==================================
Star Trek:  The Crouton Generation
Season 4, pack #8
==================================

Date: Tue, 2 Jul 91 9:25:48 edt
From: "someone now holds the key (Russell, Kerri)" 
Subject: ST:TCG ***LONG!***(I mean it)

Captain's quarters on the Heissenberg:

Kabeta: Personal Log. *sigh* Something's wrong. I have no clue what. I seem to
        be pulled towards something. A distant place. I've never felt a pull
        like this before. It's almost like I am expected to go somewhere. Do
        something. *even larger sigh* I don't understand.

Lt. Kleber: (ic) Captain, Admiral Avenger for you on line 5.
Kabeta: Thanks. I'll take it in here.
Adm: Kabeta, I've got a job for you. I need you to go settle a dispute.
        There has been fighting on planet Melarn, rebels have been attacking
        the Federation Science Base there. I have already sent your computer
        the coordinates and all the information you need. This is extremely
        important. (screen goes blank)

Kabeta: (long pause) Personal Log, continued. Something feels wrong about the
        assignment. Not the assignment itself...It's almost like it will take
        me away from where I am supposed to be....I've never thought of
        disobeying an order before. Never thought I would. *sigh* I have to
        though. I have to find out why I'm being pulled towards...wherever.
        I'll have to plot a course....

Stands up. Paces.

Kabeta: Pandora. Erase all information the Admiral sent you on Melarn.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
                                "Drawn In"

Written By: half japanese

Directed By: Ford Prefect

Music By: The Dead Milkmen

Staring: Kabeta
         half japanese
         Skywise
         Sancho
         Jez the Wonderkitty
With: The crews of the _Heissenberg_ and the _Subaru_

Ideas Stolen from: Kabeta
                   Dave Qixote, used with permission inspired by a hint of
                        force and the threat of a few million push-ups.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
[Captain's quarters on the _Subaru_. Captain half japanese (who hasn't gotten
over how good that sounds) is holding Skywise (her wolf cub) on her lap while
typing something in the computer. Skywise suddenly starts growling.]

half japanese: What's wrong, sweetie? There there, calm down, it's ok...

Despite the Captain's reassuring, Skywise starts whining, and starts licking
hj's mouth (a sign of submission for wolves).

Dr. Jen-L: (ic) Captain, could you come to sick-bay? Dave Quixote had to be
        brought in here--he's been badly bitten...
hj:(ic) By whom?
Jen-L: (pauses) I think by Sancho Panza...Dave's badly hurt.
hj: Which one?
Jen-L: (puzzled) We only have one Dave Quixote...
hj: No, which Sancho?
Jen-L: Oh, sorry. The dog, not the security officer. It's not like Sancho to
        do that...
hj: I'll be right there.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile back on the _Heissenberg_:

Kabeta: (to herself) Well, here goes everything I've ever worked for. (pushes
        the nameless ops officer out of the way and plots a course)
Jiapa: You ok, Captain?
Kabeta: Secret mission from the Admiral. Make sure the co-ordinates aren't
        changed.
maya: What's the mission?
Kabeta: It's something I must do alone. Anyone else knowing could jepordize
        the entire mission. Close all comunication lines to starfleet. They
        can only be re-opened on my orders, or I'll have all of you demoted to
        the rank of ensign. You'll also learn that half japanese isn't the only
        Captain willing to make her officers do push-ups! (mumbles) Which is
        about the only decent thing hj ever did for starfleet anyway.(leaves
        bridge)
Scribonia: Somethin's definitely not right with the Captain!
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Kabeta's quarters:

Kabeta: Captain's personal log. I wish I didn't have to disobey orders. Of
        course I'm not the first Captain to do so, and I doubt I'll be the
        last. I just hope I'm really doing the right thing. It has to be!
        It feels wrong to do anything else. *sigh* We'll be there tomorrow.
        I hope no one finds out what I'm doing before then.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the _Subaru_ in sick bay. hj, carrying Skywise, walks in.

hj: How is he?
Jen-L: Really bad. He lost a lot of blood before he was found. A few days rest
        and he'll be back to his usual self.
hj: Is there anyway you could make him be less obnoxious?
Jen-L: (smiles) No, sorry captain.
hj: Where's Sancho?
Jen_L: The man or the dog?
hj: The dog.
Jen-L: Sancho, the man, is trying to catch him. Evidently he's not letting
        anyone near. (pauses) Captain...
hj: hm?
Jen-L: We're not really sure it was Sancho.
hj: (worried) What then?
Jen-L: It was definetly a dog, the teeth marks prove that. (pause, tries
        from a different approach) Captain, has Skywise been with you all
        morning?
hj: Yes. (realization hits) Skywise would never do something like that!
Jen-L: Neither would Sancho.
hj: hm. I wonder if what's bothering Skywise is affecting Sancho as well.
Jen-L: What's bothering Skywise?
hj: I don't know. I was hoping you could help me figure that out...
Jen-L: Captain, I'm a doctor, not a veternarian.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cut to a random corridor on the _Subaru_.  Sancho Panza and several security
officers are trying to catch Sancho (the dog).

