 |
||||
STAR TREK: THE SUMMER GENERATION
EPISODES #37 - 40
Date: Sun, 24 Jun 90 13:40:53 MDT
From: reid_jh%cubldr@spot.ucar.EDU (Crossfire)
Subject: ST:TSG "Where Stones Grow"
Next time, on a particularly serious episode of
Star Trek: The Summer Generation--
"Were Stones Grow" (with apologies to Lisa Tuttle)
[Exerior, space. A barren earth-type planet is visible in the background. The
Croutonprize moves into view from behind the camera, on impulse power.]
Crouton's Voice: Captain's Log, Stardate. . .hold on a second. . .
[Interior, Croutonprize bridge. Crouton is desparately trying to get his
digital wristwatch to display the stardate, but it refuses to. He continues
to struggle, while Highlander watches in amusement.]
Chuang: Now entering standard orbit.
[Crouton straightens up and turns off his log recorder.]
Crouton: Excellent, Mr. Chuang. Begin scanning procedures.
Soraya: This planet is completely devoid of all life, sir. . .not even any
bacteria or microorganisms in the water. No life at all. But I am
picking up signs that life was once here: there are structures all over
the planet.
Highlander: Structures? You mean buildings?
Soraya: Nope nope nope. Not enclosed structures; merely arrangements of the
stones. Like Stonehenge, on Earth.
Crouton: Interesting. Commander Highlander, assemble an Away Team, if you
please.
Highlander: Soraya, Jez, Chuang. Lieutenant Lascola, report to Croutonizer
Room 3 for Away Team duty.
Crouton: Lascola? Ah, our geologist. Very good. Carry on, Commander.
[Highlander gives a decidedly lecherous smile to Crouton and then leaves the
bridge with Soraya, Jez, and Chuang.]
[Exterior, planet. The ground is covered with grey slate chips as far as the
eye can see. Several large, irregularly shaped monoliths stand in a circular
pattern, like Stonehenge. The sky overhead is grey with overcast and a cold
wind blows slightly. The Away Team materializes in the foreground. All take
out their tricorders and begin scanning, except Highlander, who eyes Lascola,
a shapely blonde Terran woman, appreciatively.]
Lascola: According to my readings, these stones are centuries old. They don't
appear to have any indications of being mined or moved to these positions.
I can't think of a reason why they might be standing here.
Jez [trying to make a joke]: Row. Mrow mroooow. (Maybe they grew like this.)
[Everyone is silent; for some reason this joke falls flat on its face. The
Team continues its exploration.]
Soraya: Over here!
[Everyone rushes over to Soraya's location, where she is kneeling and examining
something on the ground very closely.]
Chuang: What is it?
Soraya: It looks like a fossil.
Highlander: It looks like a goddamn Kelvin to me.
[The thing looks like a shattered stone statue of a Kelvin. Bits of it lay
scattered around a small area.]
Jez: Meow. Mrow purrup. (This is exactly the same stone as all the rest of
this planet.)
Soraya: The question remains. . .
Lascola: Sir! The. . .wait. . . [She adjusts her tricorder.]
Highlander: What is it, Lieutenant?
Lascola: According to my readings, some of these stones have moved...but
that's impossible. Isn't it?
[Soraya gets up and takes a new reading herself. From off to one side we hear
the stealthly noise of some of the grey shale on the ground being moved.
Chuang takes out his phaser, and Highlander draws his katana.]
Soraya: She's right. These rocks are moving.
Jez: Meow. (I don't like this.)
Lascola: Me neither. Wait a minute...I'm getting a strange reading here...
[She walks over to one of the closer monoliths, scanning it closely. Then she
puts away her tricorder.]
Lascola: The molecular structure of this one seems to be changing, somehow.
[She puts her hand on it. The stone underneath her hand ripples, like water,
and flows over her hand and resolidifies, encasing it up to the wrist in
stone. Lascola screams and tries to pull her hand from the rock. Highlander
rushes over and tries to help.]
Highlander: It's no use. Soraya, is there a way to phaser her out of this?
