[ John Cleese is seated in a comfy chair, surrounded by the     ]
[ Magnavox audio/video component system from Hell.  A dalmation ]
[ pup sits in his lap.                                          ]

Cleese:  And now for something completely different...the Admiral's
  worst nightmare.

[ Slow cloudy blend into the dream world, where the Admiral    ]
[ finds a small child following him around wherever he goes... ]

Child's voice (voice-over):  Like Mike...

[ The Admiral is logged into Durum at work.  For some strange ]
[ reason, the child is logged into Peace at the next desk.    ]

Child:  If I could be like Mike...

[ The Admiral marches through the corridors of UCD in his    ]
[ Star Fleet uniform.  The child follows as quickly as       ]
[ possible, dressed in a little Colin Baker Dr. Who costume. ]

Admiral (silent, directly to the camera, wide-eyed):  Get away from me!

Child:  I wanna be, wanna be like Mike...

[ Admiral arrives home, constantly looking over his shoulder, ]
[ and seems to think he's lost his pursuer.  He is shocked to ]
[ discover the child in his home playing with his ST:TNG      ]
[ action figures and transporter room!                        ]

Admiral (silent, begging to the camera):  HELP ME!!!

Child:  If I could be...if I could be like Mike...

[ The Admiral arrives in the Kunz Continuum, 10th floor, Duane  ]
[ Physics tower.  With many animated gestures, you can see him  ]
[ pleading with the Kunz for help.  The Kunz can only shrug his ]
[ shoulders.  Then the child arrives, copy of Jackson in hand.  ]

Admiral (silent):  AAAARRRRRGGGHHHH!!!!!!

Child:  Like Mike...if I could be like Mike...

[ The Admiral turns and leaps down the stairwells, three or  ]
[ four steps at a time.  He reaches the ground floor, leaps  ]
[ outside, only to discover *thirty* little kids all dressed ]
[ in black, red flashlights stored at their belts, little    ]
[ Rockies and Twins caps on various heads.                   ]

Children:  Like Mike...we wanna be like Mike...

[ Admiral looks around in panic, then suddenly his features ]
[ soften, he smiles and snaps his fingers.  An idea!        ]

[ The scenery changes.  It's now the planet Skaro.  Sort of.   ]
[ Michael Jordan suddenly comes charging out of the darkness   ]
[ and runs on past, fear in his eyes.  The children, seeing    ]
[ Jordan, look at Avenger with a "Yeah right!" look and chase  ]
[ off after Jordan.  Just as suddenly, various metallic pepper ]
[ pot shapes come roaring out of the darkness, guns blazing.   ]

Daleks (in Charles Barkley's voice):  EXTERMINATE! EXTERMINATE!

[ Admiral, now dressed out in the black and silver robes ]
[ of the Valeyard, grins and enters a blue police box,   ]
[ disappearing into the night.                           ]

[ We now cut back to Cleese and the dalmation pup. ]

Pup (in Patrick Stewart's voice):  I suppose that wasn't
  such a nightmare after all.

[ Screen cuts to a picture of a 2 liter bottle ]
[ of "Liquid Caffeine Nutrient Solution".      ]

The Admiral (voice-over):  Caffeine...so real you can taste it!