Sancho Panza: C'mere boy!
Sancho Dog: grrrrrrrrrr
SP: Don't you want to try some of this nice fresh meat? It's raw, the way you
        and the Captain like it...
SD: Grrrrrrrrrrowl.
SP: Woah. Easy boy. I'm just going to slowly pull out my phazer and stun you.

As he gets the phazer out, Sancho (dog) leaps up, and bites S. Panza's hand.
A random security officer shoots Sancho (dog) who falls over. (badly, in true
Star Trek fashion)

SP: OWWWWWWW!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cut back to sick-bay (_Subaru_). Sancho Panza has just been brought in.

SP: OW! That smarts!
Jen-L: What happened to you?
SP: That dog bit me!
Skywise: Whine whine.
Jen-L: (wrapping his hand) It's not that bad. Where's Sancho?
SP: My men took him to a holding cell. OW!
Jen-L: (giving him a shot) That should ease the pain some. (continues wrapping
        SP's hand)
Skywise: whine whine, wimper wimper.
Jen-L: Captain, I know you aren't going to want to do this, but...You might
        want to lock Skywise up too...until we can figure out what's going on.
hj: Absolutely not.
Jen-L: It's for your safety, Captain. And the safety of *your* crew.
hj: You don't understand, Lt. (pause) Skywise isn't just a pet--he's a part of
        me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In Admiral Mad Bob the Avenger's office, the Admiral is talking to officials
from Melarn.

Admiral Avenger: I am sorry.  I don't know why the _Heissenberg_ has not
        arrived yet. They should have been there *hours* ago.
Official: They aren't coming. They changed course. Do you know what this could
        do to our relations with the Federation?!
AA [author's note: Alcoholics Anonymous?]: I am very well aware of the
        situation. I don't understand it at all. Kabeta's one of our finest
        Captains...
Official: I don't want your excuses. I want your help. You're science station
        won't last much longer. And neither will we. (screen goes blank)
AA: Computer! (pulls out a tuft of hair) Find out the location of the
        _Heissenberg_. And find out what ship is closest to Melarn!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the _Heissenberg_...

Kabeta: Captain's Personal Log. We're nearly there. It's a planet called
        Zadraith. I wonder what I'll find there. (pause) I hope it's not
        death.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_Subaru_:Sick-bay.

Jen-L: What do you mean Skywise is a part of you?
hj: We're mentally linked together.
SP: (thinking his Captain has completely lost her chopsticks) You talk
        telepathically with your wolf?
hj: Kinda...He seems to know what I'm thinking, but I can only get images from
        him.
Jen-L: So what's he picturing now?
hj: It's almost like he feels he has to go somewhere...
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_Heissenberg_: Captain's quarters. Kabeta is looking out at the planet she
will soon visit.

Thokk: (ic) Captain.
Kabeta: (ic) Yes, Thokk?
Thokk: (ic) We around planet now.
Kabeta: (ic) I'll be beaming down immediately. Inform the transporter room.
        Kabeta out. (starts walking to the door)
Thokk: (ic) Captain.
Kabeta: (ic) Now what???
Thokk: (ic) _Croutonprize_ in orbit around Zadraith, too. You expect them?
Kabeta: (ic) No, I didn't think they were in this sector...
Thokk: (ic) Scanners indicate ship shut down. Critical levels. All crew sleep.
Kabeta: (ic) I want you to lead a security team to the ship to find out what
        happened while I am on Zadraith.
Thokk: (ic) You no go alone, Captain! Not safe!
Kabeta: (ic) Those are your orders, Lt! Kabeta out.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile back at the ranch, um, I mean the _Subaru_, our gang continues the
conversation...

