Imagemap. No graphics? Use menu below.
The Crouton Generation Archives
From tcg-request@ofps.ucar.edu Fri Oct 29 14:37:41 1993
Received: from ncar.ucar.edu by ucsu.Colorado.EDU with SMTP id AA28592
  (5.65c+/IDA-1.4.4/CNS-2.1); Fri, 29 Oct 1993 14:37:18 -0600
Received: from thunder.ofps.ucar.edu by ncar.ucar.EDU (5.65/ NCAR Central Post Office 03/11/93)
	id AA24493; Fri, 29 Oct 93 14:32:48 MDT
Received: by thunder.ofps.ucar.EDU (5.65/ NCAR Mail Server 04/10/90)
	id AA28044; Fri, 29 Oct 93 14:32:40 MDT
Received: from ouray.denver.colorado.edu by thunder.ofps.ucar.EDU (5.65/ NCAR Mail Server 04/10/90)
	id AA28040; Fri, 29 Oct 93 14:32:39 MDT
Received: by ouray.Denver.Colorado.EDU (5.65/DEC-Ultrix/4.3)
	id AA22547; Fri, 29 Oct 1993 14:31:33 -0600
Date: Fri, 29 Oct 1993 14:31:33 -0600
From: mwzecca@ouray.Denver.Colorado.EDU (The Admiral)
Message-Id: <9310292031.AA22547@ouray.Denver.Colorado.EDU>
To: tcg@ofps.ucar.edu
Subject: Writer's Guide
Status: R

Note:  This thing is *not* quite up-to-date yet, but I haven't
had time this week to look up a few things I needed to look up.
Perhaps you can point out any errors or omissions on my part,
since I *know* I've forgotten at least a few people.

There will be another one of these going out in a month or so
with even more changes due to upcoming events (such as "The
Ship Who Sank", which you've probably already seen, which
throws some turmoil into the _Heisenberg_ crew).

---------------------------------------
|  STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION  |
|          FIFTH SEASON "BIBLE"       |
---------------------------------------

Current as of the end of "The Perfect Game", but before any subsequent
episodes (such as "The Ship Who Sank").

------------------------------------
| THE UNITED FEDERATION OF PLANETS |
------------------------------------
Characters are assumed Terran unless otherwise noted.

----------------------------------------
THE FEDERATION COUNCIL
Governing body of the United Federation of Planets

The President (James Earl Jones)

Ambassador Kennedy (Katharine Hepburn)
Ambassador Torv (Danny Devito), Tellarite

----------------------------------------
STAR FLEET COMMAND

Star Fleet Commander:  Admiral Jake Sisko (Laurence Fishburne)

LMC Exploration	Commander:  Adm. Data (Brent Spiner), Soongian Android
LMC Vice-Commander:  VAdm. Mark Bradford (Mark Bradford)

----------------------------------------
_USS CROUTONPRIZE_, _SALAD_-class (1st), NCC-1741-C  [Fleet flagship]
Crew:  2031			Max. Warp:  Jolt 9.9

Captain Soraya Ghiasi (Soraya Ghiasi)
First Officer:  Cdr. Crossfire (Jon Reid)
Second Officer, Chief Science Officer:  LCdr. Susan Parker (Susan Parker)
Computer Officer:  LCdr. Zortylwankoid (Chris Hassell), Yoyoboqian
Chief Engineer:  LCdr. Rhee Savan (Adrienne Kantor)
Security Chief:  Jez the Wonder Cat (Jez), Feline
Chief Medical Officer:  Dr. (LCdr.) Icefalcon (Kevin Lindauer)
Con Officer & Cryptographer:  Lt. Longshot (Randy Ray)
  [Will probably also be introduced in "In the Line of Crossfire"]
Ops Officer:  [Will be introduced in "In the Line of Crossfire"]
Science Officer, Ice Cream Man:  Lt. JG Dave Kindig (Dave Kindig)
Computer:  Zen (Jon Reid)
  [ Zen's voice was recorded by Ensign Crossfire. ]

Soraya's Psycho Kitty:  Pandora
Rhee's Dizzy Kitty:  Prancer
Crossfire's Dog:  A.J.