Soraya [Reading her tricorder]: I'm not sure. . .maybe we could croutonize her
out. . .
[Lascola screams again as the stone ripples, this time all over, and flows
smoothly up her outstretched arm. When it resolidifies, the stone has moved
nearly a meter, and Lascola's arm is encased up to the shoulder.]
Highlander: Highlander to Croutonprize, emergency. Prepare to croutonize up
the Away Team.
Taubman (vo): Sir, I'm unable to get a lock on Lieutenant Lascola. At least,
her right arm isn't registering.
[The stone ripples again. Lascola's scream is cut off as the monolith flows
over her entire body, covering her, turning her to stone.]
Taubman (vo): Now she doesn't register at all. . .
Jez: MEEEEOOOOWWW! (LOOK OUT!)
[The closest stones are now flowing toward the Away Team rapidly.]
Highlander: Croutonize us up! Now!
[Jez bounds into Soraya's arms, and Chuang fires his phaser at a stone that's
about to envelope Highlander. It disintegrates into sand. The Away team
Croutonizes away, along with three of the closest monoliths.]
[Interior, Croutonprize Croutonizer Room 3. The Away Team materializes on the
Croutonizer platform. Highlander walks off the platform and activates the com
panel.]
Highlander: Highlander to bridge.
Crouton (vo): Go ahead.
[Strange noises are coming from the Croutonizer. Taubman looks alarmed.]
Taubman: Sir, there's something trapped in transit in our croutonizer beam.
Highlander: Shit! [He moves to the Croutonizer controls.]
Crouton (vo): Excuse me?
[Together, Highlander and Taubman try to rid the croutonizer beam of the
monoliths.]
Taubman: Here we go. . .
[Exterior, alien planet. As before, except three monoliths materialize.]
[Interior, Croutonprize Croutonizer Room 3. Highlander stares at the platform,
and Soraya lets Jez down, who rubs against her legs.]
[Exterior, alien planet. All of the monoliths are in their previous positions,
except one. Suddenly it ripples and flows backward a few feet. Behind it
leaves a statue of Lieutenant Lascola, frozen in her last position. It tips
over on the ground next to the remains of the Kelvin and shatters.]
#==============Zen===Ship's=Computer=USS=Croutonprize=NCC=1741C===============#
---------------
Date: Wed, 4 Jul 90 01:46:26 -0600
From: zecca@tramp (Michael Piller Wanna-Be)
Subject: ST:TSG episode (LONG)
Captain Crouton picks up his root beer from the food synthesizer and moves
to his desk. Commander Kabeta is already sitting opposite him, sipping tea.
Crouton: I understand you may be up for promotion.
Kabeta: That's the rumor anyway. I've been at the desk for a few years now.
I would love to get back in the field again.
Crouton (takes a sip): Well, I would be quite happy to accomodate you. Both
Commander Highlander and I could use the extra time off the bridge right
now. He's been trying to supplement his science background of late by means
of an Organic Chemistry course. I have been trying to reprogram and upgrade
my personal computing system. It is difficult to work such hobbies around
the command schedule.
Kabeta (sitting up): What are you suggesting?
Crouton: Perhaps I can rearrange the duty roster to cut back on the time
the regular command officers spend on their shifts and likewise give you
a bridge duty shift to fill the gap.
Kabeta: I would like that, Captain. Thank you.
Crouton: You're a fine officer. You deserve a command of your own.
* * * * *
"The Arcsines of Command"
Directed by Eric Moore
* * * * *
"Captain's Log, Stardate 100262.3, Commander Kabeta reporting:
We are en route to the Trelna Bilar system to examine a nova which
took place there as we reached the galaxy a few months ago. Star Fleet
Astrophysical records showed the star to be a highly stable young yellow
main sequence star. Camelot's records give us similar results. We have
no explanation for such a sudden nova at this point, but we're certainly
going to try to find out why.
Personal Note: I did not realize how intimidating the captain's chair is."
The turbolift opens and Admiral Avenger trips onto the bridge.