SP: Where does Skywise want to go?
hj: I don't know. It could be one of millions of planets. All I know is he
        started acting strange and then he was picturing this place. He's
        totally obsessed with it. I wonder if Sancho, not you, the dog, is
        picturing the same thing.
Jen_L: Why would he?
hj: I don't know, but I could picture the producers of this show pulling a
        trick like that...(All nod in agreement.)
Palmer: (ic) Captain, Admiral Avenger is calling you. Collect, I think.
hj: (ic) Be on the bridge in two seconds.
Palmer: (ic) 1...2...you're late!
hj: (in a sing-song voice) (ic) Push-ups, Commander! Push ups!
Palmer: (ic) Just my luck I forgot to turn my intercom off...I should quit
        this job.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain half japanese, Skywise, Lt. Jen-L, and Lt. JG. Sancho Panza arrive on
the bridge...Palmer is doing push-ups.

hj: (Standing in front of *her* chair) On screen. (bows) Admiral it is truely
        an honor. How may I serve you?
Palmer: (under his breath) Kiss ass.
hj: Get use to that position, Commander, you're going to be in it for a long
        time.
AA: Captain, we've had some problems with ships lately. None of them seem to
        be willing to take orders. (yanks out another tuft of hair) The
        _Croutonprize_ has been shut down. We aren't really sure where it is,
        or what's happened to it. (pause) Kabeta was ordered to go to Melarn
        and settle disputes on the planet there, but she changed course. The
        _Heissenberg_ won't respond to any communications. According to my
        computer, they're in orbit around a planet called Zadraith. Ever been
        there?
hj: No, sir.
AA: Me neither. It's a hick planet as far as I can tell. I want you to go
        there and see if there's any sign of the _Croutonprize_--it's probably
        there so the special effects people will have less work to do. And I
        want you to place Kabeta under arest.
hj: Sir???
AA: I don't want to arrest her, but I have no choice, I'm afraid. It's what the
        regulations call for--she disobeyed Starfleet orders. Then I want you
        to send some of your crew to their ships to bring the _Heissenberg_ and
        the _Croutonprize_ back here. I can't trust the crews of either ship
        until I get to the bottom of this.
hj: I understand, sir, but Kabeta is one of the finest Captains...
AA: Don't you think I know that?! That's why I wanted *her* to go to Melarn.
hj: Who *is* going there, sir?
AA: I've sent the _Chivalier_ there. I hope they make it in time. (pause)
        Good Luck, _Subaru_. Avenger out. (screen goes blank)
hj: You heard the Admiral! Set course for Zadraith.
Practor: Hai!
hj: (sitting down, Skywise in her lap) Ikimasho! (funky special effects as
        they enter warp speed) (to no one in particular) That's funny...
Jen-L: What is?
hj: Skywise has calmed down significantly, as if... as if he wanted to go to
        Zadraith, all along....
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain Kabeta Croutonizes down to the planet surface.  She is in a desert
area, but it is cooling off as evening aproaches. The "rocks" look like they
are made of the same cheap styrofoam that every movie studio uses. Kabeta does
not even look around, instead she just starts walking like she knows where she
is going.
Kabeta: (ic) Pandora. Run our program.
Computer: (ic) Yes, Captain.
Kabeta: Good. Now no one can follow me.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain half japanese and Skywise look in at Sancho (the dog) who is in a
holding cell. An unnamed guard watches nervously to make sure Sancho doesn't
try to escape.

hj: (to guard) Hey! Weren't you the nameless redshirt who died a few episodes
        ago?
Guard: (nervously) Uh...um...that was my twin brother...?
hj: Uh huh. (changes subject) Any changes in Sancho's behaviour?
Guard: Well, he started acting a little calmer not too long ago...
hj: Open the cell.
Guard: Are you sure?
hj: (quietly) Open the door before I use my fingernails to open up your face.

The guard opens the door with amazing speed. Sancho runs out of the cage and
he and Skywise start wrestling playfully.

hj: (looks at guard) I'd like you to join us when we croutonize down to the
        surface.

Guard starts visably shaking as he watches the Captain, the dog and the wolf
leave the room.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kabeta appears to have reached some sort of city where all dwellings are in
caves with mud walls for added shelter. Her appearance causes commotion. They
obviously don't get too many visitors in these parts. Kabeta keeps walking.
Someone approaches Kabeta.

Someone: (very very slowly) Hell-o. Are federation from?
Kabeta: Yes. I am Kabeta, Captain of the _Heissenberg_.
Someone: (puzzled) We have kill orders for federation. But no like to kill.
Kabeta: Who gave you these orders?
Someone: Come, I show. Bring you. (they start walking)
Kabeta: Where did you learn to speak standard?
Someone: Cat-God taught me. Cat-God orders kill. We go Cat-God.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Thokk and Three Security Guards Croutonize aboard the _Croutonprize_.

Thokk: No like this. Phasers on stun.
GuardBlue [Author's Note: Guard 1, 2 and 3 would be boring so I've chosen
        colors instead]: Thokk, we've got a sleeper over here.
Thokk: sleep or dead?
GB: There's a pulse. He looks more stunned then just napping.
Thokk: *Grunt* let's go to the Bridge.

