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The Crouton Generation Archives
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Star Trek: The Crouton Generation
Season 4, pack #6.
==================================
From: midzor@tramp (Eric Moore AKA Fizzix Dude)
Subject: Next on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
Date: Mon, 3 Jun 91 14:20:21 MDT
WE CAN ONLY HOPE!
After contracting epileptic typewriteritis, half japanese finds it difficult
to fulfill her duties by inundating the Croutons with dull episodes. Will
the ship's doctor succeed in finding a cure, or will the crew do everything
in their power to sabotage the lab work and prevent hj from ever again posting
episodes? Find out on the next "Star Trek: The I've-had-enough-of-this-
whining-and-crying-crud-about-dysfunctional-fingers-on-the-computer-keyboard-
while-writing-boring-Star-Trek-The-Crouton-Generation-episodes Generation"!
--
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Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 11:39:49 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG *warning:short episode*
On the NEXT exciting episode of Star Trek the Crouton Generation...
"The Silence of a Captain"
Adm. Avenger attempts to prevent half japanese from writing zillions of
episodes by locking her in a room with old computers but no access to
federation communication. BUT, unbeknownst to the Admiral, Captain half
japanese, an antiques collector, has in her possession disks to these
computers so she can force them to login to a system compatable with the
comunication system of the federation. Will the Croutons be bombarded by
episodes??? Will they survive this assault??? Will half japanese find someone
to talk to??? Find out in the next stimulating episode os Star Trek the
Crouton Generation
--------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 12:02:17 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG *more shorts...*
On the FOLLOWING exciting episode of Star Trek the Crouton Generation:
"Please Don't Feed the Captain"
In addition to locking Captain half japanese in an unsed computer room, the
Admiral has ordered that the Captain should NOT be sent food. As hj's gets
hungrier and hungrier, the growling of her stomach gets louder and louder.
Will the growling of her stomach announce her presence to passers by??? Will
they take pity on her and free her??? If hj leaves the room, how many push
ups will the Admiral make her do???? Followed by how many sit-ups???? Will he
make the captain run a few miles???? Back to hj's severe hungerpains, will
they interfere with the Captain's abilities to write episodes at all???? Or
will she continue to write non-sensical episodes like telephones???? Will half
japanese learn how to be a starving college student???? Find out on the next
episode, as Captain half japanese scrounges for crums to survive...
-------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 12:12:05 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG *yet another short one* HAHA!
on exciting episode after the last episode of Star Trek the Crouton
Generation:
"Frozen In"
Captain half japanese realizes that she forgot to mention that she was not
only locked up in a room, starved and bored out of her skull, but also that
the room was kept at sub freezing temperatures. Will it be the chattering of
half japanese's teeth and not the grumbling of her stomach that alerts others
to her presence???? Will her hands turn blue and get so frozen that half
japanese won't be able to type???? Is that what the Admiral wanted all
along??? Will hj have to resort to typing with her tongue??? You won't want to
miss the NEXT episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation
---------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 12:30:27 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG *short, what'd you expect*
On the newest episode of Star Trek:The Crouton Generation:
"A Twist of Fate"
As half japanese contemplates her predicament, she gets more and more
confused. Is this simply because she is so completely unused to thinking??? Or
perhaps because of her lack of food??? NO no no, nothing like that. She is
baffled because she doesn't think the Admiral woule be that cruel to her, even
if her episodes do cause misery for many of the Croutons. Perhaps it wasn't
really the Admiral but...
