officer, Furd,
so it's your call.
Furd: I am? You're both the same rank I am...
McDonagh: ...but you've got seniority. We've got to do something and do
it now. What's the word?
Furd: All right. Let's give it a try.
[The tree group together, and McDonagh activates the Croutonizer...
... and they reappear just inside the door. They are in a corridor that
turns sharply to the right just in front of them. Furd pulls out a
tricorder.]
Furd: There's a Rancher just around that corner. Phasers on stun -- we
better be careful.
McDonagh: This place looks like a maze. Little twisty corridors.
Zenador: Let's hope they're all different, or we'll never get out!
[Furd creeps up to the corner and peeks around.]
Furd: One Rancher guard is all. Guess they figured no one could get through
that door.
[His communicator bleeps.]
Thokk (ic): Thokk to Furd.
Furd (softly): Shh! They'll hear us. What is it, Lieutenant?
Thokk (ic, more quietly): Ranchers catch us. I escape. Captain and maya
caught.
Zenador: Oh no... the women in Bloocheez's clutches.
Furd: Bloody hell. Thokk, where are you?
Thokk: Alley by market, where we start.
Furd: Okay. You come join us here. Here's how to get here -- McDonagh
will meet you...
[Cut to the Praetor's quarters in the palace. Bloocheez is seated in a
chair obviously not quite designed for his 7-foot Rancher frame. His
black Stetson is tilted down over his eyes, and he looks uncommonly smug.]
[The door chimes.]
Bloocheez: Oh, what is it?
[The door slides open to reveal four Ranchers with the struggling Kabeta
and maya.]
Bloocheez: Well, well, well. What have we here? My darling! They found
you here? How wonderful! And who's this beautiful creature? [indicating
maya] A new pleasure.
Kabeta: You can't win, Bloocheez. You should know by now we won't give in.
Bloocheez: I can't see as you have much choice this time, sweetheart.
[nasty grin] This... is where it all ends. Guards -- take my darling
blonde here to a room down the hall and make sure she stays there. I think
I'll give this new one a try first...
[The guards shove Kabeta roughly toward the door. She manages to catch
maya's arm.]
Kabeta: Be strong, Lieutenant. I know you can.
[The guards hustle Kabeta out the door. Bloocheez indicates to the other
guards to release maya and leave.]
Bloocheez: Now, dearie, it's time you learned how to behave. I just hope
you're a better student than your Captain tends to be... Guard! Bring
me some rope.
maya (blanching): I don't believe this...
Random Rancher (bringing the rope): You better believe it, sweetheart.
[He and Bloocheez chuckle nastily. The guard leaves.]
Bloocheez: Come here.
maya: Yeah, right. How stupid do you think I am?
Bloocheez (pointing a phaser at her): I said, COME HERE!!
[Insert yet another commercial here...]
[Cut to the dungeon corridor. Thokk has joined the other three. They
have stunned the guard and are examining the cells, hoping to find the
Praetor.]
Furd: He must be here somewhere.
McDonagh: Well, there's only one more row of cells. What if he's not?
Thokk: Worry later.
McDonagh: Point taken.
[They enter the cell row. Thokk moves cautiously down the corridor, then
stops abruptly.]
Thokk: You Praetor?
[The others come running. Sure enough, there is Tomalok in the cell. He
looks exhausted.]
Tomalok: I had almost given up hope. Can you get me out of here?
Furd: Zenador. You've picked locks, haven't you?
Zenador: Let me look at it.
[He examines the lock. The others are growing uneasy. Thokk keeps watch
down the corridor toward the guard.]
Zenador: Yeah, I could pick it. But I don't have any of the tools I'd
need. These locks take some electronic stuff to pick them. Is there
anything I could strip stuff from?
McDonagh: Well... this thing couldn't carry all five of us anyway. I
hate to do it, because it'd leave us without emergency transportation,
but I expect the Croutonizer's your best bet, Zenador. [He hands him
the Croutonizer unit.]
Furd: We haven't much time. That guard will wake up soon, and then there
*will* be a stir. Go for it.
[Zenador starts pulling bits off the Croutonizer. He uses them to finagle
the lock.]
Thokk: Hurry. I think he waking up.
Zenador: Come on, come on, dammit.
McDonagh: It'll work. It has to.
Zenador: Okay, this should do it. Back up everyone, there may be fireworks
here tonight.
[He closes his eyes, and twists something and pushes something else. In
a shower of sparks, the door swings open.]
Furd (grabbing Tomalok's arm): Hurry. We have got to get you out of here.
[They run down the corridor, Thokk in the lead. They get to the door
to the outside, which Furd tries to open. It won't open. The guard wakes
up as they are struggling with the door.]
Guard: Wha... hey. What do you think you're doing?
Furd: Bloody hell! Why won't the door open?
Thokk: Let me.