They open the door and and a body falls in.

GuardRed: He's stunned, too.

They walk down the corridor, which is strewn with sleeping bodies.

GuardLavander: (sniffs the air) Do you smell that? The crew was gassed.
Thokk: You right. Hey! You wern't supposed speak now they have to pay you
        extra! You'll be ruining the budget for this fiscal year!
Director: Yo! Thokk! You're outta character!
Thokk: (blushes) oh. me sorry.
Director: I'm sorry GuardRed, we're going to have to kill you now instead of
        later to make up for costs. (GuardRed falls to the floor screaming)
        ok. continue.
Thokk: Try not breathe often. Gas no work.
GL: Oh sure. no problem.
Thokk: Grrr.
GL: Yes, sir.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Captain's quarters on the _Subaru_.

Captain's log: As requested by Admiral Avenger, the _Subaru_ has been sent to
        Zadraith to locate the _Heissenberg_, and hopefully even find the
        _Croutonprize_. The landing party will consist of Sancho Panza the
        dog, Skywise the wolf cub, one security guard, and myself.

hj: Enter! (said before the Captain was informed there was someone at the
        door. Palmer and Sancho Panza (the man) enter the room. SP avoids the
        dog with his name)
Palmer: Captain, may I make a suggestion?
hj: Of course.
Palmer: Without fear of having to do push-ups?
hj: (calmly) No push-ups will be assigned as a result of this conversation.
Palmer: Promise?
hj: I promise.
Palmer: (sigh of relief) Ok. Sancho and I don't feel it is safe for you to go
        alone...
hj: I am not going alone.
Palmer: Let me go with you.
hj: I'm touched.
Palmer: That's not what I meant. Captain it's for your safety...
hj: You don't think I can take care of myself?
Palmer: We don't know what's down there, Captain.
hj: I need you on this ship. I am sure the crew of the _Heissenberg_ will not
        be too thrilled about being arrested. One of us has to be here to take
        care of that.
Palmer: Then I'll go and you stay here.
hj: I don't think so. hj don't play that. (pause, indicates Sancho and
        Skywise) Besides, they won't listen to you. You are staying on the
        ship where I need you, Commander. That is final.
SP: Then let me go with you.
hj: No. You will need to lead the away team to arrest the _Heissenberg_. That
        won't be an easy job. I need to go to the planet to find Kabeta.
SP: You don't even know she's there for sure.
hj: She's there. We'll find her.
Palmer: But Captain, your life could be at risk.
hj: Commander, all are lives are "at risk." Something is very wrong, and the
        source of this power is Zadraith.
Kessner: (ic) Captain...It's the _Croutonprize_-- she's here, and as quiet as
        the grave.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Kabeta is being led through barely lit tunnels in a cave

Kabeta: These caves are...massive...we must have walked a mile already!
Someone: Yes. in here. (starts to crawl throw a narrow tunnel, Kabeta follows)
        this room cat-God.

The room is intensely massively huge. Gems of various shapes, sizes, and
colors decorate the wall, in no obvious pattern, but it is obviously very
beautiful.

Someone: Bow to Cat-God. (leaves them alone)
Kabeta: JEZ!
Jez: Mrow mrow mrow [Hi, Captain. Wine?]
Kabeta: What are you doing here? What did you do to your ship?
Jez: Mrooow mrew mrow mrow mrow. [It's not my fault, Captain. I just had to
        come here. I don't know why.]
Kabeta: I'll have to place you underarrest, you know.
Jez: Mrew mrow. [Arrest a god? are you crazy?] Mrow mrow mrow mrwoo [Besides,
        *I* am not the only one who has disobeyed star fleet orders.]
Kabeta: (scowles) Point taken. Any idea why we've both been called here.
Jez: mow. [nope].
Kabeta: We should start looking around, I'm sure someone's been sent after us
        by now. I don't really feel like getting caught, at least not before I
        figure out why I risked my career to come here. Any ideas where to
        begin?
Jez: mow. [nope]
Kabeta: Some help you are.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bridge of the _Subaru_...

