The _Heisenberg_ and its task force, including the _Melbourne_ and the
_Terry Nation_, sped at high warp toward the planet Xavion, where the Borg
seemed to be making their last stand.  In the Ten-Forward lounge on the
_Heisenberg_, Guendalina was preparing coffee for assorted ensigns.  Or
trying to.
     Guendalina brought the portable coffee maker over to the bar where
Ensign Fodder of the security division and his companion, Ensign 'Droht, sat
waiting.  "Here it is," she said, "but I'm having a devil of a time getting
it to work.  I'd swear it's possessed -- it keeps bubbling up before I even
turn the heat on."
     As if to illustrate her words, the pot boiled over, narrowly missing
Ensign Fodder's hand, which he had just lifted to scratch his nose, and
spilling all over Ensign 'Droht's lap.
     "Oh, I'm sorry," Guendalina said.  "Lucky it didn't get both of you."
Both ensigns, oddly, groaned at her statement.  She looked puzzled at this,
poured what there was of the coffee, and carried the coffee maker back to
the bar.  As she did, the top hopped off, apparently of its own volition.
Guendalina shook her head and sighed.
     Suddenly, her eye caught Ambassador Blanchefleur and her consort
Daneel, both of the CAWWKNTN.  They sat in a corner, talking quietly, but
Guendalina was suspicious of the blue and silver tiger-- Daneel had a
penchant for such things as repainting the ship's hull, and he *was* tele-
kinetic.  Perhaps his presence explained the strange behavior of the coffee-
pot...  but Guen decided not to provoke an intercivilization incident by
making unfounded accusations.

     Down in the rec deck, Lt. Stoops was sorting through appropriate
battle music.  "Hmm," she thought, "soundtrack to 'Henry V,' not bad..."
As she worked, suddenly the stereo system came to life, blasting the old-
Earth tune "Help!" by the Beatles.
     "What the -- " she exclaimed, going to turn it off.  The switch was in
the "off" position.  As suddenly as the music had begun, it stopped.
     "This is too weird for me," she said, just as the Captain's voice came
over the intercom.
     "Senior officers to the bridge," Captain Kabeta said.  "Get ready to
rumble."
     "Of course!" eloraC said.  "Now where was that recording of 'West Side
Story'?"

----------------------------------------------------------------------
                  STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION
                          "The Perfect Game"
                   Part 18: "Nothing Up My Sleeve"

Written by Katherine Bryant 
Directed by Kenneth Branagh 

Guest starring:
        Denzel Washington as Antonius of Borg
        John Shortess as Kadran
        Teresa Gualtieri as Queen Alexis of Xavion
        Iain Lamb as King Stephen of Xavion

And introducing
        Ben Cash as Bodiless, Ship's Ghost
        Claudia Mastroianni as Ensign K-thleen Aoiai

Music by Patrick Doyle
----------------------------------------------------------------------
     "Captain's Log, Stardate 104302.2.  We have arrived at Xavion, and it
is *not* a pretty sight.  Two of the moons have been destroyed, and there
are three Borg cubes attacking the planet itself.  Mercifully, they have not
touched Terim, the only inhabited moon.  I understand they have evacuated
some people to Terim.
     "What's more, the lead Borg ship appears to be what we used to know as
Starbase LMC1.  And... they've got Anthony.  Anthony Morgan, the one man who
knows me well enough to out-think me.  Ever since we received his message,
I have been wondering why he had to attack here.  I assume the Borg were 
looking for any place they could find weak spots, and he certainly knew mine.
     "We have sent a joint _Heisenberg_-_Melbourne_ away team to the planet's
surface.  Drs. Hertzman and Feelgood are leading the team, with medical and
security personnel and Counselor Eliana.  We expect a report momentarily."

     "Captain, the joint away team is hailing us and the _Melbourne_," said
Kleber.
     "On screen, please," Kabeta responded.  The screen lit up to show the
inside of the shuttlecraft _Buttercup_, the _Heisenberg_'s newest.  The air
was so full of dust it was difficult to make out the shapes of Dr. Feelgood,
Dr. Hertzman, Thokk, Eliana, and the security and medical teams.  With them
was someone Kabeta couldn't identify -- a Xavionite survivor perhaps?  "Go
ahead, Doctor.  What's the story down there?"  Kabeta heard Muirden say.
     "Captain...Captains...Admiral," began Dr. Feelgood.  "It's a real mess
down here.  They've torn up a big section of the capital city, and I don't
even want to think about the damage to the countryside.  We're doing the best
we can, but there's awfully few of us and a lot of scared people."  He paused,
looking at Eliana and the unidentified Xavionite.  "And that's not all."  He
took Eliana's arm, bringing her forward.  As she emerged from the dust, Kabeta
saw that something had Eliana very upset.
     "Is Aren there?" Eliana asked.  Her voice was trembling, and Dr. Hertzman
moved to her other side to help support her.  The Xavionite stepped forward
as well.

     On the bridge of the _Melbourne_, Muirden beckoned to Aren, who came
forward.  "Yes, I'm here, love.  What is it?"  Eliana didn't look good, that
was for sure.
     "Aren... Captain Kabeta..." her voice gave entirely and she began to cry.
She gestured desperately toward the survivor, who came forward.  "Honored
gentlemen and ladies," he began formally, "my name is Kadran.  I am...was...
a guard at the palace of their Royal Majesties Stephen and Alexis."
     Was? thought Aren.  Oh no, he begged inside, Shonyo, not...
     "It is my sad duty," Kadran went on, "to be the bearer of unhappy
tidings.  The horror from the sky...what was its name?" he asked Eliana, who
managed to whisper the name to him. "The Borg," he continued.  "The Borg have
attacked the city and left little standing.  Far worse, they attacked the
royal palace itself.  Their Majesties..." and he knelt in respect, "Their
Majesties are dead."
     Aren sank into a chair, his head in his hands.  "No.  Not Stephen.  Oh
my friend, my brother."