The door to the room opens, someone walks in looking like the Admiral, but
half japanese notices that it's only a mask. Who is wearing the mask??? Is
this a practical joke played by a member of the crew of the _Subaru_???? Or is
it, yes, it must be, it's an attack by the Hidden Valley ranch Empire and a
gun is being pointed at hj as she types!!!! Will anyone come to her rescue or
will she be shot??? Find out alksdjflkjhdjkbkvslfk;igj eporg lkjfl;kjfa;lgkadj
8c94bxoi05,mvutrkj3kj;faldyhutqpibjlkdaiojuwhajtrk;fj;klg
------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 1991 10:55 MST
From: ALLEN_MK@bronze.Colorado.EDU
Subject: st:tLg (short)
NEXT TIME ON STAR TREK
THE LUSER GENERATION
In her nightmares, (no doubt caused by hj's many episodes about the room full
of computers) Counselor Eliana finds herself locked in a room, also full of
computers, where she is forced to hand out disk after disk to luser after
luser. All the lusers have some sort of complaint which they expect her to
remedy, and being the patient sort of Counselor she is, she tries to listen
to each and every one of them, though deep down all she wants to do is scream
and close the lab and toss them all out on the streets. Especially when they
ask, "Do you have a stapler?" Suddenly thousands of giggling pre-freshmen
swarm through the lab, and force her to count all the computers there. As
she counts, the room grows larger and larger and larger, and there
are more and more computers. She tries and tries to wake up, but all she can
do is count--5,345.78832; 5,345.78833...
AAAAAAAAAAIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!
Will she ever wake up? Or will she realize that her idyllic life aboard the
Melbourne was all a dream and this room is all there is to real life? Find
out on the next exciting episode as Eliana counts on survival!!
----------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 1991 11:12 MST
From: ALLEN_MK@bronze.Colorado.EDU
Subject: st:tHg (short)
Next time on:
STAR TREK:
THE HICCUP GENERATION
As Eliana continues to count those computers, she discovers that one of the
giggly pre-freshmen is actually a Hidden Valley Rancher in disguise, who has
come to inject Eliana with a strain of the dreaded hiccup virus. Now, Eliana
forgets to count those computers, but is running around in search of a
water fountain. But, strangely enough, there IS NO WATER HERE!! The HVR
replaced the H20 with 03X (merely a more violent strain of the dreaded hiccup
virus!). The giggling freshmen clamour round Eliana and drag her back to the
computers. "COUNT" they cry, "COUNT COUNT COUNT!"
63,29HIC8.734HIC62; 6HIC3,298HIC.734HICwherewasI58...
Stay tuned for HIC the neHICxt excitiHICng epHICisode where EliHICana barely
HIC surHICvives!HIC
-----------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 11:18:44 -0600
From: midzor@tramp (Eric Moore AKA Fizzix Dude)
Subject: STAR TREK
On the next episode of "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation".....
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH OF THIS!
Captain Half Japanese (You see? I capitalized your name. So there, nyeaah!)
is becoming a pain in the writing episodes about her
environmental controls in her quarters. For crimony sakes,
will someone PLEASE shut off her oxygen supply and let her asphyxiate in
peace? Anyone??!!!! Perhaps she'll just freeze to death. (Hah! that would
be giving us the cold shoulder!) Perhaps she'll die from a shear lack of
anything to do. (After all that typing, she must be very key-bored!) Or,
she could die of loneliness from being the only person who ever posts any
episodes any more. (What you might call a severe case of writer's bloc!)
Find out on the next episode of "Star Trek: The Punster Generation"!
(Nothing personal meant by this. I'm bored with junk and decided to try
stirring up the anthill a bit!)
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Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 16:03:51 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Chi's Balls"
Counselor Tracy looses his juggling balls, and while searching through the
ship for suitable replacements he finds and adopts Captain Chow's collection
of autographed baseballs. Buuuuuuut Captian Chow is not pleased, and demands
that Tracy return his balls to their display case or suffer dire consequences.
Captain Chow chases the errant counselor around as Tracy struggles to juggle
SOMEone's balls on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Crouton
Generation!
---------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 16:12:54 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Queue & Answer"
Next time, on an All-New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Queue & Answer"
The Evil Queue returns to bother the crew of the Croutonprize and this time
he captures the senior officers and beams them through the VAXF replicator,
making four duplicates of each! How will the different aspects of ChrisP's
personality be able to deal with each other? Will there be enough Pounce
to feed four Jez the Wonder Kitties? Will Highlander get mad at himself
and use his katanas? Schitzophrenia runs rampant as Counselor Neon tries
to resolve personality conflicts on the next exciting episode of Star
Trek: The Crouton Generation!