hj: Kessner, I want a report of the _Croutonprize_.
Kessner: There are only three people moving around on the whole ship. All
        systems have been shut down, except minimum life support.
Practor: Captain, there are no signs of an outside attack.
hj: Was the transporter room used?
Practor: Someone beamed down to the planet, 3 days ago.
hj: Has the crew been out that long?
Kessner: Captain, some form of gas is being sent through the vents now.
hj: So whoever's doing this keeps gassing the crew so they won't wake up till
        he or she is ready for them. (pause) What's the status on the
        _Heissenberg_?
SP: We're in luck. They're hailing us.
hj: On screen.
Scribionia: Hey _Subaru_, what are you guys doing here?
hj: I have been sent here to place your ship under arest. Starfleet orders.
        Where's Kabeta?
Scribionia: She beamed down to the planet...
hj: Alone?
Scribionia: Yes. Captain, why are we being arrested?
hj: Disobeying Starfleet orders.
Scribionia: What are you talking about??!! We're on a secret mission from
        starfleet!
hj: Our orders come from Admiral Avenger. (pause) I don't know how many of the
        crew is involved. Possibly only Kabeta. At any rate, our orders are to
        bring you back. Things will be straightened out later. I trust the
        crew of the _Heissenberg_ will cooperate with my security team?
Scribionia: (stiffly) If we must.
hj: I am sorry, Commander. (a beat) What do you know about the _Croutonprize_?
Scribionia: Thokk and 3 security guards boarded the ship. They found crew
        members sleeping, and then our sensors picked up gas in the vents.
        We haven't heard from them since, and our Croutonizer is down.
hj: I'll send an away team to figure out what's going on. (a beat) Prepare to
        be boarded. I want all crew to confine themselves to their quarters.
        Captain half japanese out. (pause) Palmer. I want Sancho Panza to lead
        the security team to the _Heissenberg_, send Dave Quixote and other
        security officers to the _Croutonprize_. Monitor both groups and
        inform me of their progress. Make sure you send a full bridge crew to
        the _Heissenberg_, and to the _Croutonprize_ when the gas has been
        turned off.
Palmer: Why can't I lead an away team?
hj: Because I said you can't. Besides, you'll probably want to retire half way
        through the mission. Those are my orders. I'm off. (leaves bridge)
Palmer: Bitch.
hj: (ic) I heard that! 50 push-ups!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the Croutonizer room on the _Subaru_. hj is armed with her Katana (on her
back), she picks up a phaser, shakes her head, but takes it anyway.

Yi: Uh, Captain, how are you going to get the animals on the transporter?
hj: Easy. (to Skywise and Sancho) Guys, sit on the round things. (Yi's mouth
        drops as the animals calmly take a seat)
Yi: I've never seen animals that cooperative, most of them are too scared.
Nameless Guard from before: Sorry I'm late.
hj: You should be.(a beat) Four to Croutonize down, Ensign Yi.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the planet surface...

Guard: Which way do we go?
hj: Skywise? (Skywise and Sancho start running) I guess we follow them. I hate
        running.
Guard: Race you? (takes off)
hj: Hey! Watch out!

An arrow comes whizzing out of no where and catches the Guard in the rib cage.
hj runs to him.

hj: Dammit! (ic) Yi! Croutonize the guard to sickbay, NOW! (looks around)
        Damn you! Come out and fight!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile Kabeta and Jez roam the city.

Kabeta: It's weird. It's not like anyone here expected us to show up, but...
Jez: mrow mrowww mrooow [but we definetly had to be here]
Kabeta: Oh look, the town dump. Sure smells pretty.
Jez: Mrow! [I think I see something!]

they run over to the fly-infested dump. Jez picks up something.

Kabeta: An artists pad?
Jez: mrow. [look at the pictures]

Kabeta opens the book. The first picture is of Jez the Wonder Kitty, every
detail is perfect. The next picture is of Kabeta who is in the transition
stage between human and wolf.

Jez: mrow mrow [Interesting picture].

Kabeta turns the page quickly to see a wolf cub playing with an older dog that
looks like Sancho Panza. This is the last drawing in the book.

Kabeta: I wonder if they're here too. (a loud barking dog in the distance
        answers that question) Let's go! (they take off toward the barking)
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In another part of the city. From a window someone is aiming an arrow at
Skywise. He is about to shoot when the blade of a sword is placed between his
eye.

hj: (in their language) Shoot the wolf and die.
archer: (drops his bow) You speak our language? Who are you?
hj: I am Captain half japanese of the Federation ship USS _Subaru_.
archer: Are you with the other Federation officers? The Cat God and the other?
hj: Cat god? Jez? do you know where they are?
archer: No. they left the holy room.
hj: (Lowers her sword) Sorry, forgot. Can you help me find them?
Kabeta: Here they are Jez!
hj: (turns to face the Captain) There you are.(pause) I'm sorry, I have to
        place you both under arrest.
Jez: mreow! [Oh no you don't.] (takes off running Sancho follows) MREOW!
        screach. [get away from me, dog breath] hisss.
Sancho: Grrr. woff. woff.

They continue screaching, hissing and barking running around after each other
all through the city.

