==================================
Star Trek:  The Crouton Generation
Season 4, Pack 5
==================================

Date: Thu, 20 Jun 91 12:11:44 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG  "I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can"


"Let us endeavor to live so that when we die, even the undertaker will be sad."
                                --Mark Twain

[Exterior, _Croutonprize_.  It is facing Sol, obviously in a close orbit.  We
 move back slowly to see a myriad of ships hanging back a respectful distance:
 most notably an entire Klingon Battle Group and a Romulan Honor Wing.]

[Interior, _Croutonprize_ forward torpedo bay.  The people present read like a
 "Who's who" of the Federation; the room is very crowded.  A casket draped with
 a United Federation of Planets/Starfleet Command flag and a French flag is
 being lowered into the launching bay.  Crossfire and Highlander remove the
 flags and fold them; Highlander hands the UFP flag to Picard's nephew, Rene
 Picard, and Crossfire keeps the French flag.
Crouton, who is almost overwhelmed with emotion, opens his mouth to speak, but
 nothing comes out.  He tries again, then looks desperately to Data.]
Data [quietly]:  In accordance with the traditions that he revered, we commit
     the body of Jean-Luc Picard to the fires of the sun.
Highlander [thickly]:  Honors HUP.
[The officers assembled come to attention.]

[Exterior, _Croutonprize_.  We see a single projectile fired from the ship,
 and it streaks toward the sun.]

* * * * * * * * * * *

Star Trek:  The Crouton Generation--

"I'm Dancing as Fast as I Can"

Guest stars Brent Spiner as Vice Admiral Data
            Katherine Hepburn as Earth Ambassador Kennedy
            Danny DeVito as Tellarite Ambassador Torv
            James Earl Jones as the Federation President
            Andreas Katsulas as Praetor Tomalok
            Arnold Schwarzenegger as the Klingon Emperor
            Kevin Costner as Rene Picard

Special Guest Appearance by Patrick Stewart as Jean-Luc Picard

Incidental Music by Maurice Jarre

Produced and Directed by Kevin Costner

* * * * * * * * * * *

[Interior, _Croutonprize_ 10-Forward lounge.  All the people are gathered for
 Picard's wake, and we move across the sea of faces, seeing Rene Picard,
 Ambassador Torv, then other representatives from the Federation Grand
 Alliance, including the entire Klingon High council.  We move in to see
 Crossfire shaking hands with the Federation President and speaking with
 Praetor Tomalok and the Klingon Emperor.]
Crossfire:  Thank you, Mr. President.
Emperor:  Picard was an honorable man.  [A beat.]  His contributions to the
     Klingon Empire were without measure.  He will always be remembered among
     my people.
Tomalok [Thoughtfully]:  A galaxy without Picard scarcely bears thinking of.
     [He smiles a little.]  Now I'll have to find someone else to challenge me.
[Tomalok's smile fades. He shakes his head, nods once more to Crossfire and
 the President and Emperor, and then disappears into the crowd.  After an
 uncomfortable moment of silence, the President and the Emperor leave, too. 
 Ambassador Kennedy comes up and takes Crossfire's hand.]
Kennedy:  How are you doing, kiddo?
Crossfire [bewildered]:  Okay.  But if someone tells me they're sorry
     one more time I don't know what I'll do.  This is really...weird.
[Kennedy glances around and spots Ambassador Torv trying to maneuver himself
 closer to Crossfire.]
Kennedy:  Uh-oh...
[Kennedy tries to steer Crossfire away from the Tellarite, but is
 unsuccessful.]
Torv [glaring at Kennedy]:  Crossfire.
Crossfire:  Ambassador.
[Torv looks suddenly uncomfortable.  Then he speaks softly and with as much
 politeness as his race has to offer.]
Torv:  We will miss him, too.
[Then Torv turns and leaves, demonstrating a discression that far exceeds his
 usual self.]
Kennedy [watching Torv leave with amusement]:  That can't have been Torv.  He's
     been replaced with a Pod Person.
Crossfire [suddenly]:  I need to get out of here.
[Crossfire exits, being barraged with "I'm sorry"'s on his way out.  Kennedy
 watches, concerned.]