---------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 16:19:40 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Here's Junk in Your Eye!"
Next time, on an All-New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Here's Junk in Your Eye!"
Counselor Neon manages to reconcile the copies of the senior officers of
the Croutonprize's Bridge Crew, buuuuut then the Evil Queue decides to
connect VAXF with the Federation's InterNet! Will everyone get four
copies of each junk mail message? Or will it just be the people on
CUBLDR? How long will it take the Yoyoboquians to figure this one out?
Will Zen go batty trying to prevent multiple messages? Junk Mail runs
amok on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation!
------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 16:23:53 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Amok Junk"
Next time, on an All-New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Amok Junk"
After the Queue infects Federation InterNet with the VAXF duplicator, Admirals
Avenger and Bradford make an appeal to the all-powerful INS for repairs.
Buuuuuut the evil Romulan Traitor Barbara Davis intercepts the message
and beams it into orbit around Nurendra III. Will the Junkers ever get
their mail fixed? Will Avenger pull out all his hair worrying about the
multiple messages? How long will it take Jez the Wonder Kitty to discover
Davis' mischief, or will he have to knock off for dinner, a quick romp
around the ship, and a nap? Junk Mail begins to wear a little thin as the
crew fights to survive on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The
Crouton Generation!
------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 16:33:09 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Creative Juices"
Next time, on an All-New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Creative Juices"
Captain hALF jAPANESE acquires a supply of the valuable Creative Juice
Concentrate, but doesn't read the instructions for reconstitution and drinks
triple potency Creative Juice. As the Juice courses through her veins she
is compelled to post multitudes of short TCG episodes. Buuuuuuut then
Fizzix Dude discovers the problem and alerts the authorities. Will hj be
refuse the police's breathalyzer test, or will she be arrested for Writing
While Under the Influence? Will the crew of the Subaru be able to raise
enough bail money? Will ensigns Quixote and Sancho Panza try to rescue
their fair Dulcinea from prison? And who will remember to feed Skywise?
Frozen concentrates ruin a promising career as the Croutons fight to
imbibe on the next exciting episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation!
------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 4 Jun 91 19:24:10 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG *haha*
on the next stimulating episode
"Answers Unquestioned"
Was half japanese killed by the Hidden Valley Ranch Empire in her last
episode??? Or was this like the *LAST* time she got "killed"??? When she
returns this time, who will be her victim???? Will it be another music
director??? or someone else???Will it be YOU???? find out next time as people
run to escape the wrath of half japanese
--------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 11:45:24 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: my first (short) episode
"The Child"
The Elements stood around the Romulan child. One said: "The child must
have a name!" Another said: "But what name? There are so many." At that moment
the melodious voice of a small bird was heard. The sound soothed the rattled
nerves of the Elements. All of a sudden one Element shouted: "I've go it!
I've got it! I have a name!" They all "Shhhhh!!" him because he would wake the
child. "I'm sorry he said, but my idea for a name is Aedoni. In some obscure
language (I'm not sure which), that is the name of that singing bird." All
the Elements agreed that it was a beutiful name for the girl child, and that
she would be happy with it.
---------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 12:29:25 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG
"It's worse than that, it's fizix teachers, Jim"
Before the Romulan Aedoni gets her assignment, she must first serve as T.A.
(teaching assitant) for a group of fizix teachers who come to check out the
new fizix equipment for possible use in their schools! Will she ever get all
the labs set up in time?? Will the teachers stop asking her stupid
questions?? Will someone *ever* explain to her the new software so she can
explain it to the teachers???? Will she ever get a break, or will she be stuck
peeling carrots for their afternoon break, if they ever take a break????? Is
there anyone out there who will save her???? (please,please) All this phun
fizix and more on the next episode of STAR TREK: THE CONFUSING GENERATION....
---------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 12:48:01 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg *short*
On the next exciting episode....
"A Change of Plans"
The Big Dick comes back for another swipe at the _Subaru_...