     Kabeta stared at the screen.  Dead?  Alexis and Stephen dead?  She
heard O'Forever murmur something, and felt Bradford's gentle hand on her
shoulder.  The young Xavionite guard stood and continued.
     "But, even in this moment of grief, the people of Xavion are fighting
hard.  We will not give in... particularly not with our queen to guide us."
He dropped to one knee.  "Hail, Your Majesty Queen Kabeta of Xavion," he said,
dropping his head.  Eliana overcame her tears and joined him, saying, "Hail,
Your Majesty."
     The _Heisenberg_ crew gasped.  Kabeta's jaw fell open, and she sank into
her Captain's chair.  Staring at the screen, she tried to formulate words but
could not.  Bradford came to her rescue.  "Doctors, we've been monitoring
increased activity from the Borg ships.  Do you feel you can safely stay on
the planet?"
     Dr. Hertzman replied as the rest of the team and Kadran moved about.
"Well, I don't know how safe it is, but these people will die if we don't
stay."
     Dr. Feelgood added, "I agree, Admiral.  These people certainly don't
have the medical technology we do, and what they do have has largely been
destroyed."
     Bradford looked at Kabeta, who still looked pretty shell-shocked.  "All
right, then.  But if things get any worse, we're going to have to get you
out of there.  Keep in touch."
     "Understood, Admiral.  Feelgood and crew, out."

     Kabeta sat, staring at the screen, for a full minute after it went
blank.  A series of images flashed through her mind...


     ...Lycos came into the room carrying a small child in his arms.
"Who's that?" asked Kabeta.
     "Kabeta, I'd like you to meet your niece.  This is my daughter
Alexis."
     Kabeta reached out to her brother and took the girl in her arms.
     "Hello, Alexis," she said gently.  "Such beautiful dark hair and eyes,
just like yours, Lycos.  How old is she?"
     "Ten months."
     Kabeta cradled the child tenderly in her arms...

     ...The two children stood next to their proxies, not really sure why
all this fuss was being made.  The Smarag went ahead with the wedding
ceremony, the proxies taking the vows on behalf of the children.  King Lycos
looked on, proud as he could be of his little daughter and happy that
Stephen's family had agreed to the marriage.  He hoped that the two children
would grow to love each other; they could, of course, annul the marriage when
they came of age if they chose to, but he hoped they wouldn't.  He whispered
to Prince Lechon and Princess Kabeta, who stood beside him: "Don't they look
wonderful?"
     Kabeta smiled with all the pride an aunt is allowed.  "Beautiful
indeed.  You've made a good match here, my brother."...

     ...Kabeta took small Alexis's hand.  "Alexis, my dear," she began with
heavy heart.
     "What is it, Aunt 'beta?" the two-year-old asked.  Kabeta couldn't
help but smile a little at Alexis's childish nickname for her, but the sad-
ness of the news she was bringing erased the smile as soon as it began.
     "Alexis...your daddy is dead."
     The child looked at her, stunned.  "Dead?"  Then, with a child's
innocent wisdom, she asked, "That means he's never coming back, right?"
     Kabeta looked at her tenderly.  "That's right."  She paused.  What did
you say to a two-year-old about death anyway?
     She was spared having to answer in words as Alexis looked up at her,
and then, in a puzzled tone, asked, "Never *ever*?" and burst into tears.
Kabeta picked her up, letting her wrap her little arms around her neck and
sob till she could sob no more.

     ...Kabeta took one last look around the palace and then walked out to
where the Federation officials were waiting to take her off to the stars.
Queen Alexis and King Stephen -- such small children to have such big
titles! -- were waiting too, along with Stephen's parents and Kabeta's
cousin Indryna, who was taking over as Regent.  Indryna came over to her.
"Cousin..." She could find no words to say and merely wrapped Kabeta in a
great hug.  Kabeta returned it and then said, "Indryna, take good care of the
children.  And of Xavion.  I will miss you."  She then turned to the children.
Kneeling down so she could look them in the eye, she first addressed Stephen.
"Grow up strong and wise, Stephen.  Yours will be a grand destiny, I am sure."
The boy took her hand and squeezed it, but he was of course too busy showing
how big he was to let himself acknowledge her in any more noticeable way.
     Kabeta then looked at little Alexis.  She took the child into a long
embrace.  "Be good, and be wise, my love."  She tried to say something more,
but was too overcome by emotion and Alexis's hug to get the words out.  Then
she stood up.  With one last look around the plaza at her friends and family,
knowing that she would probably never see them again, she turned to the
Federation people and said, "All right, I am ready now."

     ...Captain Kabeta knelt with her officers in front of Stephen and
Alexis.  Alexis, looking at the woman kneeling there, exclaimed, "Can this
be my Aunt Kabeta?  Oh, do get up, it's so good to see you!"

     ...Muirden, Aren, Quixote, and Kabeta arrived on Terim.  Aren and
Stephen greeted each other as friends.  Stephen turned to Kabeta: "Your
Highness, your presence honors me."