Kabeta: You'll find that in cats and dogs all over the universe I guess. (a
        beat) Can we postpone the arrest until after I figure out why I had
        to come here? I'd like to at least know why?
hj: (thinks about it) I guess so. It's not like you can go anywhere, your ship
        is under arrest as well.
Kabeta: YOU ARRESTED MY CREW!!!
hj: Admiral's orders, Captain.
Kabeta: They didn't do anything!
hj: Look, everything will be straightened out at the Starbase. In the
        meantime, let's figure out why you're here. Knowing would probably help
        your defense. (a beat) And I have a feeling Skywise and Sancho are
        here for the same reason.
Kabeta: Look at this. (shows the pictures of Jez and Skywise & Sancho) Jez and
        I found them in the garbage dump. Perfect drawing of all of us. And
        they had to have been done before we got here.
hj: Is there one of you? (Kabeta nods) Can I see it?
Kabeta: I'd rather not show it to you. It's very personal...
hj: You realize that you may have to submit it for evidence? (Kabeta nods) Ok.
        Let's not worry about that now and try to find the artist. (to archer
        in their language) Do you know who might have drawn this?
archer: They look like Wtreyth's work.
hj: Where can we find him?
archer: He's right here, (proudly) he's my son.
Kabeta: I didn't know you spoke their language.
hj: (shrugs) neither did I. He said the artist is his son. We've been invited
        in for supper.
archer: That wolf can't come in here!
hj: Please? He won't hurt you.
archer: (grudgingly) Ok. I'm sorry we don't have much to give you. (places
        huge quantities of food infront of the two Captains and a smaller
        portion for the wolf cub)

hj: He appologized for the lack of food.

Jez and Sancho run into the room, still chasing each other.

hj: (impatiently) Sancho come here. Jez, have a seat.

Sancho walks over with his tail between his legs, but cheers up when the
archer puts a plate in front of him. Jez isn't too thrilled by the food.
A little boy, about eight years old comes into the room.

archer: This is my son, and Zadraith's most adored artist, Wtreyth.
Wtreyth: (pointing to hj) You aren't supposed to be here! I didn't send for
        you!
hj: I'm here anyway. Why did you send for them?
Wtreyth: It's all wrong! (runs out of room)
Kabeta: What was that all about?
hj: He's upset that I'm here. Seems to have ruined his plans. He only called
        for you guys, not me. (to archer) What do you know about this?
archer (with hj translating): He was talking about calling down people from the
        stars. I didn't think he really meant it. But then the cat showed up,
        he was proud of himself, I didn't take him seriously, but my wife knew
        the picture was drawn before the cat got here. She took his drawing
        book and threw it away. She should have destroyed it.
Kabeta: How could drawings have made us come here?
Jez: Mreow mrow. [Well they are perfect likenesses...]

Suddenly a woman walks into the room. She had obviously been listening to the
conversation.

woman: You don't get it do you? He didn't just draw your pictures, he didn't
        just capture your physical appearance, he captured your souls! You've
        been drawn in! And you'd better leave before he tries again!
Kabeta: (after listening to hj's translation) Will we be able to leave? I mean
        wouldn't we just have to come back. The pull towards the pictures is
        intense...
hj: (in standard) We could destroy the pictures...
Kabeta: Yeah, but what would that do to us? These are our *souls*, not just
        a simple child's drawing.
Jez: mrow! [you've got a point there]
Kabeta: Jez, do you feel, I don't know, "safer?" now that we are holding the
        pictures?
Jez: (thoughtful pause)(or should it be paws?) MroW! [Yes, I do!!!]
hj: Skywise and Sancho agree.
Kabeta: (looks at hj) huh? (pause) I'll take your word for it. (a beat) If we
        took the pictures back with us, and if we each kept the picture of
        ourself, and either kept it with us or in a safe place, we should be
        alright, shouldn't we?
Jez: mreo. [makes sense]
hj: shh! (runs outside)
Jez: mreooow? [what's with her?]
Kabeta: No clue. Let's run after her and find out.
Jez: mrow mrew? [Do we have to?] mrew. [you're right, let's go]
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the _Croutonprize_, Dave Quixote and his nameless security team are wearing
space-age style gas masks. they stumble across GuardRed's body.

DQ: This one hath been slain!
guard1: No shit, Sherlock.
DQ: Let us proceed! Come my squires! To Engineering!
guard2: This guy's totally flipped!

The keep walking and stumble into Thokk and GuardLavander cuddled together and
sleeping quite soundly. GuardBlue is curled up in the fetal position and
sleeping quite peacefully.

guard3: Well so much for the security team from the _Heissenberg_.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
On the _Heissenberg_, Sancho Panza is making himself comfy in the Captain's
chair.