Avenger: Chris, do you have a moment?
Commander Kabeta steps out of the captain's chair. Avenger stops.
Avenger: Oh, sorry, Kabeta. I thought...
Kabeta: He's given me most of the day shift this week. He'll be here for
the midnight to 5 am shift.
Avenger: That figures. Well, how do you like it?
Kabeta: Pretty quiet so far. Fairly comfortable. A little intimidating,
I suppose.
Avenger: That goes with the territory. You'll get used to it.
Zen: < BEEP > < BEEP > < BEEP >
Chuang: Matt, you picking anything up on the long range scanners?
Himle: I...well, I thought I had something for a sec, but not any more.
Kabeta (stepping up to ops): What did it look like?
Himle: Large, whatever it was. It was like a great big Lucky Charm hanging
in space for a few moments and then suddenly disappearing.
Kabeta: High warp speed? Cloaking device?
Himle: No. More like it just vanished from existence.
Kabeta: Ummm...well, keep an eye out for any more "Lucky Charms" and proceed
to our destination.
Kabeta returns the captain's chair. The Admiral leaves the bridge.
Chuang: Lucky Charms, huh? Didn't get your complete breakfast today?
Himle gets up and whaps Chuang lightly across the top of the head, messing
up his hair.
* * * * *
Admiral Avenger wanders into Engineering and discovers Lt. Frechette, Lt.
Cdr. Wankoid, several balls of fluff, and an air circulation unit in the
center of the floor. The two officers are being extremely silly, blowing
the balls of fluff, socks, root beer cartons, and anything else they can
think of high into the air with the fan they have commandeered.
Avenger: What are you two DOING?
Midzor (popping her head out from a hole in the wall): It's about time you
got here! Look at what they're DOING with that fan!
Avenger: Looks like they're having fun...
Midzor: Yes, but I took that thing out to make some repairs on it, not to
have it used as a toy!
Avenger: Why did you remove it in the first place?
Midzor: One by one, I'm going through them all, all over the ship. Haven't
you noticed how hot it's been in some rooms?
Avenger: Actually, that's why I came down here...
Midzor: Something screwy with the air conditioning. I'm going through every
one until I discover the problem and then I'm going to fix it for good.
Avenger: Well, as long as you're not totally in the dark as to why...
Avenger ducks as a subneutronic pulse generating phase wrench sails gracefully
through the air and past his head.
* * * * *
Ghiasi: This is very strange...
Kabeta (pacing the bridge): What is?
Ghiasi: This can't be right... From everything I'm seeing here, there is
NO way this nova could have been produced any way but artificially.
Kabeta: You mean someone did this deliberately? I find that highly unlikely.
Himle, seen any signs of the Lucky Charm lately?
Himle glances down at the screen only to find 100 Quayle quotes taking up
screen space.
Himle: Neal, you little -- (pause, tap click tap) -- Nothing yet.
Kabeta (to Soraya): Give me all the evidence you can and then I'll call
the captain.
Himle gets up to whack Neal across the head again. Kabeta clears her throat.
Himle turns to find her standing right behind him. He smiles, puts his hand
behind his back, and returns to his seat. Kabeta returns to the captain's
chair and Himle tosses a paper airplane at the young lieutenant.
* * * * *
Commander Tangent returns to his quarters after a long discourse in Ten
Forward with Vanessa, T'Lilith, and Counselor Neon on the usefulness of
the Glarulgh in the Tellarite anatomy. He checks his computer for messages.
1st voice: "Hi, is Tangent there? This is John."
2nd voice: "Hi, is Tangent there? This is John."
3rd voice: "Hi, is Tangent there? This is John."
4th voice: "Hi, is Tangent there? This is John."
5th voice: "Hi, Tangent. This is John. Call me."
6th voice: "Hi, Tangent. This is--"
Tangent flips off the computer.
Tangent: I'll get him for this. I'm going to get him for this.