     Overcome by emotion, Kabeta dropped her head into her hands.  The
bridge crew heard her muttering, "The bastards.  The bastards.  Tas kandri.
[The bastards, in Xavionite]"
     No one on the bridge was quite sure how to react.  Finally, Lt. Cdr.
Kleber spoke up.  "Captain...er, I mean Your Majesty?"
     Kabeta snapped her head up.  "Don't *ever* call me that.  I don't
*want* to be queen, damn it!"
     Kleber looked a bit taken aback.  "Sorry, Captain, I didn't know."
     Kabeta softened a bit.  "No, of course you wouldn't have.  I'm sorry.
I had no right to take your head off like that."  She stared at the blank
screen.  "Give me the exterior visual."  The screen lit up to show the view
of Xavion and the space around it.
     Kabeta stood up.  "Right," she muttered.  She turned to Bradford.  He
was startled to see that her eyes were a cold steel blue.  Her face was set
in a severe expression, and she looked rather as if she wanted to take
someone's head off.  "Mark, I say we ram them."
     "What?" Mark burst out.  This didn't sound like the Kabeta he knew.
     "Look.  These bastards are destroying my home!  They've just killed my
last remaining close relative.  None of our weapons do anything against the
Borg right now.  If we take this ship in and ram them, we'll do some damage
and maybe give the other ships a chance to do more.
     Bradford was really worried now.  Kabeta was speaking sharply, fiercely,
in clipped tones.  She was starting to sound almost irrational.  "But that's
suicidal!" he heard Kleber exclaim.  Kabeta turned on her second officer.
"Yes, but so is sitting around doing nothing.  Do you really think I'm going
to sit here and let those mechanized monsters destroy my home planet?"
     Mark knew he had to tread carefully here.  Kabeta was obviously not
thinking clearly.  "Captain," he began calmly.  "I think you're letting your
emotional attachment to the planet -- which we can all sympathize with, I
think -- get in the way of your responsibilities as Captain of this starship."
     Kabeta spun around to face him again.  "Damn it, Mark!  I helped save
this planet from the Borg once before.  I've saved it from civil war once, and
fought in two other civil wars.  Do you really expect me to just let them have
their way while we sit here doing nothing?  I'll fly the ship into them myself
if I have to!"
     The bridge crew had all stopped what they were doing and were watching
this confrontation in increasing surprise.  Furd and yaz exchanged worried
looks behind the Captain's back.  Kendragon grabbed a sheet from her notepad
at the ops station and nervously began tearing it into bits.
     Mark was beginning to fear for not only the ship but the Captain's
sanity.  If something wasn't done quickly, he knew, Kabeta would be quite
capable of taking the ship into grave danger.  He could only think of one way
to shake her back to rationality.  He hated pulling rank on people, but in
this case there just didn't seem to be any other way.  He put on a stern face.
     "Captain," he began sharply.  "What you have proposed is suicidal and
there is no evidence that such extreme measures are necessary.  If you persist
in this insubordinate behavior and unnecessary endangerment of this vessel, I
will be forced to remove you from command."
     Kabeta winced.  She was not used to hearing this sort of tone from
Bradford.  She turned from him and looked at the image of Xavion on the
screen.  Maybe he's right, she thought.  But they're killing my people!
     Bradford watched as Kabeta turned away and looked at the screen.  She
turned back to face him, looking as if she were trying to stare him down.
His gaze did not waver.  Slowly, he saw some of the steel go out of her eyes.
She closed them, finally, and turned away.
     "You're right," she sighed.  "I... I don't know what got into me."  She
gave what might be considered a wry smile, if it were coming from someone
in a better state of mind.  "Too little sleep, and too much..." she looked
for the right word.  "Too much emotion."  She looked around the bridge at
the crew, who looked pretty shocked by the whole episode.  "I..I'm sorry,
everyone.  You didn't need to see that.  I..." she broke off, looking
embarrassed and at a loss for words.
     yaz came to her rescue.  "Hey, Captain, we understand.  I think that
any of us would probably have acted the same way."  Most of the bridge crew
nodded.
     Kabeta acknowledged his support with a grateful smile.  "Thanks, yaz."
She paused, looking around.  "I... I think I need a couple of minutes.  I'll
be in my Ready Room."  She turned and fled the bridge, remembering only at
the last minute to say, "Furd, you have the conn."

     Mark looked around the bridge at the shell-shocked officers.  "Okay,
everyone," he said gently, "let's get back to work here.  Mr. Furd, please
coordinate attacks with the _Chivalier_ and its task force when they arrive."
As Furd nodded, Mark continued, "I'll go talk to your Captain."  Slowly the
bridge crew turned to their tasks as Mark walked toward the doors to the
Ready Room.  As he left, Kleber saw a light on his panel.
     "Permission to leave the bridge, sir?"  he asked Furd.
     "What for?" asked the first officer.
     "Well, Lt. Cdr. Aoki is reporting something strange with the phaser
printer that he says I should know about.  I don't quite know why," he said,
puzzled.
     "Go ahead, then," Furd said.  "But come back quickly.  The _Chivalier_
should be here any moment, and I'll need you to help coordinate."
     "Aye, sir," said Kleber as he stood, nodded to Lt. JG Snark at
communications, and stepped onto the main turbolift.  On his way out, he
tapped a comm panel.  "Ananda, join me in Engineering, please."
     Almost immediately, Snark exclaimed, "Oh good Commander Furd, the word
we hear / From down upon the planet, hard besieged, / Is far from good; the
team requests our aid / In fleeing from the danger growing there."
     Furd took a second to sort through this iambic pentameter, then sharply
asked, "Then what are we waiting for?"  He hit a comm panel.  "Lieutenant
Lin-Elenuial, get the joint away team off the planet *now*."
     "Aye, Commander," came Iluvanna's voice back.  Moments later, he added,
"We've got them."
     "Good, " Furd drew a sigh of relief.  "Get Dr. Feelgood and Eliana and
their crew back to the _Melbourne_."