SP: I've never gotten to sit in one of these before! This is so cool!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the _Croutonprize_ Engineering room, Dave Quixote is "fixing something"
which involves playing with lots of wires.

DQ: (holding a blue wire) Ne're hast I seen such a color snake! I shalt rip
        its head from its body! Nay, thee wilt not have thine lunch today,
        foul reptile!
guard2: I don't believe this loon is in charge of us.
guard4: Excuse me Dave, but wouldn't turning this switch off be the thing to
        do?

DQ runs over and looks at the switch above which is a sign saying "To turn off
gas, turn off this switch."

DQ: At last, we have succeeded in ending the peril which has befallen us!
guard2: He is so obnoxious!
guard1: You said it!
guard3: Check this gage out! There wasn't any more gas anyway.
DQ: To the Bridge! We must finish this battle!
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Cut to Dave Quixote and his staff arriving on the bridge, the entire Bridge
crew is sleeping soundly.

DQ: (pushing the sleeping Captain Crouton to the floor and replacing him in
        his chair) This is a mighty fine chair! Onward!
Guard1: Shouldn't we wait for the Captain's orders?
DQ: Oh yes, my queen! I await her command. Hail the _Subaru_ on screen!
Palmer: (sulking) Hi guys, I hope *you're* having fun, I'm not. I really
        should quit this job. Have you turned off the gas?
DQ: Yes, my lord.
Palmer: How are the crew?
DQ: Sleeping like babes, my lord. One hath been slain.
Palmer: I'll send over a medical crew, no clue what kind of damage was done to
        their lungs. I don't dare do anything else though, I am really not in
        the mood for push-ups. Palmer out.
Guard1: Think we can get any music going in here?

The medical crew arrives.
Jen-L: Let's start getting these people to sickbay. (looks at Captain Crouton,
        gives him an injection, he wakes up, coughing)
Crouton: What? Huh? Do I know you?
Jen-L: I am Doctor Jen-L from the _Subaru_. Try not to move Captain, I'll have
        you put on a stretcher and carried back to your quarters. Your muscles
        won't be responsive right now, and I don't want you to do anymore
        damage to yourself.
Crouton: You aren't suggesting confining me to bed rest are you?
Jen-L: No. I'm not suggesting it. I'm ordering you.
Crouton: I outrank you.
Jen-L: I don't care.
Crouton: (tries to move but can't) I suppose I have no choice.
Jen-L: No, Captain, you don't.
Crouton: What happened to my crew? Why is the _Subaru_ here?
Jen-L: Your crew is still sleeping. We'll be waking them up and moving them to
        their quarters soon. The more serious cases will be brought to
        sick-bay, I'll call the _Subaru_ for more help. In the mean time, I
        expect you to rest.
Crouton: I've gotten enough rest to last a lifetime! (yawns) Ok maybe not.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back on Zadraith, our hero-types rush out of the house to find themselves
in front of a mob of not so happy villagers led by Wtreyth. They are chanting
something.

Kabeta: What are they saying?
hj: It's a lynch mob.
Kabeta: I kinda figured that. What are they saying?
hj: "Kill the short one." (ic) Ensign Yi, prepare to Croutonize Cpt. Kabeta,
        Jez, Skywise, Sancho and myself out of here! (to Kabeta) Do you have
        the pictures with you?
Kabeta: I thought you had them!
hj: Grab the pictures and lets get out of here, before this gets nasty. (to
        the crowd in their language) We come in peace!
someone: We've heard that line before.
hj: That doesn't lessen the implications of the words.
random woman: We want you dead, evil one!
Wtreyth: Kill her! Kill her! (The crowd starts advancing)
hj: (to Jez in standard): Uh, Jez, I'm gonna need lots of help over here. (to
        the crowd) Can we just leave and forget the whole thing?
Wtreyth: You leave. The others must stay. We need them. We need teachers.
hj: What if they don't want to stay?
Wtreyth: It doesn't matter. We need them. We will force them to stay.
hj: (to Jez) Dammit. Phasers on stun. Let's give them an idea of what we *can*
        do so we don't have to. (Kabeta runs out of the house holding the
        notebook) (ic) Ensign Yi! Croutonize us the hell out of here!
Wtreyth: Stop them! We need them!