[Interior, _Croutonprize_ observation lounge.  Crouton, Data, Crossfire, and
 Kennedy are all present, sitting in the lounging chairs somewhat tensely.
 Both Crouton and Crossfire look very tired.  Kennedy is staring out at the
 stars.  Data looks calm as always, but he is still very quiet, respecting the
 humans' desire not to talk.
Enter Admiral Avenger.  He is very rumpled-looking and hunched over.  His eyes
 are red, and his hair is unkempt.  He is carrying an old-fashioned briefcase
 in one hand and a bottle of Dr. Pepper in the other.  He looks distractedly
 about the room.]
Avenger [mumbling]:  Sorry I'm late.
Crouton:  Let's get this over with, then.
[They all take seats at the briefing table.]
Avenger [after a beat]:  I didn't want to do this, but Picard named me executor
     of his will.  Most of his estate went to his family, but you are all
     named in the will, too, and that's why you're here now.
[There is a pause.  Everyone (except date who is rather oblivious) is looking
 at something else.  Kennedy looks close to tears.]
Avenger:  Well.  Uh...
[He sits and opens the briefcase.  He takes out a large envelope, and extracts
 from it a single sheet of paper.  He clears his throat.]
Avenger:  I'm only going to read the relevant section of the will, since
     the disposal of the majority of his estate won't be...of...much...interest
     to us.
[A beat.]
Avenger [reading]:

I, Jean-Luc Picard, do hereby offer my last will and testament to be read to
the aforementioned people.

Please allow me to say that I loved each and every one of you.  You were all
another family for me.  Always remember me in your hearts and in your deeds,
and know that I will never forget you.

To Captain Christopher P. Crouton, I leave my personal transport, the _Jenice
Manheim_.  Take care of her, Chris.  She is a stalwart vessel worthy of your
captainship.

To Katherine Kennedy I leave my affection and friendship, and my lithographs
of Monet's "Water Lilly" paintings.  I know that they will rest your soul as
they have mine.

To Data, my oldest and best friend, I leave my well-weathered library.  Read
them well, my friend, because within those dusty old volumes lies the human
experience.  I think that if you look carefully, they will point you down
your own path.

Finally, to Crossfire, I leave my personal recorded farewell and a single book,
_Le Petit Prince_.  Read it carefully, especially the ending, so that all the
stars will ring with laughter for you.

And for all of you, take my hope that your lives will be as full as mine has
been.  Farewell.

[Avenger puts down the will.  Kennedy is crying briefly, and Crouton has tears
 in his eyes as well.  Even Data isn't unaffected:  he too looks sad.
 Crossfire is simply staring blankly at the table.
Avenger clears his throat, shaking off the emotions that have hold of him, and
 walks over to Crossfire and holds out a book and a memory chip to him.  When
 Crossfire makes to move to take them, Avenger sets them down on the table in
 front of him.  Avenger moves back to the head of the table and replaces the
 will in his briefcase.]
Avenger [quietly]:  Chris, the _Manheim_ is docked here.  We can let it take
     the place of the Captain's Yacht on the _Croutonprize_.  [He takes a drink
     of Dr. Pepper, trying to still the tremor in his voice.]  Data, Katherine,
     you can pick up your...the things he left you after his estate has been
     dissolved.  [He looks at Crossfire.]  Um...
[Suddenly Avenger grabs his briefcase and runs from the room, almost bumping
 into the doors which are still opening as he dashes through.
After a pause, Crossfire gets up and starts to leave.  Then he turns back and
 picks up the book and memory chip, and exits.
A beat.]
Data:  How is Commander Crossfire?
Crouton [wiping a tear]:  He's not taking this very well.  I've ordered him
     into counseling sessions with Counselor Neon but they're not making any
     progress.
Kennedy [smiling a little]:  I'll bet the little creep just sits there and
     answers Neon's questions with "Yes" and "No."
Crouton [also smiling a little]:  Actually, he does.  I could order him to be
     more...cooperative, I guess, but I don't think it would do any good.
Kennedy:  He'll work it out eventually.  Everyone does, sooner or later.  I
     think he's just afraid of being alone, and he's holding onto his grief
     to keep the loneliness at bay.
Data:  While I do not understand his feelings, I can sympathize with him.
     I will...miss...Jean-Luc.  [A pause.]  Very much.
Kennedy [taking Data's hand]:  We all will, Data.  We all will.

[Interior, Crossfire's quarters.  Crossfire enters and sits at his desk.  He
 opens the book Picard left him, reading it briefly, and then places it back
 on the desk.  He looks at the chip, and then after a moment plays it.
 The screen lights up to show Picard's face, which smiles.]