     Lt. Cdr. Edwin Aoki's computer center was a marvel of modern technology.
Everywhere you turned there was some electronic component -- computer parts,
monitors, nifty graphics displays -- the whole bit.  But as Lt. Cdr. Kleber
walked in, Aoki and the young Ship's Weenie, Ensign Mreen, were bent over one
of the basic pieces of equipment -- the phaser printer.
    "Ah, Commander, you're here," Aoki said, straightening up and adjusting
the stuffed tiger that sat smiling atop the printer.
     "Yes, though I must confess I don't quite know why you wanted *me* to
come look at your printer," Kleber said.
     "Well, I remembered back when we were dealing with that stele..." Aoki
began.
     "Oh, the one Scribonia and I brought back from Starbase 6502?" Kleber
interrupted.
     "That's the one," he said.  "I remembered that you said you could read
pretty much any dead language, and that's about the only thing I can think of
that this would be."  Aoki pointed to a bunch of almost-illegible squiggles
that covered the paper sticking out of the phaser printer.
     "Where did these come from?" Kleber asked as he leaned over the sheet
of paper.  As he did, Ananda, his apprentice, walked in clutching her ever-
present teddy bear.  She joined him at the printer.  "What's this mess?"
     Mreen spoke up.  "Damned if we know," he said.  "We were doing routine
maintenance on Pandora's anti-virus routines -- so we'd be ready for whatever
the Borg throw at us -- and the printer started up all by itself."
     "That's odd," said Kleber.  "That's about the third or fourth time
somebody's had a piece of the ship's equipment act up unexplainably today."
He bent over the squiggles again.  Slowly, an expression of understanding,
mixed with surprise, spread over his face.  "Of course," he whispered under
his breath.  "That would explain a lot."
     "What would?"  Aoki asked.  "Of course what?" asked Ananda.  "*I*
don't see anything here."
     "That's because you haven't had much practice with the dead-language
part of the job."  Kleber straightened up and turned to face his shipmates.  
"Gentlemen and lady," he began, "we have a ghost in the machine."

     Mark hesitated at the door to Kabeta's Ready Room.  After the scene on
the bridge, he didn't know what he would find.  The door chimed as he stepped
up to it.
     "Come in," a tired voice called from inside.
     He stepped through the doors, and stopped just inside.  "May I come in,
Captain?" he asked solicitously.
     Kabeta turned her chair around from the window to face him.  Bradford
was glad to see the angry steel had gone out of her eyes, but he noticed with
a shock that neither were there the usual gold flecks that brightened her
eyes.  They were merely a deep, dull blue.  She looked drained and exhausted,
he thought, as he noted tear stains and the ever-present bags under her eyes.
     "Of course," she said in a voice that only served to bolster his initial
impression.  "Take a seat."
     He drew up a chair and seated himself across the desk from her.  She
looked down at the desk top and then back up at him as she picked up an acorn
from a small dish and began fidgeting with it.
     "Captain..." he began, but got no further before she interrupted.
     "Don't say it, Admiral," she said.  "I know I really blew that one."
     "That isn't what I was going to say at all," he said, smiling gently.
"I was going to ask if you were all right."
     "No," she said, smiling wryly.  "That should be obvious.  But I'm more
or less under control, which is about the best I could hope for right now."
She turned slightly away from Mark, biting her lip, and then turned back.
"Mark, I'm scared," she admitted.  "Scared for me, scared for Xavion, scared
for everyone and everything."
     "Me, too," the Vice Admiral nodded.  "You'd have to be stupid not to be."
     "But it's more than that," Kabeta went on.  "It's because of me the Borg
are even here at Xavion.  If it weren't for what they learned about me from
Anthony, they'd never have come."
     Aha, Mark thought.  I thought there was more to this than just the loss
of her relatives.  He was about to say something soothing when Kabeta burst
out with:
     "And I can't even do anything about it!"
     "Why not?" Mark asked.  "You've got one of the best ships in the fleet
right here, a whole task force of ships, and another one on the way."
     "And *they* have the only person in the world who knows me well enough
to out-think me," Kabeta shot back.
     "Morgan?"
     "Of course.  We were best friends at the Academy, and stayed in touch
long after that.  He knows how I think.  He knows how I react.  How am I
supposed to beat someone who knows exactly what I'm likely to do?"
     "Something unlikely, obviously."
     Kabeta stared at Bradford for a few seconds, and then burst out laughing.
     "I suppose that is the answer, isn't it."  She paused.  "But how?"
     "Well," Bradford began, confident that he had her on the right track now,
"from what I understand, you haven't talked to him much lately.  And this
ship's crew *is* known for its odd behavior..."
     Kabeta leaned back in her chair, smiling and laughing internally.  "Some-
times to my distinct consternation," she cracked.  "But you're right, they
are about the best I've ever met at what Admiral Avenger calls 'perpendicular
thinking'."
     "And while the Borg may be fond of cubes, I don't think they've quite
caught on to that particular facet of human thought," Bradford finished.
     Kabeta stood up, gold in her eyes and purpose in her movements.
"Admiral, I think we need a mass officers' meeting."
     Bradford stood up with her.  "Agreed."

     Back in the computer center, Aoki and Mreen stared at Kleber.  "A ghost?"
Mreen asked, incredulous.  Ananda looked at her mentor, then suddenly nodded.
     "Near as I can figure," Kleber said.  "He's sent me a message in old
Chapakwidic, quite a thoroughly dead language.  Apparently, he's been trying
to communicate with someone all day."  He turned to address the phaser printer
-- admittedly, rather an odd image, as people don't *usually* hold
conversations with their printers!
     "Hello, ghost," he said.  "This is the Speaker for the Dead.  Can you
talk to me?"  Kleber watched, almost astonished, as a ghostly figure rose out
of the printer and faced him.  Ananda gasped, while Aoki and Mreen looked at
each other, bewildered.
     "Hello," said the figure to Kleber.  "My name, for lack of a better one,
is Bodiless."
     Kleber nodded.  "Bodiless, why haven't you approached someone directly?"
     Bodiless wavered slightly.  "I can't.  I can only possess machines, not
people.  I was awfully glad when I found out there was a Speaker for the Dead
on board -- at last, someone I can talk to."
     "Why did you wait so long to do anything?" Kleber asked.
     "We are about to go into battle, is that right?" Bodiless asked.  Kleber
nodded.  The ghost went on, "Well, if the ship goes down..."
     Kleber caught on.  "So do you."
     "Exactly," Bodiless continued.  "And, though being a ghost certainly
isn't as much fun as being alive, it's much better being a ghost in the
_Heisenberg_'s machines than in the cold of deep space."
     "I understand," Kleber said.  "But what do you want me to do?"
     "I don't know."  The ghost sounded plaintive.  "But there must be some-
thing!"
     Kleber thought for a moment.  "Ahh, I know.  I bet our resident sorceress
knows how to exorcise a ghost."
     Bodiless smiled, at least as much as a disembodied entity can smile.
"I knew you'd think of something."
     Kleber looked slightly embarassed.  "Yes, well..."
     He didn't quite finish, as he was interrupted by a communicator bleep.
"Kabeta to the computer center."
     Kleber tapped the wall panel.  "Here, Captain."
     "Commander, I need you and Aoki and Mreen on the bridge.  The
_Chivalier's_ almost here and we need to plot a strategy."
     Kleber smiled at the renewed hope in the Captain's voice.  "On our way."
He turned back to the ghost.  "I'll talk to the Sorceress just as soon as I
can," he said.
     "Thanks," Bodiless said as he slowly sank back into the printer.
     "Oh, one more thing," Kleber suddenly said.  "Please try not to
possess anything critical -- or the coffee-maker either, we may need it."
     "Understood," said the ghost with just a hint of amusement in his
voice as he disappeared.
     Kleber turned to leave the computer center, and saw Aoki and Mreen
staring at him.  Only then did he realize that they had not been able to
hear a word Bodiless said.  He smiled.  "I'll explain later," he said.
"C'mon, there's work to do."  Ananda took one last look at the printer before
following the others out.