* * * * *
"Captain's Log, Stardate 100263.1:
Commander Kabeta and Lt. Cdr. Ghiasi have informed me of the artificial
nova of the star that used to reside in this system. Soraya will now investi-
gate the possibility of further unnatural novae while Lt. Cdr. Zenador contem-
plates the reasons a race might have decided to use such a tactic."
Captain Crouton sits idly in his chair, sipping thoughtfully at his root beer.
The night duty crew is on and the lights in most areas of the ship are dim.
Jez keeps an eye on the simulation programs Soraya has left running for the
night while manning the tactical station. Turbolift doors open and Admiral
Avenger staggers zombified onto the bridge.
Crouton: Greetings, Admiral. You shall require a chair.
Avenger: Why am I still awake? (sits down)
Crouton: Perhaps you are not sleepy?
Avenger: I just don't know any more. Maybe it's this heat.
T'Lilith (intercom, sleepily): Admiral to Admiral. Are you still awake???
Avenger (false Scots accent): Aye, m'love.
T'Lilith (ic): Come back here and get to sleep. Now.
Avenger: Yes, boH'wI. (staggers off the bridge)
Jez: Meow! Mrow! Meow! (I'm picking up that "Lucky Charm" again.)
Crouton: Visual, maximum magnification, if you please.
Sure enough, a large purple horseshoe appears faintly in the distance. A
few seconds later, it appears to phase out of existence.
Crouton: I don't get it. What the hell are they up to?
* * * * *
Kabeta returns to the bridge for a new shift of duty. Soraya runs over the
output from the nighttime simulations while Himle and Chuang return to their
stations.
Ghiasi: Well, I think that confirms it.
Kabeta: Definitely artificially produced?
Ghiasi: Yup. And cross-checking against long-range observations of several
of the other novae indicate some similarities. We'll have to check the
others up close to be sure, but my first guess is they're the same.
Kabeta: I don't like the sounds of this.
Himle: Lucky Charm at 3:00, closing fast!
Chuang throws a paper airplane at Himle, but then sees the look on his face
and realizes this is serious.
Kabeta (unsure): Uh...umm...
< FLASH >
Gaz: Red alert. Evasive, Neal.
< FLASH >
Kabeta (confused): Uh, yeah. . .Thanks, Gaz.
Zen: < RED ALERT > < RED ALERT > Women and microchips first. < RED ALERT >
The purple horseshoe races at the Croutonprize and quickly surrounds it.
It is HUGE, large enough to surround the Croutonprize with room to spare.
Gretzky: Do I fire or sit here?
Kabeta: What? Oh, uh...sit tight for a moment.
A blinding light cuts through the bridge in a vertical planar cross-section,
beginning at the viewscreen and moving toward the back of the bridge. The
crew instinctively shield themselves with their hands, but the light does no
apparent harm.
Ghiasi: It's a high-intensity scanner. They're trying to find out as much
about us as they can in a short period of time.
Kabeta: Increase power to shields and hail them.
Gretzky: No response. Shields up 50% however.
Kabeta: Missy, can you give us more power to shields?
Midzor (ic): What do you need shields for? I'm trying to fix the air
conditioning! I'm 12 feet deep in a vent right now.
Kabeta (rolls her eyes): Oh, great!
Suddenly, the blinding light disappears. The Lucky Charm then moves away
from the Croutonprize at extremely high speed before phasing back out of
existence.
Crouton (rubbing his eyes as he enters the bridge): What's going on?
Ghiasi: Everything is under control.
Kabeta: The...uh...well, we...uh...
Crouton: Slow down. Take your time.
Kabeta: I've been out of the field too long...
* * * * *
"Captain's Log, Stardate 100263.6:
The mystery of the "man-made" novae remains up in the air as we proceed
to our next destination. We will submit our findings, and the details of the
incident with the "Lucky Charm," to Star Fleet Command for further advice.
Meanwhile, it has much of the crew wondering what danger may lie ahead.
Meanwhile, there is growing concern for the health of Admiral Avenger.
One of the crueler versions has come about in a betting pool for how soon
the Admiral will look like Admiral Picard. The bets odds seem to be on a time
period of less than three months.