Hello.  No doubt you are watching this because I have died.  I wanted to say
a personal goodbye to you because you deserve nothing less.  I know that you
must be feeling very bad, Crossfire, and I want you to know that I understand.
But you must go on living.  Don't be afraid to let go, Crossfire.  Letting go
doesn't mean you'll forget about me.  It just means that you will stop feeling
pain.  I won't have it any other way.

You are still young, but I want to tell you something I discovered.  It
probably won't mean anything to you; I think everyone has to discover this for
himself.  But I'm going to tell you anyway, so that you can have a head start.

I'm going to tell you the secret to life.  Ready?

The secret to life is to see with the heart, because what is essential to
living is invisible to the eye.

That is all I wanted to say, I think.  Oh, and Crossfire...don't do anything
stupid.

[The image blinks off.  Crossfire is smiling a little, and then, for the first
 time since Picard's death, he puts his head in his hands and starts to cry.]

* * * * * * * * * * *

[Interior, Ready Room.  Crouton, Highlander, Neon, and Crossfire are all
 present; Crossfire is pacing the room, the others are sitting.]
Crouton:  Okay, Crossfire.  We're all here now.  What did you want to tell us?
Crossfire [taking a breath]:  I've decided to stay with Starfleet.
Highlander [quietly]:  Yay for our team.
[Neon glares furiously at Highlander; Crossfire does not seem to notice the
 comment.]
Neon [in a very counseling voice]:  What made you decide this, Commander?
Crossfire:  Oh, stop it already.
[Neon looks at Crouton with a "What did I say?" look on his face.]
Crouton:  Well, this is good news.  I trust you destroyed the papers Admiral
     Avenger gave you?
Crossfire:  No.  I'm going to use them.
Highlander:  WHAT?  I thought you were going to stay with Starfleet!
Crossfire:  I am.  But...I can't stand it here, right now.  I've got to get
     out.
Crouton:  What are you talking about?
Crossfire:  I've asked Admiral Avenger for a leave of absence, and he granted
     it.
Crouton [shaking his head]:  No.  We won't let you go.  *I* won't let you go.
Crossfire [smiling ruefully at Crouton]:  You don't have a choice, captain.
     If you won't agree to it, Avenger will transfer me out of your command.
     I don't want to do that, but...either way, I'm going.
Crouton [after a beat]:  Well, it looks like I don't have a choice.
neon:  Well, if you think this is what you want to do, then you should go ahead
     and do it.
Highlander:  I disagree.  Running away never helps.
Crossfire [a little angry]:  I'm not running away.
[He moves to look at the aquarium.  A pause.]
Crouton:  Perhaps not...but when are you going to deal with this?
[Crossfire turns to face Crouton.]
Crossfire:  Captain, I'm dancing as fast as I can.
[Crossfire turns to leave.  As he reaches the door:]
Highlander:  Where will you go?
Crossfire [pausing]:  I don't know.  [He turns his head to look at Highlander.]
     I don't really care.
[He exits.]

[Exterior, _Croutonprize_.  It is still in orbit around Earth, and we move back
 slowly to see the sun, too.  While this is going on, we hear Picard's voice
 reading:]

     "I'm going to give you a present," said the little prince.
     "All I want is to hear you laugh again," said the pilot.
     "You will hear me laugh, more than you ever did before.  You see, I am
going home.  But the journey is much too far for me to take this body with me,
so I'm going to leave it behind like an old empty shell.  And there's nothing
sad about empty shells, are there?"
     "No," said the pilot softly.
     "My star is so small that I can't show you which one of the stars in the
sky it is.  But you will know that on one of those stars I'll be living, and
on one of those stars I'll be laughing.  But since you won't know which star
I'm on, all of the stars will laugh for you.  The sky will be a chorus of
laughter, and the night will be beautiful."

[Fade to black.]

----------------------------------------------------------------------

On the Admiral's next exciting episode of

               STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION:
			  "Chi a Pet"

Captain Chow decides it's time to get some pets of his own.
Chow:  Hey, if hj can have a wolf, I think I'm entitled!

But will Commander Larkin's advice be for the birds?
Chow:  Parakeets.  I like that.

But how will the _Chivalier_ crew react when they discover there is more
to these birds than meets the eye?
Simon:  Admiral!
Garfunkle:  Admiral!
Simon & Garfunkle:  Admiral!  Admiral!

KHANDESCENDING PET CARE on STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION!