 |
||||
The doors opened and Avenger marched out onto the bridge with the usual
strong purpose to his stride. More than one cadet had been thrown to the
floor when fate brought him too close...and then there were all the people
Avenger ran into AFTER he graduated from the Academy...
Soraya approached him from one of the science stations. "Star Fleet
Command is waiting on line 3."
Noting Highlander's absence with a narrowing of his eyes, Avenger waved
Soraya to follow. "You have the bridge, Mr. Himle."
"Aye, sir," replied Himle from ops before turning to to stick his tongue
out at Neal.
"Tea, peppermint, 302K." Avenger ordered as he entered the Ready Room,
finishing before reaching the food slot. He picked up his tea and glided to
the chair, spinning the terminal around so Soraya could see it. "Zen, open
Channel D."
"Channel D is not a valid selection. Please repeat your request."
"Line 3 please," Avenger grumbled. The image of Admiral Paul Murgrave
formed on the viewer.
"We've got good news and bad news. Which would you rather have first?"
"What's the good news?" wondered Soraya.
"Captain Kabeta just reported in. The _Heisenberg_ is safe and sound.
I won't go into a lot of detail now, but she has obtained a great deal of
intelligence on the Hidden Valley Ranch situation. Not only that, but she
and Governor Bloocheez--"
"GOVERNOR Bloocheez???" Soraya and Avenger exclaimed incredulously.
"Well, close enough. He offered a promise of mutual aggression against
the Borg and Kabeta took it. The HVR won't give us any trouble until we're
done with the Borg."
"Are you sure about this, Admiral?" asked Soraya unbelievingly.
"If Kabeta brought this back, I think we can be assured of it," said
Avenger. He shook his head in disbelief. "She never ceases to amaze me."
"What's the bad news, Admiral?" Soraya asked.
"The Borg are attacking isolated areas of Federation space as we speak,"
Murgrave continued. "There seems to be little rhyme or reason to their
selection of targets, but I'm sure we'll figure them out sooner or later.
Keep your eyes out, but don't get too far away, okay? If they decide to
attack Earth, you may be our last defense."
"Let's hope it doesn't come to that," said Avenger. "Anything else to
report, Paul?"
"No." Murgrave looked nervous to Avenger for some reason. "How are
things going for you?"
"Pretty well. I think we may have a few tricks up our sleeve when the
time comes..." Avenger paused. "There's a fine group of people on this
ship. If they can't do the job, I don't know who will."
"Well, good luck to us all. Murgrave out."
The terminal went black, leaving Avenger and Soraya in silence.
"Something strange is up at Star Fleet," Avenger finally said. "I
wonder what was eating at Paul."
"Maybe it's just the burden of the whole situation?" Soraya suggested.
Avenger simply shrugged his shoulders. Something was definitely up,
but they weren't telling him what. Why would they conceal something from a
former Star Fleet Commander?
FADE TO BLACK
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION
"The Perfect Game"
Part 8: "Dealing Deuces"
Written by The Admiral
Guest stars
Denzel Washington as Antonius
Bjorn Borg as Bjorn of Borg
Rick Berman as Paul Murgrave
Lalla Ward as T'Kreila
Gary Hren as qey'rI
Lycia Naff as Captain Sonya Gomez
Introducing the crew of the _USS Volvo_:
Karl Bundy as the Captain
John Heins as Number One
Lisa Goodrich as Counselor Wombat
Gary Hren as the Chief Engineer
Tom Youtz as the Con Lt. Cdr./Second Officer
Jennifer Fakolt as the Ops Lt.
Mel Gibson as Security Chief Lt. Max
Bruce Biggs as the Bartender
David "SPAM (TM)" Meyers as Ensign SPAM (TM)
...and many more
Music by Wojciech Kilar
Directed by Mad Bob the Avenger
[1] In case you don't know, this is a quote from _Apocalypse Now_.
[2] "Jyxoqyz" is the word for the sound a cat makes when he gets his
genitals caught in something. [From an episode of _Red Dwarf_.]
[3] Arthur Dent, _The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy_
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
"We've been retuning the hand phasers for higher EM emission, since the
Borg seemed to be holding up pretty well in the bands we used to use against
them."
"Good idea," said Avenger. "How about new randomizers? Perhaps a
different seed in each phaser? They figure them out too damn quickly."
"I already counted on that," noted Crossfire, as walked through the crew
decks. "Jez and Rhee have several people working solely on that problem."
"I wonder what varying the frequency during a single shot would do?"
Avenger thought aloud.
Approaching one room, they heard boisterous laughter. While Crossfire
was prepared to ignore it, Avenger stopped, smiled, shrugged his shoulders
and tapped the door chime.
"Come in," called Savvie cheerily.
Avenger entered, practically dragging Crossfire in by the arm. Inside,
Savvie, Soraya, Highlander, Jez, Rhee and Neon sat around a large poker table.