An arrow flies through the place where half japanese was just standing.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Croutonizing room aboard the _Subaru_ where our hero-types (all of them)
have just arrived.

hj: Ensign Yi, you're a prince.
Kabeta: May I go back to the _Heissenberg_ now?
hj: I think you'd better stay on the _Subaru_ until we get to the starbase.
        Come on, I'll take you to the quarters we've prepared for you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
_Subaru_ Captain's quarters. half japanese is looking rather exhausted as she
speaks:

Captain's log. I have returned to the _Subaru_ with Captain Kabeta and Lt.
Jez the Wonder Kitty. They have each been given special guest quarters and are
allowed to go anywhere on the ship as long as they are accompanied by an armed
guard. (pause) I don't think the guard is actually necessary, but it is the
minimum security requirement for the situation. (pause) I sent Cdr. Palmer to
the _Croutonprize_--maybe being in command of a ship will convince him not to
retire. The crew of the _Croutonprize_ are recovering quite well, still
complaining of stiff muscles, but no other reported injuries from gassing.
(pause) Two officers have died from this mission: Ensign Smith from the
_Heissenberg_, who died while searching the _Croutonprize_ and (a beat) Ensign
Wesson, from the _Subaru_, who accompanied me to the planet surface and was
slain there. Funeral services for both were held last night. (pause) We will
reach the Starbase in 3 days, at which time there will be a preliminary hearing
for Kabeta and Jez.

hj: Come in! (before there was an electronic knock at the door)
Kabeta: Hi. You wanted to see me?
hj: (to guard who is looking very tired) Take a break. I'll find someone to
        relieve you. Come in Captain, have a seat. (Skywise runs up to Kabeta)
Kabeta: Hi, Skywise. (sits down)
hj: That's odd.
Kabeta: What?
hj: You're the first person, besides me, that Skywise has greeted. hm. There
        seems to be something about you he can identify with.
Kabeta: (trying not to smile, which doesn't work to well) I wonder what?
hj: (changing the subject) Would you like some Sake?
Kabeta: Uh, sure. I'll try anything once. (accepts the small cup from hj)
        Strong stuff.
hj: (smiles) Has my crew been treating you well? Is there anything you need?
Kabeta: I haven't felt this pampered in a long time. And Jez is pleased--says
        he gets more pounce here than he did on the _Croutonprize_. And a lot
        more exercise too, with Sancho chasing him and Shenando around all
        the time. You have quite a zoo around here.
hj: (Chuckles) We try. I think it's a good idea for the crew to have pets--
        keeps them less stressed out. (a beat) How does one be a good
        Starfleet Captain?
Kabeta: (surprised) In 25 words or less?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
A few days later...Cpts. Kabeta and half japanese, Lt. Jez the Wonder
Kitty, Skywise, and Sancho Panza (dog) Croutonize into Admiral Avenger's office.
All are wearing dress uniforms, and in the pets cases dress collars.

AA: May I ask why those mutts are in my office?
Kabeta: They are involved in all of this.
AA: I want some explanations! Why did you disobey my orders? Do you have any
        clue what kind of damage your actions have done? The science station
        there was nearly destroyed. The _Chivalier_ got there in time to save
        it, but our relations with the government there are shakey, at best.
        (to Jez) And what posessed you to gas your entire crew?! (pulls out a
        tuft of hair)
hj: Sir, may I speak.
AA: SPEAK!
hj: It wasn't their fault, Admiral.
AA: Oh ok, fine I guess that settles everything.
hj: (hands him the picture of Skywise & Sancho) There was an artist on
        Zadraith by the name of Wtreyth he drew these, which captured their
        souls. Sancho was going crazy--even attacked his owner and a few
        others. Skywise was also feeling miserable.
AA: You know this?
hj: Yes I do, sir. I don't know how, but I do.
AA: uh-huh.
Kabeta: I'm sure they were feeling the same thing we were feeling...a sort of,
        *needing* to be somewhere.
AA: Can I see the pictures of you two? (Jez hands his to the Admiral) Kabeta?
Kabeta: I feel very uncomfortable showing you my picture. (Adm. just looks at
        her waiting for her to offer an explination) It's my *soul*. It's
        everything that I am.
AA: (pulls out tuft of hair) I have a feeling this is going to take a while.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Time passes. lots of time. half japanese is practicing TaiJiQuan in one part
of the room while Jez, Sancho, and Skywise are cuddled up together sleeping,
and Kabeta is staring nervously out of the window. Admiral Avenger walks in.

AA: Ok. here's the deal. half japanese would you stop dancing around and get
        over here?
hj: Huh? oh sorry, Admiral.
AA: Because of the bizarre circumstances this case will not go to trial. (they
        all look relieved) However, this incident will be added to your
        service records, with a notation on Kabeta's saying that she would not
        present the picture of her because of its personal nature. OK? ok.
        Return to your ships and get out of here.(a beat) I think I came
        back from vacation way too soon...