Kabeta has served well thus far as a bridge officer and I hope that
further bridge experience will shake her nerves a little and bring refresh
her memory on alert tactics."
---------------
Date: Wed, 4 Jul 90 09:45:22 -0600
From: zecca@tramp (Michael Piller Wanna-Be)
Subject: ST:TSG episode (LONG)
Admiral Avenger stands alone in a dark corridor deep within Star Fleet
Headquarters. His uniform torn, he looks around wildly, wondering which
direction is the safest to take.
Prof. Love (echoing): HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!
Avenger takes a right and jogs as best as he can down the deserted hallway,
avoiding torn apart air conditioning units and old oscilloscopes. He reaches
toward his belt to check the power on his phaser, only to discover a fencing
foil strapped to his waist.
Avenger: What the hell? (draws out the foil)
Prof. Love (disembodied): You can't get away from me, no matter how hard
you try. You're mine. HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!HA!
Avenger makes a left at the next turn and ends up in a tundra region, wind
blowing all around him. The bitter cold and the blowing snow quickly get
to him and force him off his feet.
Kelvin voice: We will destroy you and your species, Admiral. We will
take your worlds, shut down your suns, and take them all for our own.
You will assist us or you will die.
Avenger squeezes his eyes shut and huddles closely to himself to fight the
cold. Suddenly, the cold is gone and is replaced by mechanical hands forcing
him to his feet.
Borg: Cold is irrelevant. Emotion is irrelevant. You will give us Star
Fleet and the Federation.
Avenger: Go to hell!!! (raises foil and aims toward a nearby Borg)
* * * * *
"The Root of the Problem"
(Part 1 of 2)
Guest stars
William Love
Ed Begley, Jr. as Commander Bloocheez
Michael Gough as Dr. Frood
Directed by Jez the Wonder Kitty
* * * * *
Admiral T'Lilith opens her eyes and looks around in the darkness.
T'Lilith: Zen, time please.
Zen: It is 0317.54 hours ship's time.
T'Lilith: Location of Admiral Avenger?
Zen: Admiral Avenger is in his office on Deck 3.
T'Lilith: ghuy'cha (pulls herself sleepily out of bed)
Zen: Please rephrase your request.
T'Lilith: Never mind, Zen. (pulls on her Vulcan meditation robe and runs
her fingers quickly through her hair before leaving the room)
T'Lilith staggers slowly down the corridor as the effects of sleepiness
continue to affect her. She reaches the turbolift, which obediently opens
for her. She steps in, finding Captain Crouton sipping at a root beer.
T'Lilith: Good morning, Captain.
Crouton (looking up, surprised): I hadn't expected to see you right now.
Your fiance, but not you. Why aren't you in bed?
T'Lilith: I could ask you the same thing.
Crouton: Well, I'm taking the night shift and giving Kabeta--
T'Lilith: That's not my point. (pause) Have you noticed anything . . .
wrong . . . with him lately?
Crouton: Well, he has been staying up awful late, even for him.
T'Lilith: Yes. And there's more. I don't know what to do.
Crouton: Has he talked to Counselor Neon?
T'Lilith: I don't think it's doing him any good. Which reminds me -- root
beer doesn't do much good for you either. How many is that today?
The turbolift stops and the doors open to Deck 3. T'Lilith steps out.
Crouton: Three, why?
T'Lilith: Maybe YOU need to talk to Counselor Neon.
Turbolift doors close on Crouton as he puzzles this.
* * * * *
The door to Admiral Avenger's office chimes. He ignores it, returns his
attention to a recent Cubs-Slime Devils game from Wrigley's Pleasure Planet,
the broadcast for which came in with the lastest mail pod. He gulps down
a glass of root beer and orders another from the food synthesizer.
The door chimes again. He still does not answer. Someone pounds on the door.
Still no answer.
T'Lilith: LET ME IN!!!!!!!!!!
Avenger presses a button on his desk which releases the door lock. T'Lilith
marches in and walks up to him. He continues to stare mindlessly at the
baseball game, drinking root beer.