The smile on Highlander's face slid away as he noticed Avenger.
"I'm glad you've all, um, found a way to relax," said Avenger.
Savvie, a little happier than he might have been when completely sober,
stood to greet them. "Admiral! Crossfire!! Why don't you join us!"
Looking at Highlander, Avenger replied. "Another time perhaps, Matt.
How's the game going?"
All eyes turned to the growing pile of chips in front of the Scotsman.
"Guess," complained Neon, whose pile was smallest.
"Well, at least I'm learning something," added Rhee, whose pile wasn't
much larger.
"What about you, Crossfire?" asked Savvie.
"What ABOUT me?"
"Aw, come on, Crossfire," said Soraya. "Lighten up."
"Missy isn't here, Soraya."
Jez and Rhee chuckled.
"Come on, Crossfire," whined Neon. "You can't do any worse than me."
"No, I doubt I could," admitted Crossfire. "But I don't really think I
should. I haven't played this game in *years*."
"Pleeeease," pleaded Rhee and Soraya, the latter of whom nodded her head
toward Highlander with a wink as she spoke.
"Sure, go ahead," pushed Avenger. "I'd love to see this."
"Me too," hinted Neon.
"Oh, all right!" agreed Crossfire.
* * * * *
"So, Dave..." Susan Parker strolled toward the science station from
the open turbolift. "Is it working yet?"
"Well," began Dave Kindig, who'd just been promoted (finally) to the
rank of Lt. JG after untold years as a Star Fleet Ensign. (I guess that
physics degree wasn't totally worthless!) "I installed it per Fox's plans
and I thought it was working, but then I started getting all these weird
blips over here." He pointed to some anomalous gravitational "bumps" on
the previous sensor scans.
Susan leaned down closer to examine them. "Have you checked for any
sort of malfunctions or background noise? Maybe a cold neutron star, brown
dwarf, micro black hole, that sort of thing?"
"Nothing that's on our charts. I just don't get it."
"Maybe they're real readings?"
"I sure hope not," Dave thought aloud.
"Why don't we run it one more time, just to be sure."
* * * * *
The _Ian Fleming_ class vessel _USS QIb_ (yes, it finally has a name!)
dropped out of warp amidst the outer gas giants of a harsh-looking star
system. Gliding past a sulfur-covered moon, it slowed to 1/4 sublight and
continued on its scenic tour.
"Are we there yet?" teased T'Kreila from the back of the small bridge.
T'Lilith turned the command chair about to look straight at her sister.
Dressed out in the body armor of an ordinary Klingon woman, T'Kreila appeared
happier than she had in some time. The anticipation on her face was evident
as she fastened up a loose buckle at one shoulder.
"You look set to defend the family honor," joked T'Lilith.
"If need be," replied T'Kreila in a more serious Vulcan tone.
T'Lilith stood and stretched, the loose-fitting black meditation robe
riding up her back momentarily to reveal the plain blue Star Fleet medical
jumpsuit she wore underneath. "I suppose I should get dressed up for this
momentous occasion?" T'Lilith queried rather sarcastically.
"I would appreciate it." T'Kreila moved down to take the con station.
She paused, running her hands across the sleek control panel. "It has been
a long time since I flew a ship this size. You have a Duj 'IH [beautiful
ship] here, be'nI' tIn [big sister]. Easily the best design Star Fleet has
put out in years."
"Some would not say so. If you need me, I'll be--"
The communications and security alert beacons chirped suddenly, bringing
the women's attention to the viewscreen ahead, just as a Klingon bird of prey
decloaked ahead of them.
"Should I answer the hail?" asked T'Kreila with a mischevious grin.
"Or should I just blast them?"
"On screen, if you please." T'Lilith self-consciously pulled the robe
tighter about her.
A tall, thin Klingon captain slouched in the undersized throne at the
center of his bridge, but sat up straight when he saw to whom he was speaking.
"t'lilit, what an unexpected pleasure," smiled Commander qey'rI. "When
we detected a Federation ship approaching the homeworld, I had no idea it
would be yours we would be escorting."
T'Kreila cleared her throat twice. T'Lilith looked uncomfortable.
"qey'rI, you remember my sister...?"
"t'Qayla'?!" qey'rI exclaimed, examining her. "I heard you were lost
some years ago..."
"Apparently, I was found again," said T'Kreila. Ashamed, she admitted,
"I was a prisoner of a dishonorable species."
"And we are here to warn you that they are at it again," interjected
T'Lilith.
"We have already made ready for the borgh," spat qey'rI. He broke into
a toothy grin. "But come, we are to escort you to the homeworld! We can talk
more in person while we prepare for the coming battle!" He looked at T'Kreila
specifically. "It is *very* good to see you again."