ALF: (to the tune of "They're coming to take me away"
I'm coming to take you away, Crotons
I'm coming to take you away, Crotons-tons-tons
To my happy home, where life is beautiful all the time,
And I'll be happy to see your nice warm blood, as it oozes out and
dyes the floor and leaks all over the place as I scrape off your skin and let
it heal and scrape off some more (drooling with evil laughter)
Who will be the first to say: "Ow! That really smarts!!!"??????
Will ALF ever learn how to write songs???Or more importantly how to sing????
Who will get tortured the most???? And how many times will Captain half
japanese say "Chuk'sho!!"??? What the hell does that mean anyway???? The
answers to those questions and many others that you wouldn't think or care to
ask will be answered on the next episode of Star Trek: The Torturers
Generation
--------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 13:28:47 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG
"Fizix Hell"
Aedoni is still stuck dealing with fizix teachers. This is not turning
out to be phun! Why are they still here? Why are they asking stupider
questions than she did when she took the class???? Will she have enough time
to set up the labs for tomorrow and still make it in time to the Laws'
picnic???? Will she ever survive this week???? Will she ever get to write
to Ensign Shawn Mount who still doesn't have a station, but does have an
address??? Come to think of it, will the ensign *ever* get a post??? Will he
return in time to read all his e-mail, or will it all clog up the system so
that hj can't send anymore episodes???
All this and more in the next exciting episode of
STAR TREK: THE CONDUNDRUM GENERATION
p.s. condumdrum *is* a word, isn't it?
----------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 13:40:48 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
"Fizix Hell part 2"
Aedoni is *still* stuck dealing with fizix teachers. They are now working
with motion detectors, carts and ramps. Will the teachers get bored??? Will
their minds go plank??? Or will they continue till time and the carts run
out???? All this and more in the next installment of Star Trek: The
exCrutiating Generation.......
--------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 14:41:36 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
"Fizix (not so) Hell" part 3
Aedoni finally gets a break! For a few minutes she can sit down and
write episodes with out being told to get to work! Will she have enough time
to do so??? Or will the teachers come back and hassle her some more?? Will
she have enough time to go to the financial aid office and beg them for
money??? Or will her training at the Acadamy stop here??? All these
questions and more will not be answered in the next installment of...
Star Trek: The Nil-Amount-of-Time Generation
-------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 14:00:28 MDT
From: 803690@ccvax2.span.ucar.edu
Subject: ST:TCG (*extremely short*)
On the next...etc.
THE LOST EPISODE
--------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 16:05:56 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
"Fizix Hell" part 4
Aedoni is now stuck trying to find glass tubing, plexiglass dishes,
and play doh(tm) for the teachers! Will she ever find it??? Will she ever
escape from the dimentionally transindental store room??? Who/what will she
encounter in there??? Will she have to tie a sting to the door knob and
unravel it as she goes??? If/when she does find the equipment, will she be
able to carry it all out, or will the Minatorus stop her??? All this, and
hopefully a break in the next exciting adventure of...
Star Trek: The Creative Generation
--------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 16:29:15 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: sttcg *uh-oh*
on the next thrilling episode
"Yet Another Challenger"
With Aedoni starting to write many episodes, will half japanese feel the need
to keep producing episodes in order to prevent falling behind the Ensign???
Or will she not bother, considering that she is expecting a secret mission
next year that absolutely no one including herself knows about???? Did the
other Croutons abandon ship so they wouldn't have to read all these
episodes???? Find out next time as the Croutons flee to survive
-----------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 16:29:54 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: the lost episode? even I wouldn't do one like that!
on the next episode...
"Title"
------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 16:57:00 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
on the next intense episode
"Consultant Hell"
Aedoni is finally off work!!!(Hurrah!!) But is feeling very vindictive....
Will she track down hj??? Will she ask her many and meaning-less consultant
like questions??? Will hj go mad just as Aedoni did in the fizix lab???
Will hj kill her before she has even appeared in an episode??? Find out on
the next installment of...
Star Trek: The Consultant Generation
----------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 1991 15:57 MST
From: ALLEN_MK@bronze.Colorado.EDU
Subject: st:tLg (SHORT)
Next, on an all new Star Trek adventure:
Where in the Heck are We?