     The _Chivalier_ bridge crew watched the viewscreen as the image of
Xavion grew larger.  "Good God," muttered Commander Carter under his breath.
It was a disturbing image -- at least three Borg cubes, including one
unusually large one that looked uncannily like a more cubical LMC1.  The
planet itself was shrouded with rocks and debris, the remnants of two of
Xavion's three moons.  The _Heisenberg_ , _Melbourne_, and some of their task
force sat out of sight of the Borg ship behind the remaining moon while some
of the smaller ships performed largely futile attacking maneuvers among the
Borg ships, darting back to cover behind the planet.
     Captain Chow drew in his breath.  Vice Admiral Data merely put on a
slightly quizzical expression.  "Lt. Yee, please direct half our task force
to join those attack maneuvers," he said.
     "Aye, sir," said the con officer, quickly dispatching the ships.
"Though..."
     "Yes?"  said Captain Chow.
     "Well, I was just thinking, it doesn't look like they're having much
luck, does it."
     Chow looked at the screen.  "No, it doesn't really."  He looked to Data.
     "The lieutenant is quite correct," the android said.  "However, I
believe keeping the Borg occupied while we conceive a better strategy would
be useful."
     "But what will we ever do?" asked Captain Chow to himself.

     On the bridge of the _Heisenberg_, the crew was about to tackle that
very question.  More people than ever usually occupy that space had crowded
themselves into it.  Kabeta stood leaning against the front viewscreen with
Bradford next to her.  Furd, Kleber, and Jiapa sat in the three main chairs,
while Kendragon and O'Forever occupied the ops and con stations, respectively.
Thokk stood at tactical, with Snark at communications and yaz at the science
station.  McDonagh, Matt Ender, Aoki, and Mreen leaned on the railing, while
Iluvanna stood near the turbolift and Dr. Hertzman sat on the ramp from the
turbolift to the main floor of the bridge.
     "Thanks, everyone, for joining us."  Kabeta smiled at the collection
of people, her friends and co-workers for all this time.  "As you know, we're
facing" -- she gestured toward the viewscreen behind her -- "a serious battle
here.  What you may or may not know, though, is that the speaker of the lead
Borg ship is a one-time close friend of mine who knows me, and my thought
patterns, very well."  She swallowed hard.  "What he doesn't know, though, is
the myriad strengths of this crew.  So, I'm asking you all for suggestions.
Anything, no matter how crazy it sounds -- maybe even the crazier the better."
     "Well..." McDonagh spoke up from his perch on the railing.  "I did have
this one really off-the-wall idea..."
     "What else would you expect?" whispered Thokk to Ensign Fodder, the
junior security officer standing near the turbolift.
     "Go ahead, Commander," Bradford prompted.
     "I was thinking about the time we had to deal with the Hidden Valley
Ranchers back in the past, and the time we had to get out of Doh.  What
would happen if we hooked the holo-projectors to the shields, disguising
the ship and confusing the Borg?"
     Kabeta looked thoughtful.  "Mark, what do you think?" she asked.  "I
think it might actually be useful."
     Bradford nodded slowly.  "It might well.  But what exactly would you do?"
     "From what I've heard," the _Heisenberg_'s resident alien observer said
in his oddly feline voice, "the Ranchers were quite successful with a holo-
cloaking device they used to make their ships look exactly like any other
ship they wanted, fooling sensors and visual identifications."
     Lt. O'Forever said, "If we fly in close to them disguised as... oh, I
don't know, a hippopotamus or something..." The officers burst out laughing.
"I just used some random example!" the con officer protested, then continued.
"If we got close disguised, maybe they'd get confused, wouldn't be able to
defend themselves, and that would allow the other ships to blast them?"
     "But we can't risk telling the other ships what's going on, for fear
the Borg would intercept," said Kleber.
     "Unless you and Snark come up with a way of scrambling communications
they don't know about," said Furd.  "You've interfered with their communi-
cations before, during the Lucky Borg mess."
     "As has the captain, way back during the Dilemma," commented Kleber.
     "Captain, if I may help?" came the voice of an ensign in science blue,
whose long hair showed an unnerving tendency to reshape itself without warning.
     "Yes, Ensign...?" Kabeta didn't recognize this newcomer to the bridge.
     "K-thleen Aoiai," the ensign said.  "Xenolinguistics.  I just transfered
over."
     "I meant to introduce you," said Kleber, a little embarrassed.
     "Welcome aboard, Ensign Aoiai," Kabeta said warmly.  "I'll be needing
any help you can offer to put this plan into action."
     "But will it work?  Will it confuse them enough?" asked Jiapa.
     That being the question on everyone's mind, the bridge fell silent save
for computer hums and bleeps.  Finally, Mark shrugged.
     "Who knows?" he said.  "But it's the best idea I've heard lately."
     "Can you rig it up, Mr. McDonagh?" asked Kabeta.
     The Silly Support specialist got a slightly mischievous look on his face.
"Give me a few hours and some help, and we'll have a flying hippopotamus that
will fool even the Borg!"
     Kabeta cracked a smile and shook her head.  "All right, we'll try it.
Mr. McDonagh, take Mr. Aoki, Mr. Mreen, Mr. Lin-Elenuial, and anyone else you
need and go to it.  Mr. Kleber, you and Mr. Snark are on communications duty;
I'll help you when I can.  I see the _Chivalier_ and company are here, so Mr.
O'Forever, I want you to coordinate with Euge Yee.  I understand he's been
showing some rather remarkable tactical and navigational skill these days..."
She checks a chronometer and looks up.  "I don't know how much longer the
smaller ships, even with what appear to be the _Chivalier_'s joining in, will
be able to keep the Borg busy.  And I'd rather not sacrifice more lives than
we have to.  So work quickly, and keep me posted.  Let's go."
     The bridge emptied as the crew rushed to their posts.  Mark laid a hand
on Kabeta's shoulder.
     "That sounded a little more hopeful, Captain," he commented.
     Kabeta looked up at him.  "Thanks to you, mostly," she said.