T'Lilith absent-mindedly twirled her wedding ring about her finger.
* * * * *
"Full house, kings over tens," smiled Neon as he laid down his cards.
"F***!" exclaimed Highlander, throwing down his cards. "Beats my pair."
Rhee giggled teasingly at Highlander. He responded by tossing a handful
of pretzels in her direction.
Neon looked expectantly to Crossfire, waiting to spring and reel in the
pile of chips from the middle of the table. Crossfire finally spoke, deadpan.
"Well, all *I've* got is three."
And at that, Crossfire turned over four of them.
Avenger could not contain himself and spewed Dr. Pepper all over Jez as
he erupted in a laugh. Reacting like a normal feline, Jez leapt across the
table, knocked over his milk and ran frenzied into the corridor.
"Broke again?!?" Neon exclaimed as he stood up. "I have GOT to stop
playing this stupid game!"
Crossfire reeled in his winnings, making his pile of chips by far the
largest. In fact, the only other member of the game with any significant
portion of his chips remaining was Highlander.
"Garth, how do you *do* it?" wondered Avenger, shaking his head in
disbelief.
"Red alert! Admiral to the bridge!" exclaimed Susan from the wall panel,
just before Zen kicked in the klaxons and blinking red lights.
"Red alert! Red alert! MOMMY!!! Red alert!" cried Zen.
The officers knocked over chairs and each other in a mad rush to exit the
room. Highlander remained behind with Savvie. Once he was sure the others
were gone, he winked and brushed his own chips *and* Crossfire's into his bag.
Just as quickly, he closed the bag and headed for the bridge.
"Oh well," sighed Matt as he reached for a towel.
* * * * *
The turbolift opened onto the bridge, spilling forth Avenger, Crossfire,
Soraya, Neon and Jez the Wonder Kitty. As Avenger joined Susan and Dave at
the science station, Highlander appeared from the turbolift outside the
Captain's Ready Room.
"What have you got?" asked Avenger.
"Dave put the gravitational field distortion detectors on-line a little
while ago," explained Susan. "He immediately picked up several big blips,
which we think are Borg ships, closing on this sector."
"I wasn't sure I'd hooked it up correctly, but they're real all right."
"It looks like they're headed to Rigel VII," Susan suggested.
"Why would they attack Rigel?" asked Soraya.
"Why not?" asked Dave.
Avenger turned from the science stations and looked out at the starry
view ahead. "Rigel VII? Ridiculous." His eyes narrowed as he scanned the
starfield. "Neither highly civilized nor technologically advanced...and
Captain Pike found it more primitive than I did. The Borg always have a
reason behind their attacks and there's no clear reason for going there."
"Unless they're trying to lure us into a trap," suggested Highlander.
Soraya turned white as a sheet and hugged her arms tightly about her.
"Is something wrong, Soraya?" asked Crossfire.
"Ummm...uhh..." she stammered. "Dave, increase resolution. Rechart
those flight paths."
"Do you know something we don't, Commander?" wondered Avenger.
Dave's replot showed the real target to be an insignificant system a
few light years from Rigel VII -- a system so insignificant it only had a
designation number, not a name.
"LV-826?" asked Susan.
"There used to be a humanoid civilzation there," Soraya said. "They
hadn't gotten far into their Industrial Age when the Borg hit..."
"You said 'used to be,'" Avenger wondered. "Does that mean what I
think it means?"
"Soraya, how do you know so f***ing much about this place?" asked
Highlander.
"I watched them tear it apart!" she cried, running off the bridge. As
the turbolift doors shut in his face, Jez resorted to pacing back and forth
in front of them, mewing frantically.
* * * * *
The _USS QIb_ set down at a small spaceport in the suburban area of a
medium-sized Klingon city. The landing ramp extended from the port airlock
as it opened. T'Kreila stepped forward, hands on her hips, taking in a deep
breath of the smoggy, chemical-filled, thick Klingon air.
"Are you coming or not, QIghpej [agonizer, T'Kreila's childhood nickname
for T'Lilith]?! tugh! [Hurry up!]"
"Patience, sister," called T'Lilith from within. "You're such an
impatient tera'ngan [Earther/Terran]."
"I heard that!" cried T'Kreila.
"You were meant to." T'Lilith stepped out of the airlock, dressed in
her own battle armor. Like most of her wardrobe, T'Lilith's armor was much
more conservative than her sister's. (Unlike the armor Lursa and B'Etor wore
in "Redemption," T'Lilith's covered cleavage.) T'Lilith also chose to retain
Vulcan elements in her costuming, such as the IDIC affixed next to her Star
Fleet communicator.
"You wear the dress of a male child, T'Lilith. When will take pride in
being a Klingon woman?"
"When will *you* take pride in being Vulcan?"
The two stood in silence, glaring furiously into each others' eyes.