Tune in as hj and her faithful crew get so absorbed in reading Hemingway that,
when she finally looks up from THE SUN ALSO RISES and peers out the porthole,
hj exclaims, "Hold on! I don't remember that giant asteroid on the right!
We must have taken a wrong turn!"
Don't miss out on the next exciting episode of
STAR TREK
THE LOST GENERATION
----------------------------------------
From: midzor@tramp (FIZZIX DUDE)
Subject: ST:TCG (short)
Date: Wed, 5 Jun 91 16:20:50 MDT
Next...on "Star Trek: The Crouton Generation"
"Hairy Kerri"
Exposure to a mysterious form of radiation causes Captain half japanese
to begin growing a beard. The ship's doctor desperately searches for a
way to curb the whiskery growth, but time is running short. Will a cure
be found, or will half japanese find herself alienated by the rest of her
crew. (And will the beard help keep her warm in her frigid quarters?)
Find out on the next "Star Trek: The Twelve O'clock Shadow Generation"!
--
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-------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 6 Jun 91 9:34:43 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
On the next thrilling episode.....
"Fizix Hell" part 5
Aedoni has had just about enough. But luckily her T.A.ing job is almost
over! She has just another week to just sit around, and prepare for her job
in July. Will she survive another trip to the "Never Ending Closet"??? Will
the fizix teachers drive her crazy??? Will she kill her roommate, who is an
idiot, and never make it to July because she'll be in jail??? On the other
hand, will she take her agressions out on hj??? Will hj make her do push-ups
for even thinking of bothering her??? Find out next time on....
Star Trek: The Revengeful Generation
--------------------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 6 Jun 91 10:13:51 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: sttcg
On the next episode of star trek the crouton generation
"sux to be you"
Captain half japanese is so bored she decides to pick on various ensigns to
ensure they are disciplined properly ("Get 'em while they're young") Will
Ensign Aedoni be so annoyed by Capt. hj's constant messages and reminders
, that she desides early retirement is the way to go??? Will hj write her
resignation for her???? Or just hand her the pre written retirement form
letter ("I tried I hate it consider me gone")???? And will Aedoni EVER
respond to the Captain??? Find out next time on Star Trek: The Bothersome
Generation
------------------------------
Date: Thu, 6 Jun 91 10:48:39 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:TCG
On the next stimulating episode...
"Computer Daze"
Heian needs to be shut down for minor repairs. Will the _Subaru_ lose all
contact with the rest of starfleet???? Will this prevent half japanese from
writing multitudes of episodes???? Or will she find another way to annoy the
multitudes of Croutons???? Will she ever write long episodes again???? What
will be the most major plot complication??? Will it involve the repairs of
Heian??? Will he be able to write haiku again???? Was he ever really able to
write it before???? Find out next time on an exciting episode of Star Trek:
The Repair Generation
-------------------------------------
Date: Thu, 6 Jun 91 15:58:17 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG
On the next episode that you wouldn't have to read if I got more mail and
weren't stuck in this room for 7 hrs.:
"sdrawkcaB"
.noitareneG sdrawkcaB ehT: kerT ratS no emit txen tuo dnif ????srorrim deen
lliw meht fo ynam woH ????edosipe siht daer snotuorc eht lliW ???segassem
s'retupmoc rieht rehpiced ot elba eb spihs evitcepsereht fo swerc eht lliW
.sdrawkcab gnihtyreve gnitirw trats nosaer on rof ulneddus sretupmoc llA
-------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 7 Jun 91 13:50:07 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: gct:ts
2 trap "sdrawkcaB"
sdrawkcab ni kcuts era sretupmoc eht llA...erutnevda gniticxe txen eht nO
nosnikciD tsuj si rO ???wnod tuhs noohpyt eht fo tluaf eht ti sI .edom
???thgiarts tes eb *reve* sretupmoc eht lliW ???detceffa liam
:no emit txen ni enuT
noitareneG sdrawkcaB ehT:kerT ratS
------------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 7 Jun 91 14:36:22 EDT
From: David Charles Fox
Subject: 3 traP, sdrawkcaB
Status: R
sti tub ,hcus sa gniticxe ton ebyam llew) edosipe gniticxe txen eht nO
...(!lla ta liam yna gnitteg eb ot dalg eb dluohs uoY .remmus
sa llew sa sdrawkcab yltneulf hsilgnE daer ot nrael ot sediced xoF .tL
yllacitamotua lliw hcihw rotalume 001tv a etirw ot strats dna ,sdrawrof
no emit sih lla etsaw eh lliW .ecitcarp nac eh os ,gnihtyreve esrever
ezilae yllanif eh lliw ro ???kcap ot emit evah ton dna ksat yllis siht
gniob gniob ni ytivitcejbo esioprop lufesu yna ton hsif si ereht taht
...yteperipa niotmisin rudabega gnifisoy esnesnon noitaicossa eerf
Enquiring minds will actually take the ridiculous trouble to read it
and find out.