     On the _Melbourne_, Counselor Eliana stumbled into her husband's arms
as she returned to their quarters after leaving the _Heisenberg_.
     "Oh, Aren," she sobbed.  "It's horrible down there.  I don't know what
we will ever do."
     Aren held her gently to him.  "I know," he said.  "Captain Muirden is
taking the _Melbourne_ into the combat as soon as he can coordinate with
Kabeta.  We will stop them."  In a private corner of his mind, he added, "I
hope."

     From the back of the _Chivalier_ bridge, Runaway Daemon puzzled over a
transmission from the _Heisenberg_.
     "What have they done to this?" he asked no one in particular.
     "I was wondering that too," said Euge, bringing a copy of a transmission
he'd received from the _Heisenberg_ too.  "Either they've completely lost it
over there, or they've come up with some really novel way of hiding communi-
cations from the Borg."
     Lt. JG Aedoni joined them in examining the cryptic messages.  "I think
it is probably the latter.  Lt. Cdr. Kleber and Captain Kabeta both have
experience in intercepting and disguising communications from the Borg."
     Daemon looked up.  "Hmm," he said.  "Harry, access records relating
Captain Kabeta, Lt. Cdr. Kleber, and Borg communications."
     "Holy Cow!" exclaimed Harry.  "They're two for two, and going for
three!"
     "Okay," said Daemon, getting slightly excited.  "So, look here and
here.  If we use this system Kabeta used to decode the Borg's own messages
but in reverse..."
     "...and filter it through the computer code Kleber used to send them
commands during the Lucky Borg attack..." added Euge.
     "...then we get something that makes some sense!" finished Aedoni.
     "If you like iambic pentameter, anyway," grumbled Daemon.
     Carter came back to see what all the noise was about.  "What are you
babbling about?" he asked.
     Daemon read the deciphered message on the screen.  "Um, Commander...
looks like the _Heisenberg_ has something up its sleeve."

     The _Heisenberg_ bridge was tense as Kabeta, Kleber, and Snark stood
next to the communications console, waiting for some response from the other
ships.  yaz and Zenador stood at the science console, feeding information on
hippopotami to McDonagh, Aoki, Mreen, and Iluvanna down in Engineering.  Thokk
hovered over tactical, monitoring shield strength.  Furd helped Bradford
coordinate the task force's attack maneuvers with those led by Data from the
_Chivalier_, as Jiapa helped Kendragon fine-tune the ops console.
     yaz flipped furiously through pages of electronic information about
animals.  "Ibex, leopard, nilgai..."
     "Nilgai?" asked Zenador, incredulously.
     "Some sort of slate-blue antelope," yaz said.  "Rhinoceros... ah,
hippopotamus.  Got that down there?" he asked into the comm panel.
     "Got it," came McDonagh's voice.  "But do you happen to know what
color they usually are?  The only ones I've ever run into have been animated."
     "I haven't the foggiest idea," said Zenador.  He tapped another comm
panel.  "Guillaume?"
     "Yes?" came the librarian's voice.
     "What color is a hippopotamus?" asked yaz, slightly self-conscious at
the ridiculousness of the question.
     "Um, let me look it up," Lt. de Fontaine replied.  "Let's see, that
would be under C, for 'color,' of course...  Hmm, doesn't seem to have
anything.  Have you tried the Vice Lieutenant Deputy Undersecretary for
Mostly Useless Trivia?"
     "Good idea.  yaz out."  He then got hold of Ens. "Tea Man" Goldhaber,
who, for reasons now obscure, was also known as Loga.  "Got a question that's
right up your alley," he said.  "What color is a hippo?"
     "Oh, that's easy," Ensign Goldhaber said.  "A cross between sepia and
burnt umber."
     "Er, thanks," came McDonagh's voice.  Before he cut the connection,
one could here him asking the others in Engineering, "Anyone got a box of
crayons?"

     Kleber suddenly spoke up.  "There!  A message back from the _Melbourne_.
Lt. Cdr. Fox interpreted our message, and they're ready."
     "Good," said Kabeta.  "Now we just need to get the _Chivalier_ on board,
and we'll be all set."  She paused.  "I wonder just what they thought of what
we sent them."