T'Kreila finally backed off and returned her gaze to the city. She took
another deep breath and exhaled slowly, enjoying the foul air. T'Lilith
took in the view as well before speaking dreamily.
"I love the smell of napalm in the morning. It smells like...victory." [1]
T'Kreila turned to look at her sister, an eyebrow sharply upswept. "That
is beautiful! And so tlhIngan!"
"Not really," explained T'Lilith. "It's from some old Terran war movie.
John Heins used to say it a lot."
A small group of large Klingons approached the ship, led by its tallest.
At nearly two meters, Commander qey'rI dwarfed his peers, including the two
at his side.
"Welcome back, be'meywI' [miladies]," qey'rI said, admiring T'Kreila as
he did. He extended a hand to her. "Shall we?"
* * * * *
The door chimed once. Soraya ignored it, sitting alone in the darkness.
The door chimed again. She picked up Jez's rubber Ferengi (cat toy) and
threw it at the door.
She wrapped her arms about her and held on tightly, shivering. She
closed her eyes and wondered whether the room was really that cold or if
she was just frightened.
Soraya Ghiasi opened her eyes to see the ceiling lights in the Sick Bay
of the _Nebula_-class _USS Reliant_. All about her, she could hear the moans
and gasps of injured comrades. She looked around and wished she hadn't. The
blood and pain she witnessed were a bit more than she could handle.
She tried to sit up, but found herself restrained to the bed. "Doctor!"
she called out. "DOCTOR!!"
Someone approached from her left, but she couldn't quite turn to see
until the woman stood directly beside her.
"C-captain.." Soraya gasped.
Sonya Gomez looked older than her 70-odd years today. (Remember that in
the early 25th century, 70 is more like 45 or 50 today.) Her right arm in a
sling and her forehead bandaged, she looked like she had not slept in days.
For all Soraya knew, she had been out that long herself.
"You're going to be all right, Lieutenant," said Gomez, absent-mindedly
moving some loose hairs away from Soraya's face for her. "The doctor says
a few more hours in that regeneration unit plus a few weeks of physical
therapy and your arm will be as good as new."
Soraya looked down to where her left hand should have been and instead
found her arm immersed in a tissue regeneration unit up to the elbow. No
*wonder* they've got me restrained, she thought.
"Did we...um, did we--?"
"Did we win?" Gomez finished for her. Sonya closed her eyes and sighed,
shaking her head. "No. The people of LV-826 are all dead...or worse."
Soraya shivered at the captain's implication.
"But hey, you're the lucky one here, Lieutenant," smiled Gomez, trying
to brighten the mood. "Star Fleet's shipping you home tomorrow..."
And I never saw her again, Soraya thought. She and those of my friends
that survived that first battle died instantly at Vulcan.
"It could have been me," she whispered aloud.
"Mrrrrrow?" asked Jez, rubbing up against her faithfully. She nearly
jumped through the ceiling, as she hadn't heard Jez come in.
"Jez, my precious, my darling, what are you doing here?" she asked.
"Mrow mewr purrp mrow mew mew. [I came to take care of you, of course.]"
The door chimed again, for the first time in several minutes. Soraya
sniffled and wiped away some tears, then held Jez in her arms and scratched
him behind the ears. "Come in," she finally said.
Counselor Neon and Avenger entered cautiously.
"Are you all right?" asked Avenger.
"Yes," she said unconvincingly.
"Do you want to talk about it?" asked Neon.
"Not really, but you're going to make me."
"Wouldn't hurt to clue me in to what's going on, at least," offered
Avenger.
Soraya gestured to some chairs before Jez looked up with the look that
says "Why did you stop petting me? Don't you ever do that again!" He purred
contentedly as she returned to scratching his ears.
"Everyone knows where *you* were during the Dilemma, Admiral," began
Soraya. "*I* was a junior science officer aboard the _Reliant_."
"Captain...Sonya Gomez, wasn't it?" asked the Admiral.
"Yes... She was a great inspiration to me, always ready to praise good
work and encourage young officers."
"So what happened?" asked Neon.
"We...we responded to a distress call. So did two other ships. A
science vessel studying LV-826 got the call out right before the Borg took
them apart."
Jez jumped down to the floor and skittered across to the food replicator,
obviously bored with the attention now. "Mrowr."
"I'm sorry, Jez," said Zen. "That selection is invalid."
Jez grunted his disapproval, then proceeded to dismantle the unit.
"Hey, that tickles!" giggled Zen. "Cut that out!"
"*Mrowr*," said Jez firmly. A can of Pounce appeared on the pad.
"Jezzz," warned Soraya. Jez obviously didn't care, as he tore open the
can and began his feast.
"So then what happened?" asked Avenger.
"Oh, um," Soraya stammered as her thoughts returned to the unpleasant.