[The giant security chief throws his bulk at the door. It cracks and breaks
under him.]
Furd: Run!
[The guard tries to shoot at them, but misses. He presses frantically
at his communicator.]
Guard: They've taken the Praetor. Repeat, the bird has flown. Four guys
took him. All male -- one's huge, the others kinda normal looking. All
security hands please report. All hands report.
[Cut to Bloocheez's quarters. maya's hands have been very roughly tied
together. Bloocheez has evidently been hitting her; she shows bad bruises
on her face and arms.]
Bloocheez: You make me very angry. Why can't you Federation girls learn
your place?
maya: We *have* learned our place. You're just trying to take us back out
of it.
Bloocheez: Feisty, aren't you? [He hits her in the face again.] Just
like your Captain. No doubt seeing this would upset her a great deal...
but of course there's nothing she can do about it.
[The door to Bloocheez's quarters slides open. He whirls in surprise,
and sees... Kabeta.]
Kabeta: Don't underestimate me, Bloocheez. It's really not wise.
Bloocheez: How did you --? Why didn't they --? [He is positively
sputtering with rage.]
[Kabeta slowly advances toward Bloocheez as she speaks. maya takes the
opportunity to move around behind him.]
Kabeta: I'm a patient sort, Bloocheez. I'll put up with a lot. Goodness
knows, with my crew you have to. However, I really don't take kindly to
people abusing my officers. I do have my limits, you know...
[She has backed Bloocheez almost into a wall. maya is waiting right
next to where he's about to back into.]
Kabeta: ... and you just crossed them.
[She slaps him, hard, across the face. He falls, surprised. As he does
so, maya lands him a solid kick in the gut. Kabeta grabs hold of her, and
activates the Croutonizer...]
[Another commercial break. Gee, don't you wish I were creative enough
to actually write some?]
[Cut to the marketplace. Romulans are running about screaming, as the
Rancher security guards stream out of the palace in search of the Croutons.
Furd, McDonagh, Zenador, Thokk, and Tomalok dash behind a shop and wait
there.]
Furd (out of breath): If the Ranchers turn this crowd to their advantage,
we'll never get out of here alive.
Tomalok: I will speak to my people. Perhaps they will listen to me.
Furd (after a thoughtful pause): I suppose it's as good a shot as any.
Men, let's cover him in case the Ranchers decide they want their prisoner
back.
[Slowly, the fivesome make their way through the crowd to the steps of
a large building next to the palace. The Praetor climbs the steps, while
the other four spread out nearby to cover him.]
Tomalok (very loudly): People of Remus!
[People in the crowd turn toward the voice, and more hubbub breaks out as
people realize who is speaking.]
Tomalok: My people! Be still a moment. Hear the words of your Praetor.
McDonagh (whispering to Thokk): Good voice.
Tomalok: My people! Those who have ruled here in my absence are no
Romulans! They are of the Hidden Valley Ranch, and are among the worst
enemies of all self-respecting peoples in the universe! Join with me
and we will restore Remus to the Romulans!
[Some of the crowd cheers this statement, while others hiss and boo. One
steps forward.]
Random Romulan: Yeah, but at least they're strong! They didn't need to ally
with their age-old enemies to survive, like *YOU* did.
[The mood of the crowd is shifting. Some express agreement with this
statement.]
Furd: Damn. It didn't work. The Ranchers have too many allies already.
Random Romulan #2 (a woman): Let us eliminate from our Romulan heritage
this stain of disgrace that is called the Alliance! Death to the weak
who plead for it, Praetor or not! Let us join with the Hidden Valley
Ranch so that we may once more rule supreme in the Galaxy! We will be
strong!
[Suddenly, Kabeta speaks from the steps of the palace, surprising
everyone -- including the Croutons.]
Kabeta: Strong, yes! But too strong. You, who just spoke. Do you care
to look like this?
[maya steps forward. There is an audible gasp from those nearby. She is
badly bruised on her face and arms, and there are rope burn gouges in her
wrists.]
Furd: What have they done to her?
Thokk: They hurt maya! They pay!
McDonagh: Shh. Not yet.
Kabeta: *This* is the strength of the Hidden Valley Ranch! They abuse
and demean all who stand in their way. Women have no role outside that
which men propose for them, and those who disobey court beatings and
death! Is this the strength you want, people of Remus?
Most of the crowd: No!!
Tomalok: Then join with me, and with our friends in the Federation. We
will drive the Ranchers from Remus and take back what is ours!
[The crowd cheers, and begins to storm the palace. Torbog and a number
of Romulan soldiers rush up from somewhere and join the mob, trying to
make this an organized business instead of a chaotic one.]
[Kabeta and maya make their way to join Tomalok and the other members
of the away team.]
Furd: That was amazing, Captain. How did you get out of there?
Kabeta: Thanks to McDonagh's good thinking, we had the Croutonizer.