DCF
------------------------------------
Date: Fri, 7 Jun 91 16:34:56 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
"Double, Double"
Aedoni is done her work for the day and has decided to check her mail. she
sees that all her messages come to her doubled. Does this mean that the
messges are multiplying??? Or is this just a factor of the typhoon shut
down?? Could it be that the double is just the aftermath of the backwards
messages?? To find out, tune in next time on....
Star Trek: The Doubling Generation
---------------------------------------------------
Date: Sun, 9 Jun 91 12:01:24 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
I told you it was coming hj......
The next time on St:tcg....
"National Croutographic"
Aedoni stops in to visit hj while she is working hard to give her a break.
She realizes that hj has gone mad, because she is playing the theme to
National Geographic on her cheek, with her mouth open to make a hollow
sound. Will this become an epidemic??? Will hj spread her infatuation for
this theme to all her crew??? Will other ships be affected???? Will the
Ranchers be able to hear the deafing sound of the whole Crouton fleet slaping
themselves to this theme??? Will the Ranchers finally give up because they
consider all the Croutons crazy??? Tune in next time on....
Star Trek: The Crouton Generation
------------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 91 13:13:01 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG
On the next thrilling episode...
"Can't Wait"
Why can't half japanese wait to write more episodes??? Has anyone wondered if
maybe the Captain is actually an agent for the Hidden Valley Ranch empire who
is using her to write so many episodes that the Croutons go totally insane
which would place the Hidden Valley Ranch empire in the perfect position for
a total takeover of the Universe???? That not being the case, will half
japanese be cured of her addiction to writing far too many episodes, or at
least to not write in long unstructured sentences that just ramble on and on
and on and on and on and on until someone screams???
someone: SCREAM!
Find out next time as half japanese writes to survive
-------------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 91 15:26:49 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)"
RUSSELLK%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
on the next episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation:
"Come Back to ze Islands"
Captain half japanese seems to have started a Jamaican trend that is being
imatated by all Croutons. Will this barrage of bad accecnts over the computer
ever end??? Will each shipboard computer pick up on the new accents???
Harry: Ja! Holy Cow, mon! It'z eh home run!
Zen: Ja. Ja. Ja.
Heian: Wis a little rum/we'll make 'em ...hum/and will be jaman, mon!
Will this trend continue??? Will the Croutons go insane???? Find out next
time on Star Trek: The Cultural Generation
---------------------------------
Date: Wed, 12 Jun 91 13:40:05 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Talking to Herself"
NeXT time, on an All-New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Talking to Herself"
Silence and boredom strikes the crew of the USS _Subaru_, and captain jalf
hapanese starts to wonder if anyone is listening to her orders to do pushups.
jh moves through her ship talking to herself (using a megaphone, of course),
only to discover that there's nobody there! Will jh discover that she's the
victim of another plot of the evil Romulan Traitor Barbara Davis, who is
also going to get a copy of this message? Will Jez the Konder Witty rescue
captain jalf hapanese, or will he just offer her some Pounce? And just who
is responsible for dimming the lights aboard the _Subaru_? Missy? Or is it
someone else? Find out on the next spoonerism-packed episode of tar STrek:
The Grouton Ceneration!