"Three Borg ships were just tearing the planet apart. They were in their
early Industrial Age, so the Borg were scooping up as much scrap iron and
such as they could. We tried to get them to stop..."
Soraya's words trailed off as she stared at the far wall. She clutched
her left arm close to her chest, cradling it with her right hand.
"Soraya, you need to get this out in the open," said Neon.
"I...we..." Her voice trailed off, then a tear trickled down one cheek.
"The world exploded around me. The bridge shook, my science station just
blew up and next thing I know I'm in sickbay!" She held out her left arm
and pulled up the sleeve as far as she could. "Look at this!"
For the first time, Avenger and Neon noticed several long, deep scars
criscrossing her left arm.
"They practically blew my arm off!" Her head dropped and the tears came
more freely. "Some of my friends died that day. They were the lucky ones."
"Why do you say that?" asked Neon gently.
"Because the rest only lived another few days! They died at Vulcan!!"
Neon tried to comfort Soraya to little avail while Avenger simply sat
back and waited it out. Finally, when he thought the time was right,
Avenger spoke.
"Gomez self-destructed her ship at Vulcan...or at least, that's what
we all believe."
"Of course she self-destructed!" exclaimed Soraya. "She'd never have
allowed the Borg to torture her people the way Picard was."
"Whatever," replied Avenger. "She saved her people and a lot of the
rest of us from assimilation."
"Yes, but she's dead!"
"Do you think she did the right thing?" interrupted Neon.
"Hmm?" wondered Avenger.
"I..I.." Soraya's voice trailed off again as the tears calmed and her
brow wrinkled. She took a deep breath and collected herself. "Maybe she..
I mean..." And finally, "Yes."
"But something's still bothering you," said Avenger, taking Neon by
surprise. "Do you feel responsible...because you weren't there too?"
"I..." Soraya looked up and caught Avenger's eyes for a moment. Just
as quickly he turned away, incapable of handling the strength of the emotions
that washed over him. "I..I don't know. Maybe."
"Then I think we're getting some place," concluded Neon.
Silence passed between them all for a moment, interrupted finally by
a casual burp from Jez.
"She did her job and you did yours." Avenger smiled weakly at her.
"She'd be glad that you are still alive today, and I think she'd be very
proud of what you've become."
"Maybe so," Soraya yielded. "But I'd always hoped she'd be here to see
me get this far."
"If she hadn't sent you home that day," said Neon, "you wouldn't have
ever made it this far."
* * * * *
"LV-826?" asked Commander Heins. "Isn't that system a pile of rubble?"
"Why would we want to go there?" asked Captain Bundy.
"Because there'll be some very angry Borg if we don't show up with
these!" said Avenger on the main viewer, pointing to his forehead.
Lt. Cdr. Thomas Youtz looked over from the con to his companion at ops,
Lt. Jennifer Fakolt. Well, she was his companion in other ways too, but
that's not important right now. "Huh?" they said in unison.
"Never mind," said Avenger. "The point is, I really don't know...it's
almost as if they're drawing us there for some reason -- maybe historical."
"What do you mean historical?" asked Bundy.
"The _USS Reliant_ and two other ships tangled with the Borg there
during the Dilemma. Our second officer was seriously injured during that
attack..."
"That was Gomez's ship, wasn't it?" asked Heins, lowering his head in
a mixture of respect and deep thought. Almost immediately, he snapped it
back up to look at Avenger. "So what are we going to do?"
"We don't have much choice, do we? We've got to stop the Borg before
they get away from us again."
"I knew you were going to say that," nodded Heins.
"Must we?" asked Bundy.
"Yes," said Heins and Avenger together as they simultaneously closed
the channel.
* * * * *
"Admiral, we'll be dropping out of warp shortly," reported Himle from
the bridge.
"Acknowledged, Ops. On my way." Avenger removed a tennis ball from
beneath his back and stood up from the hard floor of the Captain's Ready
Room. He stopped a moment, staring at the ball. It worked wonders on his
back, but an eerie feeling of deja vu suddenly washed him over. He shook
it off, pocketed the ball, did a Picard Maneuver and left for the bridge.
He found Soraya exiting the nearest turbolift.
"Soraya," he said with joy and surprise. "How are you feeling?" he
asked with more concern.
"Fine, Admiral," she said with a half-smile. "I caught a nap. It's
helped too."
Avenger nodded in silent recognition and proceeded to the command area.
As he dropped into his chair, the _Croutonprize_ dropped out of warp, the
stars pulled back into their normal brilliance and a new image filled the
viewscreen.
"Oh my god," said Susan.
"Don't start *that* thread again," Rhee spat, her back to the screen.
"Ack," whispered Soraya.
"Shiiit," added Crossfire.
"Jyxoqyz," exclaimed Jez. [2]
"qu'vatlh," cursed Avenger, his energy seeming to drain away as he
slumped in his chair, eyes wide.