Shuttlecraft:
01  Fork		05  Gravy 		09  Spork
02  Spoon		06  Pepto Bismol	10  Crash
03  Knife		07  Maalox		11  Northwest Airlines
04  Ladle		08  Metamucil		12  Blueshift

----------------------------------------
_USS HEISENBERG_, _SALAD_-class (3rd), NCC-75704
Crew:  2029				Max. Warp:  Jolt 9.9

Fleet Captain Kabeta (Katherine Bryant), Xavionite of Royal Blood
First Officer:  Cdr. Furd the Nurd (David McKinnon), Nurdistani
Second Officer, Chief Communications Officer, Speaker for the Dead:
  LCdr. Michael Kleber (Michael Kleber)
Chief Science Officer:  LCdr. yaz-pistachio (Josh Brandon)
Security Chief, Ship' Barbarian:  Lt. Thokk the Dismemberer (Angela Winner)
Chief Engineer, Silly Support Officer:  LCdr. Q. Torvald McDonagh (Tom
  Donaghey), Rubrix Chickendi
Chief Medical Officer:  Dr. (LCdr.) Ruth Hertzman (Ruth Hertzman)
Counselor:  (LCdr.) Jiapa (Amy Chused)
Xenologer:  LCdr. Zenador (Nich Shectman)
Computer Officer:  LCdr. Edwin Aoki (Edwin Aoki)
Ship's Librarian:  Lt. Guillaume de Fontaine (Will Brockman)
Con Officer, Ship's Obvious Officer:  Lt. G. O'Forever (Ethan Gershon)
Ops, Intelligence & Shredder/Gerbil:  Lt. Kendragon (Kendra Willson)
Ambassador from Civilization-About-Which-We-Know-Next-to-Nothing:
  Blanchefleur (Sue Gill)
Blanchefleur's Consort:  Daneel (Nathan Kronenfeld)
Insecurity Officer:  Lt. JG Michael Hutchings
Ship's Weenie:  Ens. Mreen (Charles Dickson)
Security Officer:  Ens. Joe Fodder (Michael Donahue)
Vice Lieutenant Deputy Undersecretary for Mostly Useless Trivia:  Ens.
  Goldhaber (David Goldhaber)
Linguistics Specialist:  Ens. 'Droht (David Greenebaum)
Xenolinguistics Specialist:  Ens. K-thleen Aoiai (Claudia Mastroianni)
Communications Officer:  Lt. JG Geoffrey Snark (Susanne Vanderhoef)
Artificial Gravity Repair Technician:  Ens. Metag (Kevin Wald)
Ship's Sorceress:  Polgara (Joanne Handwerger)
Visitor from a Random Alien Species:  Matt Ender (Matt Ender)
Croutonizer Chief:  Lt. Iluvanna Lin-Elenuial (Nathaniel Bergson-Michelson) 
  [ Note:  Iluvanna is also a Star Fleet Intelligence Officer. ]
Speaker's Apprentice:  Ananda (Natasha Bergson-Michelson)
Recreation and Music Coordinator:  Lt. erolaC Stoops (Carole Stoops)
Bartender:  Guendalina (Susan Christiano)
Ship's Ghost:  Bodiless (Ben Cash)
Computer:  Pandora

Shuttlecraft:
01  Baby the Happy Honda  05  Idiocy		09  Cheff's Allah'd
02  Carrot		06  Condiment		10  Crimson
03  Redundancy		07  Dunster		11  Teabag
04  Inconsistency	08  Garbanzo		12  Buttercup

----------------------------------------
_USS CHIVALIER_, _SALAD_-class (2nd), NCC-75703
Crew:  2024			Max. Warp:  Jolt 9.9

Captain Chi An Steven "Roy" Chow (Chi An "Steve" Chow), Cubs fan
First Officer:  Cdr. Tim Larkin (Tim Larkin), Steve's Academy roommate
Second Officer, Computer Officer:  LCdr. Runaway Daemon (Ian Frechette)
Con Officer, Film Critic:  LCdr. Euge Yee (Euge Yee), [Human/Bajoran]
Counselor, Chief Juggler:  (LCdr.) John Tracy (John L. Tracy III)
Chief Science Officer [and Cruise Director]:  Lt. Aedoni ir-Dnassian
  t'Rllaillieu (Despina Papasizis), Romulan
Ship's Purser:  Ensign Scribe (Jen Atkins)
Ship's Minstrel & Ten Forward Hostess:  Acting Ensign Ranaluin
Security Chief:  Lt. Paul Janson (Jim Carrey)
Computer:  Harry (Harry Caray)

Chi's Admiral Birds:  Simon & Garfunkle (Simon Chow & Garfunkle Chow)