-----------------------------------
From: reidj@tramp.Colorado.EDU (Crossfire)
To: junk@typhoon.UCAR.EDU
Subject: ST:TCG "Party, AKAK Style"
Next time, on an All-New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Party, AKAK Style"
Crossfire and Icefalcon decide to throw a summertime party aboard the
_Croutonprize_...inviting a few friends, having a little music, you know,
the usual. Buuuut the evil Hidden Valley Ranchers crash the party and start
to cause all sorts of the usual problems. Will Crossfire have to escort
Commander Bloocheez to the door? Will Icefalcon have to treat Jez the Wonder
Kitty and AJ the Super Puppy for excessive alcohol and pounce consumption?
And will Missy be able to fix the lights in the basement? It's HVR intrigue
as the Croutons Fight to Party on the next exciting episode of Star Trek:
The Crouton Generation!
-----------------------------
Date: Thu, 13 Jun 91 19:08:06 edt
From: "The Gangster's Dame (Papazisis, Despina)"
PAPAZISI%DICKINSN.BITNET@EVANS.UCAR.EDU
Subject: st:tcg
On the next episode....
"Consultant Hell"
Aedoni is done with her stint with the fizix teachers, and has moved on to
computer consulting. She is presently helping a friend who is working. She
figures that this is good practice for when she officially becomes one.
But... will she survive the first 10 minutes??? Will the Lusers drive her so
crazy that she will decide to take back her application??? Will her (till
this point) remarkable patience finally wear out?? Tune in next time on...
Star Trek: The Consultant Generation
----------------------------------
Date: Tue, 25 Jun 91 15:21:13 -0400
From: ender2@husc.harvard.edu (Matt Ender)
Subject: STTCG short
Next time on Staaaaaaaaaaar Trek: The Crouton Generation
"Zombie Process"
In a desparate attempt to keep an 420 CPU-minute process alive,
_Croutonprize_ computer experts kill off an unneeded child process.
Unfortunately, that process had a child, now freed from the regular
restraints of command heirarchy by the death of its parent. The
zombie process stalks the system, using no cycles at all, but
scaring many otherwise healthy, normal processes to hangup signals.
Will Zortylwankoid be called in to dislodge the undead process?
Will all normal computer functions on the _Croutonprize_ shut down?
Will the creator of the process write a teaser episode based on
his experiences?
[Camera flashes to the face of Zortylwankoid, his face bathed in
the light from the monitor in the foreground.
Zortyl: "kill -9 (type type type). That's the best we've got."
His finger touches down on the keyboard once, presumably on the
CR / RETURN / ENTER / <-/ key. His facial expression changes
ever so slightly.
Zortyl: "It won't die..."]
FIND OUT NEXT TIME ON
STAR TREK:
THE CROUTON GENERATION
-------------------------------
From: s892024@minyos.xx.rmit.OZ.AU (Richard Muirden [GA])
Subject: ST:TCG4: "The return of Captain Flirt"
Date: Mon, 17 Jun 91 17:03:17 EST
Next time, on an all new episode...
"The return of Captain Flirt!"
Frustrated and devistated by his loss of Kerry, Captain Muirden is
once again taken over by the spirit of Captain Flirt, who died when
Captain Muirden decided to devote his love to Kerry Hoke. Now, with
Kerry gone, Captain Flirt has started to re-assert himself on Captain
Muirden! With Savan holed up in Engineering, Captain Muirden flirts
with Starfleet's new recruits who have not yet been assigned to
ships, in hopes of finding a female (or more) that will share his
cabin....
-----------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 18 Jun 91 14:15:20 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Lines for Daemon"
Next time, on an All New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Lines for Daemon"
After complaining about having very few lines in recent episodes, Runaway
Daemon decides to speak up and be heard more. He discusses such varied
topics as NoDoz Warp Fields, Transtator Improvements, and why Rice Krispies
make a crackling noise when you pour milk on them:
Crouton: Okay, Daemon, you wanted more lines. Talk.
Daemon: Certainly. Wolfgang Amadaeus Mozart had perfect pitch...
ENTHRALLING CONVERSATION on Star Trek: The Crouton Generation!