"F***," remarked Highlander.
"Watch your language," warned Zen.
Before them was an asteroidal mess that at one time could have been a
Class M planet. Bits and pieces of scrap metal with Federation markings
occasionally flew by too, but before them lay an even larger obstacle...
Starbase LMC1, with a notoriously Borgish scrap-metal looking finish
on its exterior, hung in space about 250,000 km away, smaller chunks of the
planet once known as LV-826 occasionally bouncing off its extremely powerful
deflector shields. A pair of Borg cubes hovered nearby.
They all stood frozen in silence, not sure what to do. A monitor beacon
chirped several times before Crossfire realized he was supposed to answer it.
"Admiral, the Borg are hailing the Captain. They're speaking through
one of the smaller cubes."
"Put them on," ordered Avenger with grim determination.
"No, you don't get it, sir," snapped Crossfire. "They're asking for
Chris."
The crew looked at each other with a gasp before Avenger waved Crossfire
to open the channel anyway.
"Audio only, sir."
"Christopher P. Crouton, Captain of Starship _Croutonprize_, Registry
NCC-1741-C," said a familiar Swedish Borg voice. "You will lower your shields
and disarm your weapons. If you attempt to resist us, we will destroy you."
Avenger slammed the "speak" button on his old command chair. The chair
was now well used to his abuse and responded without resistance. "Bjorn, you
old bastard, if you think I'm going to let you take *another* ship away from
me, you've got another thing coming."
"Avenger?" echoed Bjorn with surprise. "You are not in command of the
_Croutonprize_."
"Tell that to Star Fleet." Avenger inhaled deeply. "What the hell are
you doing with my Starbase anyway?!? I engaged the f***ing auto-destruct--"
"Admiral!" yelled Crossfire. Avenger's head snapped around to stare
at Crossfire. "You're letting this get personal."
"Yes, well..." Avenger's voice trailed off. Several more beacons began
to chirp around the bridge. Avenger looked to the screen and saw the two
cube shapes breaking formation and sweeping toward the tiny task force like
the pinchers of a crab's claw. I hate crabs, thought Avenger.
"Battle stations!" ordered Highlander.
"Task force, fan out," ordered Avenger into his com panel.
A powerful tractor beam erupted from the Starbase and roared over the
top of the _Croutonprize_.
"Ha, ha. Missed, you fool!" said Himle.
"We weren't the target," Susan noted.
"Matt, switch to a split-screen. I have to know where every ship is
at all times." Avenger pulled a long whisker from his chin, tossing it
into Highlander's lap. Highlander brushed it away in disgust. "Let's see
what we can serve up."
* * * * *
"Phasers aren't having any effect," noted Lt. Max.
"Let me help." Heins pushed his way in alongside the security chief,
who gave him one of those "You never let me do anything myself" looks.
"Don't let them get behind us, Tom," Bundy ordered to his second officer.
A thin man of small build, many people were surprised to learn Bundy's old
nickname: "The Refrigerator." Of course, they were more surprised when they
heard he earned it on the Academy Sumo Wrestling team...
"Captain, I've got a forty-percent power loss on the main phasers!"
exclaimed Heins.
Bundy tapped the com panel. "Gaaaaary, the phasers are losing power."
The chief engineer sighed back. "On my way."
"Look out!" shouted Lt. Fakolt from Ops as the _Volvo_ passed a bit too
close to one of the Borg cubes.
"What did you do that for???" screamed Bundy.
"I figured it would surprise them," said Youtz.
The ship shuddered around them.
"Borg tractor locked onto the aft hull section," called out Heins. "We
just lost Bowling Alley 2."
"Oh no!" cried the entire bridge crew.
Bundy tapped the com panel again. "Gaaaaaary, the Borg are tearing up
the stardrive section!"
Lt. Cdr. Hren sighed again. "I'm still working on the phasers!"
Bundy turned to face his first officer, who hovered over the tactical
console. "John, what do we do?"
"Incoming message from the Borg," announced Lt. Fakolt.
"I am Capriatus of Borg," echoed the Borg on the main viewer. She
looked more like a fifteen year old Romulan than some great alien menace.
"Your culture will adapt to serve to ours. Thirty-love."
"John, what are we going to do?" cried the captain.
"Goddamn teenybopper!" spouted Counselor Wombat as she briskly exited
the turbolift. "I know what *I'll* do if I get *my* hands on her."
* * * * *
"This is ridiculous," complained Avenger.
"No, Admiral, he's not here," corrected Crossfire.
"Any useful suggestions?"
"Scream?" said Chuang.
"Retreat?" chipped in Himle.
"Where's the Kunz when you need him?" wondered Susan.
"What about mass suicide?" wondered Zort.
Avenger turned and stared at, or maybe through, the Yoyoboqian.