T'Lilith (gently): What's wrong?
He remains silent. He drinks more root beer. T'Lilith quietly shuts off
the game and removes the glass from his hands. He continues to stare mind-
lessly off into space.
T'Lilith: Will you please talk to me?
Avenger: I..I had the dream again.
T'Lilith: So you're going to stay up alone again? Why didn't you wake me?
Avenger: I...I... (a tear begins to drip down his face)
T'Lilith (holding him): It's okay...it's okay...
* * * * *
"Captain's Log, Stardate 100298.3, Commander Kabeta reporting:
We have diverted from our continuing exploration of this sector to
rendevous with the _USS Chivalier_ at Captain Crouton's order. We will
be transferring Admiral Avenger to the _Chivalier_ shortly, though the reason
is still a mystery to myself and most of the crew.
Personal Note: I am becoming more comfortable with the command chair."
Chuang: Chivalier is entering our sector and dropping out of warp. No
Lucky Charms to be seen anywhere nearby.
Ghiasi: None at all. Nope. Nope. Nope.
Himle (whispering): Oh, shut up, will you?
Chuang tosses a ball of fluff at Himle.
Kabeta: Thank you, Mr. Chuang. Now would you two behave yourselves?
Gretzky: Chivalier is hailing us.
Kabeta: On screen. (waits for visual) Greetings, Captain Chow.
Chow: Hello, Commander. Too bad the Red Sox are doing so poorly this year.
(smiling) Isn't it just TOO BAD the Cubs are leading the division?
Kabeta (frowning): Uh, yeah... Listen, Admiral Avenger is almost ready to
transfer to your ship.
Chow: Okay. We'll be waiting.
* * * * *
In Croutonizer Room 2, Taubman makes some last minute checks on the equipment
when both Admirals enter. Dr. Flieder picks up her medical bag and moves
forward to join the Admirals.
Avenger: Long time, no see, Doctor.
Flieder: Well, I've been busy...
T'Lilith: I'm sorry I can't go with you. The chance to study the genetic
structure of the Xygolorts of Pentax VII is--
Avenger: I know. And I want the best person for the job to be there.
(kisses her on her bumpy forehead) Don't miss me too much. I'll be
back soon.
T'Lilith: Don't try to cover it up. Good luck...(hug him tightly)...boH'wI.
Admiral Avenger and Dr. Flieder step up to the Croutonizer platform.
Flieder: Dr. Frood is supposed to be one of the best depression/job-
related stress specialists aboard any Star Fleet vessel. You're lucky
he was assigned to the _Chivalier_.
Avenger: Whatever.
Flieder: He'll take care of you just fine.
* * * * *
Captain Crouton enters Ten Forward and wanders up to the bar.
Crouton: One large root beer, if you please.
Ensign Salaman stands up from behind the bar and starts pouring a root beer.
Crouton: I expected Mordred...why are you serving as bartender, Ensign?
Salaman: Mordred needed some time off. All the breaking glass...you know.
(hands Crouton his root beer) Jez offered him a Holodeck adventure beyond
hid wildest dreams, to make up for all the broken glasses he's caused.
Crouton (sipping the root beer): Quite noble of our Black Knight.
Salaman: I'll be glad to get back to my Missionary position though.
Highlander giggles from a nearby table.
Salaman: I'm not much of a bartender.
* * * * *
Missy is still crawling around in air conditioning ducts, having done so
through 70% of the ship so far.
Midzor: Ensign Savan, will you hand me that left-handed spanner?
Savan has apparently been dismissed, however, and it is instead Lt.
McDonagh who hands Missy, not a left-handed spanner, but a 60 watt light
bulb.
Midzor: I asked for a spanner, not a smart-ass.
McDonagh sticks his head into the duct.
McDonagh: One smart-ass reporting and ready for duty, Sir Missy Your Worship.
Midzor (frowning): Oh, you must be the new one from Starbase Harvard that
_Chivalier_ was supposed to be transferring over. Welcome to Engineering.