---------------------------------
Date: Tue, 18 Jun 91 16:59:36 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Macaroni and Chi's"
Next time, on an All New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Macaroni and Chi's"
Captain Chow's continuing obsesson with making the perfect cuilinary dishes
continues*, and this time he decides to find the ultimate pasta and cheese
dish. Will the crew of the _Sandberg_ continue to obey Chow's bizzarre
commands? Will Counselor Tracy be able to talk the captain into believing
that alfredo sauce is really just fine on capanelli? Or will Chow visit
the Earth's moon, acting on an ancient legend that it is made of bleu
cheese?
CUILINARY DISASTERS on Star Trek: The Crouton Generation!
*If you don't believe me, check out the episodes "Chi's Burger" and
"Chi's Cake".
--Ed.
---------------------------------------
Date: Tue, 18 Jun 91 17:05:12 -0600
From: reidj@tramp (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TCG "Chi's Souffle"
Next time, on an All New Episode of Star Trek: The Crouton Generation--
"Chi's Souffle"
After visiting the Earth's moon, captain Chow discovers its core is, in fact,
made of bleu cheese. He uses the resources of the _Chivalier_ to mine a
small amount of the delicious substance, and promptly sets about making
the Crouton Gourmet's recipie* for cheese souffle. Will Commander Carter
be able to get the _Chivalier_ back on duty? Will the sudden engaging of
the main engines cause Chi's souffle to fall? And just how many eggs are in
a cheese souffle, anyway?
GOURMET DISH PREPARATION TIPS on the next episode of Star Trek: The
Crouton Generation!!
*See "The Crouton Gourmet" for more information.
--Ed.
------------------------------------------
From: midzor@tramp.Colorado.EDU (Fizzix Dude)
Subject: ST:TCG
Date: Tue, 18 Jun 91 19:05:14 MDT
"The Wrath of DOS"
Disaster strikes when an alien probe reprograms Zen to work under an inept,
highly primitive operating system. Soon Messy-DOS scrambles all ship con-
trol programs so they no longer operate properly and cannot be located.
Zortyl tries desperately to stop the damage before Zen loses his ability to
do multitasking processing. Will he succeed, or will the crew be hopelessly
paralyzed when the replicators can only prduce one crouton at a time? ("Now,
now, don't be so testy! These things take time.") Find out on the next ex-
citing episode of "Star Trek: The 'Gosh-amorph, Zen! Don't delete that!'
Generation"!
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From: midzor@tramp (FIZZIX DUDE)
Subject: ST:TCG4 (short)
Date: Sat, 22 Jun 91 18:40:25 MDT
!"noitareneG 'man: command not found' ehT
:kerT ratS" fo edosipe wen-lla eht no tuo dniF ?sneercs rieht daer ot sror
-rim gnidloh elihw sdaeh rieht no dnats yeht sa ,skcen eros yllacinorhc morf
sreffus werc eht erofeb deeccus eh lliW .cer.arepo.paos.swen ni sgnitsop
tsetal eht dna ,liam-e ,segassem rorre fo esnes ekam ylisae nac werc eht os
edoc fo sgig fo sdnasuoht gnitcerroc fo ksat suoido eht htiw flesmih sdnif
lytroZ .redro enil esrever ni dna sdrawkcab tuptuo ytt lla yalpsid ot neZ
smargorper ylsuoicilam eduD xizziF nehw _ezirpnotuorC_ eht sekirts retsasiD
"sdrawroF si sdrawkcaB"
Or, if you'd rather not try making sense of that:
"Backwards is Forwards"
Disaster strikes the _Croutonprize_ when Fizzix Dude maliciously reprograms
Zen to display all tty output backwards and in reverse line order. Zortyl
finds himself in the odious task of correcting thousands of gigs of code
so the crew can easily make sense of error messages, e-mail, and the latest
postings in news.soap.opera.rec. Will he succeed before the crew suffers
from chronically sore necks, as they stand on their heads while holding mir-
rors to read their screens? Find out on the all-new episode of "Star Trek:
The 'dnuof ton dnammoc :nam' Generation"!
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