"I was joking! I was JOKING!!"
"Well, the weapons aren't much damn good," commented Highlander.
Avenger turned to tactical. "Crossfire, didn't I ask for *useful*
suggestions?"
"Yes, I believe that's what you said, Cap--er--Adm--er--oh, f*** it."
"Mrow meowr mrowp hiss HISS ROWR mrow MRRROOOOW meow meowrp. [Let's
get a big dog, like 100 times the size of Crossfire's, and send it after
them.]" Jez took a deep breath after this speech.
"Good idea, Jez," said Avenger. "But where are we going to find a dog
that big?"
"Maybe at Sirius?" suggested Kindig. "You know, the Dog Star."
A loud groan carried through the bridge.
"I might know what they want," muttered Soraya.
"What was that, Soraya?" asked Avenger.
"I think I know what they want," she repeated, a little louder. She
swallowed hard and inhaled deeply. "Let me speak to them."
* * * * *
Deep inside, Starbase LMC1 still vaguely resembled its original design.
In what used to be the Starbase Command Center, Antonius examined a rotating
cubical viewscreen, a la the one we saw Locutus using in "The Best of Both
Worlds, Part II." Within the Uni-Mind, he sought out memories.
His own memories, those of the former Anthony Morgan, would have been
useful against Kabeta had it not been for the interference of a Rancher fleet.
Something would have to be done about that later, the Borg had already decided,
but for now it was of no concern. Antonius' knowledge of Kabeta Andreevna
Gorovin would come in useful sooner or later. The Borg were certain of that.
No, the memories he sought were those of someone else. Her knowledge of
Admiral Avenger had been of little interest to the Borg--Bjorn already knew
him all too well. What she knew of Crossfire had been of special interest to
the Borg's brief Lucky Charm allies...and that knowledge would continue to
serve the Borg.
Her assimilation had not lasted, but she would soon rejoin the Uni-mind.
In the meantime, many of her memories lived on in the Uni-mind. As Antonius
tapped these memories, the already dim lights inside LMC1 flickered in her
honor.
Melissa Midzor had given them many things, including a great deal of
Federation technology. Technology was not the only thing that they were
interested in, of course.
Eleven years ago, the Borg had encountered a vessel at this very
world. Her captain was long since dead, but one crew member had continued
to make a nuisance of herself in years afterward. Melissa had given the
Borg the knowledge they had needed about the second officer of the starship
_Croutonprize_. Now they simply had to wait.
* * * * *
"Borg Collective, this is Soraya Ghiasi, last human survivor of the
battle of LV-826."
Antonius' features filled the main viewer.
"You may speak."
Behind her, Avenger had dug out another of his leather-bound books and
was rapidly skimming through it. Highlander was at a loss to understand why
Avenger had chosen this moment to look up something in Tom Kelly's "Managing
in the Majors."
"You seek to understand the human way of doing things. You want to
understand why my captain acted in the manner she did."
"Yes. You will give us this information. We will incorporate--"
"Let me finish," snapped Soraya. Antonius, surprisingly, shut up.
"Humans do not quit when it comes to their own survival, or that of their
friends and families. You do not see the logic in our self-sacrifice. We
do not see the logical benefit of your 'new order.' Our people stand for
self-determination and--"
"Self-determination is irrelevant. Freedom is anarchy. Survival can
only be achieved through perfection."
"Yeah. And monkeys *might* fly out of my butt," muttered Avenger.
"Shhhh!" hissed Highlander.
"Humans do not desire perfection," Soraya continued. "Nor do we require
it. Our imperfections are what make us unique...and innovative. We need
them not only to survive, but also to thrive."
"Humanity requires only the Borg to survive. The Borg require humanity
to survive. These other details are inconsequential."
"What the hell's that supposed to mean?" wondered Crossfire.
"I'd like to know that myself," added Avenger. He continued scanning
through his book.
"You're missing the point," said Soraya. "If survival is the sticking
point, then we should not be at war!"
"The Federation will not surrender. Invasion is the only alternative.
You MUST be assimilated."
"Aha! Got it!" exclaimed Avenger.
"Shhhh!!!" hissed Soraya, Antonius, Highlander and Crossfire.
"Sorry," squeaked Avenger. He motioned for Crossfire to follow and
went to his Ready Room.
"I'm prepared to surrender myself to the Borg," offered Soraya.
"What?!" Highlander and others were shocked to hear this.
"Under the condition that you end this war and return to your home space.
You can learn what you need to from me, but end this suicidal desire to
destroy every civilization--"
"Your surrender is unnecessary," Antonius explained. "You will be
assimilated as easily as the Riddler was."
Seven Borg materialized on the bridge, one quite close to Soraya...