McDonagh: Where the engines run smoothly, the shields always work, and
the lights are always out.
Midzor: That is a reputation I do not deserve.
McDonagh: Not from what I hear. (wanders off)
Midzor: What about my spanner??!?!?!?
* * * * *
In Dr. Frood's office aboard the _Chivalier_:
Frood: Well, Admiral, can you describe exactly what IS bothering you.
Avenger: I...I... (he seems to drift off...)
Our image of the office changes to that of the bridge of the _C Hag_.
Avenger: I won't tell you anything, Bloocheez.
Bloocheez: Come, come, Admiral. How are we going to make any progress if
you won't talk to me.
Avenger: That information is classified by Star Fleet!
Bloocheez: Really, Admiral. I didn't think we were talking about classified
areas -- just you.
Avenger: Well...I... (seems to drift off again)
Image changes to the Junior Lab on DPG-214.
Avenger: Forget it, Love. You're not getting any more out of me.
Prof. Love: I only wanted you to describe your problem to me.
Avenger: Look, if a 50 page writeup isn't enough, I don't know what you want!
Prof. Love: Take it easy. Take it easy.
Avenger: I'm not going to take it easy! I'm sick and tired of taking it easy!
(Avenger stands up and slams his fists on the desk) I will not be pushed,
filed, stamped, briefed, debriefed, or numbered. My life is my own!
Avenger turns to leave. The doors open and Dr. Flieder rushes toward him
with a Colt .45.
Avenger: Wait! What are you doing?!?
* * * * *
Admiral T'Lilith stands quietly on the observation deck, watching the
warp-streaked stars go by. Crouton enters.
Crouton: Admiral T'Lilith. Pardon my intrusion.
T'Lilith (surprised): Oh, you're not intruding. I was just thinking.
Crouton: You miss him. You're worried about him.
T'Lilith: Yes. (pause) You know, one of his favorite activities used to
be sitting out under the stars like this for hours on end. I'm beginning
to see why. It's very peaceful.
Crouton: He'll be all right. He's getting the best of care.
T'Lilith (smiling): Yes, but I still worry. (pause) By the way, how are
YOU doing?
Crouton: Well...I...
T'Lilith: Don't do that to yourself, Chris. Go talk to Neon. Now.
Crouton: Is that an order?
T'Lilith: I could make it one. But then it wouldn't feel as good.
* * * * *
Chow enters Sick Bay, where he finds Avenger strapped down to a table with
strange instruments strapped to his forehead and Doctors Flieder and Frood
standing over him.
Chow: What happened?
Frood: He entered a very delusioned state, as if his dreams were coming
to life.
Flieder: And then he began to get violent. I had to sedate him.
Chow: What are you doing to him now?
Flieder: For one thing, I'm trying to figure out why I had to sedate him
four times to knock him down.
Chow: Four? What could cause that?
Frood: A variety of things. We think it's the part of the delusion causing
his insomnia. I'm running some tests on his brainwave patterns now.
Chow: Keep me informed. I'll be in Holodeck 3.
* * * * *
Zen: < RED ALERT > < RED ALERT > Damn those Ranchers! < RED ALERT >
Gretzky: _C Hag_ coming in at Maximum Warp!
Kabeta: Battle stations! Captain to the bridge!
Himle: I still say we feed Bloocheez to the Lucky Charms.
Ghiasi: We're being hailed!
Kabeta: On screen, please.
A bleary-eyed Commander Bloocheez appears on the screen, a root beer sitting
next to his blue-speckled right hand.
Bloocheez: Give me Admiral Avenger now or I shall destroy your vessel!
Kabeta: Commander, we will do no such thing. You are violating--
Bloocheez: You will not interfere with my plans, Captain Crouton. Give
him to me now or I shall take him myself!
Kabeta (aside): He thinks _I'm_ Captain Crouton? I think he's suffering
from sort of a terrible delusion.
Ghiasi: What do we do?
Gretzky: Hit him before he hits us.
Kabeta: Not so good an idea. Let's wait for the Captain.