Shuttlecraft:
01  Harry Caray		05  La Jolla		09  Red October
02  Ryne Sandberg	06  Robert Redford	10  Stealth
03  Wombat		07  Kevin Costner	11  Wild Thing
04  Chicago		08  Topjob		12  Rod Beck

----------------------------------------
_USS SUBARU_, _JAMES T. KIRK_-class, NCC-83842
Crew:  1307			Max. Warp:  Jolt 9.6

Captain half japanese (Kerri Russell), species unknown
First Officer, Cy Young Award Winner:  Cdr. Jim Palmer (Jim Palmer)
Second Officer, Chief Engineer:  LCdr. Melissa Midzor
Chief Science Officer:  Lt. Jason Maron (Jason Maron)
Croutonizer Chief:  Lt. JG Yi (Brian Tochi)
Ops Officer:  Lt. Kessner (Eric Kessner)
Con Officer:  Ens. Practor (Alyssa Milano), Romulan
Computer:  Heian (?)

hj's pet wolf:  Skywise
Missy's cats:  Shenando (the Anti-Jez) & Kitten

Shuttlecraft:
01  Sashimi		04  Baka
02  Samurai		05  Godzilla
03  Sushi		06  Mothra

----------------------------------------
_USS MELBOURNE_, _JAMES T. KIRK_-class, NCC-1987-E
Crew:  1303			Max. Warp:  Jolt 9.6

Captain Richard A. Muirden (Richard Muirden)
First Officer:  Cdr. David Fox (David Fox)
Shapely Con Officer:  Lt. Lily St. Cyr (Lily St. Cyr?)
Chief Medical Officer:  Dr. (LCdr.) Feelgood (Dr. Feelgood)
Science Officer:  Ens. Travis Maron (Travis Maron)
Computer:  Casanova

Shuttlecraft:
01  Koala		04  Emu			07  Guppy
02  Kangaroo		05  Possum
03  Platypus		06  Bunyip

----------------------------------------
_USS VOLVO_, _JAMES T. KIRK_ class, NCC-

Captain Karl "The Refrigerator" Bundy (Karl Bundy), Volvo fanatic, Sumo
  wrestler, 2nd grade teacher
First Officer:  Cdr. John Heins (John Heins)
Second Officer, Con Officer, Monkeyboy:  LCdr. Tom Youtz (Tom Youtz)
Counselor, Film Critic:  (LCdr.) Wombat (Lisa Goodrich)
Chief Engineer:  LCdr. Gary Hren (Gary Hren)
Ops Officer:  Lt. Jennifer Fakolt (Jennifer Fakolt)
Security Chief:  Lt. Max (Mel Gibson)
Processed Meat Officer:  Ens. SPAM (TM) (Spam Meyers)
	(Note:  Not allowed near the con position at any time)

Shuttlecraft:
01  Saab 9000		04  Green Eggs		07  Banff
02  Devo		05  Ham	
03  Sumo		06  Franz Palmer

Captain's Yacht:  The Chuck Wagon
----------------------------------------
_USS COMATOSE_, _Cavalier_ class, NCC-2947
Crew:  5  (Should be >900)		Max. Warp:  Jolt 9.7

Captain Larry "Boom-Boom" Loesch
Counselor:  (LCdr.) Neon
Crew:  Rellip, Pakled (John Ratzenberger)
       Namreb, Pakled (George Wendt)
       Yelruh, Pakled (Chris Farley)

Shuttlecraft:
01  The Millenium Sweatsock	05  Winchell's
02  Juggernaut			06  Jesse Helms
03  Houston Chronicle		07  Pinche Joto
04  alt.sex.bondage		08  Dan Fielding

----------------------------------------
_USS FEARLESS_, _Nostromo_-class (_Salad-precursor), NCC-....

Captain Rene' Picard (Kevin Costner)

----------------------------------------
_USS NOSTROMO_, _Nostromo_-class (_Salad_-precursor), NCC-....

Formerly commanded by Adm Craig Bowman

----------------------------------------
_USS TERRY NATION_, _Isaac Asimov_-class, NCC-31422

Captain Wayne Gretzky (Wayne Gretzky)
???:  Lt. Janet Jones Gretzky (Janet Jones)
Gretzky's daughter:  Joanna Gretzky (age 3)
Computer:  Orac (Peter Tuddenham)

Shuttlecraft:
01  Dalek		04  Vila
02  Blake		05  Cally
03  Avon		06  Servalan

----------------------------------------
Star Fleet Admiral's Transports, _IAN FLEMING_-class
Crew:  1-12			Max. Warp:  Jolt 10.5

NCC-98471	USS Jenice Mannheim		USS Croutonprize
NCC-98472	USS Noonian Soong		Admiral Data
NCC-98497	USS GreyFlame			VAdm Mark Bradford

----------------------------------------
Missing, Stardate 104xxx.x:
[I need to go look the date up in "The Perfect Game" ep. 22...]