* * * * *
"The 1995 World Series?" Heins' look of confusion slowly melted into
a knowing smile. "Oh, the *1995* World Series. Right. I know what you're
getting at. You just give the signal and we'll be ready. Heins out."
"Well, I'm sooo glad you two have worked out that baseball thing for
yourselves," spat Crossfire sarcastically. "Now would you mind telling me
why you dragged me in here?"
"You didn't get it?" Avenger looked genuinely appalled. "I thought
I made myself perfectly clear."
"Clear as a post-atomic blizzard, maybe. What are we going to do about
the Borg???"
"I just told you."
"You and your friend just babbled on about some damn four hundred year
old baseball game!!!"
"Exactly!"
"I still don't get it."
Avenger shook his head. "Never mind. I'll take care--"
They heard the eerie whisper of a Borg transporter from the direction
of the bridge.
"Goddamn you and your fairy stories!" [3] Crossfire rushed out of the
room to Soraya's rescue.
"I can't believe I didn't think of this sooner," Avenger thought aloud.
He tapped his communicator and said, "John, Kelly 3C is a go."
* * * * *
Almost as the knife left his grip, Crossfire's Beretta was out and ready.
The knife landed home, deep in the windpipe of the Borg drone nearest Soraya
before it even knew he was there. He knew he wouldn't get that shot again.
Soraya didn't get a chance to thank him, though, as she ducked under the
arm of a second Borg and swung around to kick it solidly in the kidneys...or
at least where they would be on a Terran. She was rewarded with a loud
"klang," a stinging foot and a Borg that lost its balance and fell to its
knees. Ouch, she thought. Won't slow it for long.
Crossfire's Beretta was up and pounded out three quick rounds, felling
Soraya's drone with three shells to the head.
"Get her out of here!" Crossfire shouted to Highlander, as he continued
swiftly across the bridge. I'm running out of tricks, he thought.
Highlander drew his sword and sliced the mechanical arm off the nearest
drone at the shoulder. Grabbing Soraya roughly by the hand, he pulled her
toward a turbolift.
* * * * *
Antonius' tractor grabbed the _Volvo_ harder, shaking it violently.
"J-j-j-ohn," cried Bundy. "Wh-wh-what the h-h-hell d-do we d-do now?"
"This is p-p-perfect!" Heins tapped the security station com panel.
"_P-Plasma_, g-go!"
_USS Plasma_ charged forth, sailing just a few hundred meters over the
top of the _Volvo_. Just as it made its closest pass, the _Volvo_ reached
out with its own tractor beam and grabbed the _Plasma_, slingshotting it
OVER LMC and straight toward one of the other Borg cubes. To avoid a last-
minute collision, the offending cube darted out of the way as the _Plasma_
opened up with phasers at an extremely high frequency, ripping chunks out
of the cube, littering the surrounding space. The momentum imparted by the
_Volvo_'s slingshot allowed _Plasma_ to divert its engine power completely
to phasers while still maintaining its rapid collision course. Expecting the
Borg to react in the manner that they had, _Plasma_ also dropped shields
temporarily and diverted all of that power to phasers as well. Crippled by
the _Plasma_'s surprise, the cube bled uneasily into space as it wandered
further away. _Plasma_ glided on by, diverting power back to shields before
Bjorn's cube locked on.
"Clever, human," noted Antonius. "You will not succeed again." With
an evil smile, Antonius' starbase reached out harder with its tractor beam
and began to pull the _Volvo_ toward it.
"We're c-coming ap-part at the seams!" cried Bundy. "Smooth m-move!
M-maybe I should let SP-SPAM (TM) drive?!?"
"T-t-tom, get r-ready to divert all w-warp and impulse p-p-power to
the f-f-forward shields!" Heins shouted, then tapped the comp panel again.
"M-mike, d-double pl-play ball!"
* * * * *
Avenger RAN, straight out of the Ready Room, past Crossfire, leapt onto
his chair and somersaulted over the railing. Landing on his back (and nearly
on top of Jez), Avenger smiled up at Susan and bounced to his feet, brushing
her aside to get at her station.
Annoyed by the rude behavior, but watchful, Susan whirled to find a Borg
drone reaching for Avenger. She kicked sharply into its solar plexus...to no
avail. The Borg merely stared at her curiously, then moved for Avenger again.
Throwing caution to the wind, she began to tickle the offending drone. It
jerked spasmodically and fell to the floor, immobilized.
"Cool!" she exclaimed.
"And away she goes!" called Avenger.
Susan looked at him inquiringly, then to the main viewscreen for an
answer. She watched as the ship's tractor beams (with polarity reversed into
pressor beams) pushed the _Volvo_ roughly into the side of the starbase!
"What the hell did you do that for?!?" asked Crossfire as he took down
another Borg. Three more suddenly dematerialized right in front of him.
"Got a reaction from them, didn't it?" smiled Avenger.
* * * * *
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