Bloocheez gulps down some root beer.
Bloocheez: I give you 20 seconds to comply with my orders. Otherwise, I
shall rip your vessel to shreds.
Kabeta: Commander, if you would just--
Bloocheez: 15 seconds.
Ghiasi: Why is HE drinking root beer? Something is wrong here.
Bloocheez: 10 seconds.
Captain Crouton enters the bridge, Counselor Neon following closely behind.
Crouton: What is going on here?
Bloocheez: 6 seconds.
Kabeta: He wants Admiral Avenger and he's threating to blow us up if we
don't hand him over.
Bloocheez: 5..4..3..
Crouton: Gretzky, load everything.
Bloocheez: 2..1..
---------------
Date: Mon, 9 Jul 90 00:19:27 -0600
From: zecca@tramp (Michael Piller Wanna-Be)
Subject: ST:TSG (*** LONG ***)
Crouton: What is going on here?
Bloocheez: 6 seconds.
Kabeta: He wants Admiral Avenger and he's threatening to blow us up if we
don't hand him over.
Bloocheez: 5..4..3..
Crouton: Gretzky, load everything.
Bloocheez: 2..1..
Suddenly, two Ranchers obscure the picture as they sedate an irate Bloocheez.
Crouton: Hold your fire.
Leroy: Captain Crouton, I am sorry about this situation. Commander Bloocheez
has been acting very...strange lately.
Crouton: When did he start drinking root beer?
Doc: A few days ago, Captain. He's begun to have fits of irrationality and
violence. He's also been complaining of some very strange dreams.
Crouton: I hate to admit, but Admiral Avenger has been suffering from the
same affliction. Do you think this could be related to the Kelvin incident?
Leroy: Not sure, Captain. Perhaps this deserves further collaboration?
* * * * *
"A Cold Day in Hell"
Guest stars
Ed Begley, Jr. as Commander Bloocheez
Michael Gough as Dr. Frood
Special Guest Star
Sean Connery
Directed by Diana Muldaur
* * * * *
[ The USS Chivalier glides quietly by as we hear Captain Chow's voiceover. ]
"Captain's Log, Stardate 100304.3:
Admiral Avenger's condition continues to deteriorate. Dr. Frood now
has ten minute "sane" intervals before he becomes violent again. Sedation
and medical restraints seem to be about all we can do for him at the moment.
Dr. Flieder doesn't believe we have much hope other than sending him back to
the galaxy and the Tantalus colony.
Personal note: I am worried about my sick friend."
Chow: Status report.
Harry: The Cubs are in first place by 7 games! Holy cow!
Larkin: We have GOT to do something about that computer.
Chow: Hey, I kinda like it.
Flieder (ic): Security alert. Admiral Avenger is on the loose and extremely
violent.
Chow: Dr. Flieder, are you all right?
Flieder (ic): I'm okay, but Dr. Frood will need some dental work and some
minor reconstructive surgery. The Admiral wielded a supply cart like an
aluminum baseball bat.
Chow: Janson, make sure there's an extra security team assigned to both
bridges. Then get down there and handle this situation.
Janson: Yes, sir. (runs some quick orders through his panel and leaves)
Chow: Get me the _Croutonprize_.
* * * * *
Kabeta: So what do you think is going on?
Crouton (sipping his root beer thoughtfully): Well...
Gretzky: Incoming message from the _Chiavlier_, Captain.
Crouton (setting down his root beer): On screen, if you please.
Chow (ss): Captain Crouton, we have a problem here. The Admiral's getting
worse and now he's broken out of Sickbay. My security people haven't found
him yet.
Kabeta: And Dr. Flieder?
Flieder (ss, stepping into view): Right here, Commander. He's in bad shape.
I don't think we can do anything more for him.
Crouton: We have bad news as well. Just a few minutes ago, Commander
Bloocheez was ready to blow us to bits. Seems he's suffering the same
affliction.
Chow: Do you think...
[ TCG Archives | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | TSG | TPG | Misc | Begin | End ] |
||||