     "They want WHAT?" asked Captain Chow.
     "Apparently, they're going to confuse the Borg with a disguise and they
want us to attack the lead Borg ship as soon as they make their closest
pass," Carter said.
     "This is crazy," said Chow.  "They'll get themselves killed that way!"
     "I thought so too," said Euge.  "But I got a message from their con
officer, G. O'Forever, who gave me some idea what maneuvers he'll be using.
He's a good navigator, so they do have half a chance."
     "But what's the disguise?" asked Chow.
     "We don't know," admitted Carter.  "They wouldn't tell us -- security
reasons, I guess.  The message said it would be obvious."
     "All right," said Chow.  Under his breath he added, "I hope they know
what they're doing."
     "The _Heisenberg_?" Euge, overhearing, asked.  "Naah -- but it usually
works out anyway."  He settled into his seat, ready for anything, but
especially complicated navigation.

     "Yes!"  exclaimed Kabeta.  "The _Chivalier_ figured it out, and they're
on."  She walked down to the center of the bridge.  "Mr. O'Forever, have you
coordinated with Lt. Yee?"
     "Obviously!" O'Forever's fingers were flying over his console, getting
maneuvers ready.
     "Good," the captain said.  "Yours is just about the most important role
here -- because we're going to have to get out fast -- they'll try to lock on
and/or destroy us immediately.  Have Avenger's Revenge ready for the tractor
beams if necessary."
     "Aye, sir."
     "Stop calling me sir!" Kabeta snapped good-humoredly, hiding her own
anxiety.  She turned to Mark.  "Are you ready?"
     "Are any of us, really?" he responded philosophically, as he had done
so often.  "More importantly, is McDonagh?" he went on.
     Kabeta tapped a comm panel.  "Mr. McDonagh, are you ready down there?"
     McDonagh's voice came over the communicators.  "Just about, Captain.
Ensign Metag provided us with the necessary gravity equipment, and it's just
about all hooked up.  Iluvanna's coordinating the Silmarils to enhance the
effect.  But you have to understand -- if the shields drop below about 50
percent, the image will be gone and we'll be sitting ducks for the Borg.
And the energy involved in this will mean we have only the aft Crouton
torpedoes and no phasers available."
     "Understood, Commander.  How much longer?"
     "Have Thokk boost the shields up to maximum," the engineer said, "and
we'll turn it on."
     Kabeta turned to face the giant security chief.  "Go for it, Lt.," she
said.  Turning to Kleber, she asked for a shipwide channel.  As he nodded,
she slowly turned to face the bridge, and, by extension, the whole ship.
     "Hello everyone, this is the Captain," she began.  "We are about to
face the most desperate situation we, or at least I, have ever been in.  The
odds against us are long, but we have here one of the greatest collections of
skill and talent ever assembled against an enemy.  Do your jobs as I know you
can do them.  Be creative, and surprise even yourselves with your ingenuity."
She paused, and swallowed.  "If we do not succeed, there may very well be no
one left to tell our story.  But if we do succeed, the story will never be
forgotten.  Do your best, and no one can ask more.  As soon as we are ready,
we will begin.  Kabeta out."
     She sat down in her chair.  Furd moved to his chair, and Jiapa took a
seat on the other side of the captain.  The others moved to their places, Mark
standing at the railing next to Thokk behind the captain's chair.  Kabeta
tapped a comm panel.  "Ready, Mr. McDonagh?"
     "Ready as we're going to be, Captain."
     "Commence Operation Sleight of Hand," Kabeta said, looking up to Mark
for support.  Inside, she was shaking, but she knew that now of all times,
she needed to be strong for her crew.  All she had to do was look at Lt.
Hutchings, Insecurity Officer, who was living up to his title.  "R-r-ready,"
he stammered, when Thokk asked him if the aft Crouton torps were set.
     Slowly, the _Heisenberg_ moved out from behind the moon Terim.

     The _Chivalier_ braced itself as it saw something start to move from
behind the moon.  As it became clear, jaws on the bridge dropped.
     "A *hippo*?" Commander Carter stared, disbelieving.
     Captain Chow shook his head.  "What is it with that crowd and hippos?"
he asked.
     Vice Admiral Data commented, "Most peculiar.  But perhaps it will
suffice to confuse the Borg."
     "Lt. Yee, get in position for the attack," said Chow.
     "Aye, sir," Euge said and began directing the ship from the shadow of
Xavion, noting as he did that the _Melbourne_, _Terry Nation_, and other
ships were also assuming an attack formation just out of the Borg ships'
sight.

     Antonius of Borg watched impassively on the former LMC1 viewscreen as
that ship and the others slowly ripped the planet Xavion to pieces.  The part
of his consciousness that still represented Anthony Morgan was puzzled.  Had
he really misjudged Kabeta Andreevna Gorovin that badly?  Why had she not
responded to the Borg attack on her home planet with greater strength?  Her
ship and the others had remained in hiding behind the planet and its remaining
moon, only sending the smaller, more maneuverable ships to attack.
     And then it appeared.  Over the rim of the remaining moon, which the Borg
for inscrutable reasons of their own had chosen not to destroy, an enormous,
starship-sized...something.  The Uni-Mind searched for an identification,
and from Morgan's human memory pulled the image of a hippopotamus.
     It made no sense.  A hippopotamus could not be that large, nor could it
survive in space.  Perhaps some sort of spaceship?  But if so, where had it
come from, and how had it been made a hippopotamus?  It seemed a useful
technology, and Antonius offered the standard challenge.
     "Porcinity is irrelevant," he spoke with the voice of millions of Borg.
"Hippopotamus vessel," he said, "you show an unusual technology.  Prepare to
be assimilated or we will destroy you."

     "Now!" cried Kabeta to her con officer.  "Thokk, once we're past the
cubes, fire aft torpedoes if we still have the energy."
     Lt. G. O'Forever moved the hippopotamus-_Heisenberg_ closer to the
former LMC1.  Tension on the bridge grew as the ship moved within range of
the deadly Borg tractor beams.  As they passed closest, Kabeta closed her
eyes.  "Please, Richard, Chi, Wayne... we need this now."
     Suddenly, they felt the unmistakeable pull of a Borg tractor beam
locking on...