Thokk: maya. You ok?
maya (sounding rather tired): I think so. My arms and face hurt though.
Tomalok: And not surprisingly. I thank you for risking so much for me.
Zenador: So what do we do now?
Kabeta: I think it's best if we stay out of the fighting [sounds of
screaming and general brouhaha from the palace] unless we are absolutely
needed.
[Cut to Bloocheez's quarters. He has picked himself off the floor where
Kabeta and maya knocked him, and is barking orders into a communicator
when Torbog and a horde of angry Romulans burst in.]
Torbog: All right, Bloocheez. Give it up.
Bloocheez: Never! [He reaches for a panel under the brim of his hat.
As soon as he presses it, a Croutonizer beam envelops him.]
Torbog: Damn!
[At the same moment, throughout the palace, selected Ranchers also
Croutonize moments before the Romulans are upon them. Those left behind
scream with rage before the Romulans attack and capture them.]
[Cut back outside. Kabeta's communicator bleeps.]
Scribonia (ic): _Heisenberg_ to Captain Kabeta.
Kabeta: What is it, Commander? Sorry we haven't been in better touch,
but things have been pretty crazy down here.
Scribonia (ic): Quite understandable, Captain. But we just detected
the _C Sick_ warping out of orbit. Should we pursue?
Kabeta: No, I don't think so, Commander. Bloocheez wouldn't be so foolish
as to let himself be caught that way. Stand by to beam us up.
[There is a sudden mass exodus from the palace. Torbog joins the Croutons
and Tomalok.]
Torbog: The palace is ours, my Praetor. But the enemy escaped.
Tomalok: I know, Commander. It is a pity. But at least Remus is
free.
Kabeta: And perhaps it is better this way, all around. Now someday
Bloocheez may have to answer for all his crimes, not just those committed
here today.
Tomalok: You speak wisely, Captain. Thank you all for your most timely
assistance. Once again, you have showed your willingness to risk life
and limb for the safety of the Romulan Empire and that of the Alliance.
Kabeta: You are most kind, Praetor.
Tomalok: As a small token of our gratitude, we would like to invite the
entire crew of the _Heisenberg_ to be our guests here on Remus for
a few days.
Kabeta: Thank you, Praetor. I think the LMC can spare us a few more
days, and I for one would welcome the chance to learn more about your
culture and history.
Furd: As would we all, I think.
Zenador: And I don't think we'd mind shore leave in general, after the
past few weeks.
Kabeta: Very true, Commander. Praetor, we accept your offer with pleasure.
We will beam back up to the _Heisenberg_ to inform the rest of the crew
of the plan, and we will be back ere long.
Tomalok: We will await your arrival. But, Captain, might I request that
you remain behind a few moments? I have a matter I would like to discuss
with you.
Kabeta (a little puzzled): Certainly, Praetor. [to her crew] You go
on ahead. I'll be there shortly. And Lt. maya, I expect you to go directly
to sickbay and see Dr. Hertzman.
maya: Aye, Captain.
Furd (into communicator): Five to Croutonize, Lt. Lin-Elenuial. Dr.
Hertzman, stand by.
[The away team breaks down into its component Croutons. After they are
gone, the Praetor turns to Kabeta again.]
Tomalok: I will get straight to the point, Captain. Your efforts, and
those of your crew, have once again saved us from disaster. You have shown
such efforts before, during the Lucky Charm invasion. And then you risked
all to travel back in time to avert the Rancher plot to destroy the Alliance
by altering its past. For these earlier efforts, we decided about a year
ago to present you with this. [He takes a medal out of a pocket somewhere.]
Unfortunately, due to various inconveniences, we have been unable to give
it to you until now; this does, though, give us the chance to honor your
most recent accomplishments too. For your valor and willingness to risk
life and safety for the Romulan Empire, Captain Kabeta, we award you the
Romulan League of Honor.
[He presents the medal to her. Kabeta is totally surprised. She allows
Torbog to pin the medal on her uniform, all the while trying to find
something to say in response.]
Kabeta: Once again, I find myself at a loss for words. Thank you, Praetor.
This is an honor I will wear with pride and gratitude. [pause] It is
made all the more significant by the fact that, of all the successes I have
had in Star Fleet, my role in creating and solidifying the Alliance is
the one I value most. [She is showing rather more emotion than usual,
and it is clear that this sentiment is genuine.]
Torbog: Congratulations, Captain. Wear the honor well.
Kabeta: Thank you, Captain. I hope I shall.
Torbog: And Captain -- I was wondering. When you and your crew return
here for your visit, may I have the honor of showing you the sights of
Remus?
[Torbog is grinning as he says this, the Praetor smiles, and Kabeta laughs.]
Kabeta: Of course, Captain. I would like that very much. [taps
communicator] Ready to Croutonize, Lt. Lin-Elenuial. [to Torbog] See
you in a few minutes....
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