_USS CHRISTOPHER PIKE_, _GALAXY_-class stardrive, NCC-1779-A
with Admiral M. Robert Avenger, Admiral T'Lilith, Ensign Will "Fresh"
  Smith, _USS RAMPAGE_ (_IAN FLEMING_-class, NCC-2500-MP) and
  _USS QIb_ (_IAN FLEMING_-class, NCC-98503)

----------------------------------------

--------------------
| ROMULAN REPUBLIC |
--------------------
All characters are Romulan unless noted otherwise.
----------------------------------------
ROMULAN REPUBLIC

Praetor Tomalok (Andreas Katsulas) - elected leader
Ambassador Tremalor (Pierce Brosnan) - ambassador to the Federation
----------------------------------------
RDF _Ra'kholh_, Di'direx'kada II class Warbird
Crew:  1875			Max. Warp:  Jolt. 9.0

Captain:  Torbog (Michael Ironside), Romulan
----------------------------------------

------------------
| KLINGON EMPIRE |
------------------
All characters are Klingon unless noted otherwise
----------------------------------------
Emperor qeyboH (Arnold Schwarzeneggar), son of the clone of qeylIS
  He has reunited the traditional title of Emperor with the throne
  of real power at the head of the High Council

----------------------------------------
Klingon Bird of Prey _wilyum reyqIr_
Captain:  Commander qey'rI (Gary Hren)
Gunner:  Lt. t'Qayle' (Lalla Ward), Klingon/Vulcan, T'Lilith' sister
----------------------------------------

-------------------
| COMMON VILLAINS |
-------------------
----------------------------------------
BORG COLLECTIVE

Star Fleet does not expect to see the Borg again for a LONG time, but if
they *do* show up, we might expect to see:

Ship JUNIORLAB - Speaker: Ridiculus [The Riddler] (Brian Ridley)
Cube - Speaker:  Sega [Tarkanian] (John Colicos)
Cube - Speaker:  Elucidator [Betty Talbot] (Diana Muldaur)

----------------------------------------
CARDASSIA
Looks like we have some room for development, don't we?

----------------------------------------
THE KUNZ CONTINUUM

The Kunz (P.D. Kunz)		Senior member, now semi-retired
The Ashby (Neil Ashby)		Mr. Relativity? Chair of the Continuum?
A^2 B (Albert A. Bartlett)	Population, Growth and Swivel Chairs
The Feldman (Prof. Feldman)	Ivy League Physics & Ding Dong Bells
K.T. (Kalyana T. Mahanthappa)	Particulars of Crouton Physics
The Tricia (Tricia Rankin)	Parallel universe female analog of The Kunz

----------------------------------------

The Evil Professor Love (Bill Love) - The Riddler's former assistant, now
  running his slave colony on G235

----------------------------------------
THE LUCKY CHARMS

Hideous super-evolved termites that live in eight or more dimensions.
Spacecraft identified by similarity to Lucky Charms cereal marshmallows.
Holiday Lucky Charms are a special, strange variant that appear only in
episodes that take place in December.  Intelligence reports that the
Lucky Charms may be changing, evolving again in a new direction.  They
may take on new and stranger forms.

----------------------------------------
HIDDEN VALLEY RANCH EMPIRE

Government:
	Triumver Bloocheez (Ed Begley, Jr.)
	Triumver Hugh Sane (Charlie Sheen)
	Triumver ? (?)
[I know Dave mentioned this other Triumver, but I need to look up
the episode and get his name.]

Intelligence suspects that Bloocheez will eliminate the other two Triumvers
soon to assume total control.

Some known ship classes:
Class			Crew	Max. Warp
4-karum-bah		1800	Jolt 9.5
K'om-pioo-tah		1840	Jolt 9.9
Ki-torit-kah		1600	Jolt 9.1
Ki-toram-buh		1200	Jolt 9.1
Aye-karum-bah		 980	Jolt 8.3

----------------------------------------


						

[ TCG Archives | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | TSG | TPG | Misc | Begin | End ]