     "Now!" cried Captain Chow as he saw the tractor beam latch onto the
hippopotamus.  "Fire all weapons!"  Lt. Janson launched everything he could
at the lead Borg ship, joined by fire from all the nearby ships.

     "Avenger's Revenge!" cried Bradford.  "Get us out of this, O'Forever!"
     "Shields dropping!" warned Thokk.  "80 percent.  70 percent."
     Lt. O'Forever threw the ship into random rotations, trying to break
the tractor lock. As the tractor beam lost hold, he hit all thrusters,
spinning the ship in a complicated maneuver underneath the cube and out of
range of the tractor beams.  Thokk fired two weakened torpedoes at the Borg
ship, which absorbed them.

     The Borg could not analyze the sudden chain of events.  They lowered
and modified their shielding to deal with the apparent weapons weakness of
the strange new ship.  

     On the _Melbourne_, Captain Muirden shouted, "Fire!  Anything and
everything!"

     The Crouton torpedoes and phasers from the combined ships blasted into
the lead Borg ship -- the former LMC1 .  Two torpedoes from the _Chivalier_
narrowly missed the _Heisenberg_ as it dropped "under" the cube; one from 
the _Melbourne_ hit, causing minor damage, and sending the _Heisenberg_
into a spin.
     O'Forever wrenched the ship into control, but the torque was more than
the compensators could handle. The ship rocked wildly, sending people falling
all over the bridge.
     "What are you doing up there?" cried a distraught Metag over the 
intercom.  "The AG can't cope with stunts like that."
     "Sorry, Ensign," answered Kabeta, picking herself up off the floor.
"Some friendly fire, I think.  Damage report!"
     "Shields down to 40 percent!  Hologram effect vanishing!" cried yaz
from the _Heisenberg_ bridge.
     "GET US OUT OF HERE!" Kabeta shouted at O'Forever.
     As the _Heisenberg_ returned to its true shape, O'Forever spun the ship
out of harm's way.

     Aren and Eliana stood at the back of the _Melbourne_ bridge as the
ships barraged the area nearest the _Heisenberg_ on the lead Borg ship.
Suddenly, the one-time LMC1 exploded in a shower of metal and cubical bits.

     "Hot damn!" cried Carter.  "It worked!"
     The expanding shell of debris spread dangerously fast.  The Federation
ships scattered out of the way, but before Chow or Data could order the
_Chivalier_ to follow suit, Euge took the ship in a corkscrew pattern to a
safe position near Terim.
     "You really have been studying, haven't you," Carter said, impressed.

     Kabeta stared at the viewscreen as the _Heisenberg_ came to a stop just
out of weapons range.  When her stomach settled from the wild maneuvers, she
whispered, "It worked.  It actually worked."  She walked to the con station
and wordlessly grasped O'Forever's hand.
     "The lead ship is destroyed," Kendragon reported.  The entire bridge
crew looked out at the cloud of debris spreading rapidly around the planet,
mixing with the remnants of the two moons.
     Bradford was already talking into an inter-ship communicator, directing
several task force ships which followed the other two Borg cubes as they fled
the destruction of their leader.

     The _Heisenberg_, _Chivalier_, _Melbourne_, and other ships met up at a
safe distance from the planet.  They began the slow journey back to Earth,
knowing that the Borg threat to Xavion -- and, it seemed, to the Federation --
was gone.  Some of the task force ships were still pursuing the remaining Borg
ships, but they appeared headed out of Federation space altogether.
     On the _Heisenberg_ itself, there was quiet celebration amid the
beginnings of repairs to the shields.  Lt. Cdr. Kleber caught up with Polgara,
the Ship's Sorceress, in the corridor.
     "Polgara," he said, "I've got something I need to ask you about."
     "Of course, Michael," she said.  "What do you need -- a Sleep spell to
calm down after all the excitement?"
     "No," he smiled, "I don't think I'll need that.  No, what I had in mind
was an exorcism, actually."
     "An *exorcism*?" Polgara asked, concerned.  "I hadn't noticed you were
possessed."
     "I'm not," Kleber said.  "The ship is.  We've got a ghost in the
machine."
     "How do you know?" she asked.
     "I'm the Speaker for the Dead.  Turns out I'm also the Speaker to the
Dead.  He can't talk to anyone else, he said."  Kleber paused.  "Actually, I
guess he doesn't need an exorcism now; he was worried about what would happen
if the ship went down.  But you should probably meet him anyway.  C'mon, I'll
introduce you."  He headed in the general direction of the computer center.
     "Wait, where?"
     "Well, last I saw he'd possessed the phaser printer..."  They walked
away.

     Kabeta stood in Engineering, along with Bradford, McDonagh, Aoki,
Mreen, Lin-Elenuial, Metag, and O'Forever.  "Thank you all," she began.
"That was extraordinary."
     Bradford smiled.  "You're probably going to get a maneuver named after
you."  He chuckled.  "I wonder what Avenger would have thought of this
particular bit of perpendicular thinking."
     McDonagh grinned.  "The Hippopotamus Maneuver?"
     Kabeta smiled back.  "Not a bad name.  Silly..."
     "...but what else would you expect from the _Heisenberg_?" asked
O'Forever as he and Kabeta and Bradford went to return to the bridge.  As
they passed a window, Kabeta paused and looked out at the remnants of the
Borg ship now starting to form a cloud around her home planet.
     "Forgive me, Anthony," she whispered.

------------------------------------------------------------------ 
Next time, on
                STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION
                        "The Perfect Game"
                       Part 19: "After Math"

The war with the Borg is over...
Aedoni:  Cool.

...and few can believe how it happened.
Chow:  I still can't believe she did that.
Avenger/Crossfire (smiling):  Same old Kabeta.

Star Fleet is in flux...
Himle:  We've been promoted.
Chuang:  Transferred to new ships.

...and the political maneuvering is about to begin.
Bloocheez:  Excellent.

ADMINISTRIVIA on the next STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION!