STAR TREK: THE CROUTON GENERATION

		Technology

Impulse Drive		Sub-light drive for intra-system movement.
Warp Drive		23rd century drive.  Speed = (Warp Factor^3) c
Warped Drive		Captain Boom-Boom's libido
Trans-Warp Drive	Failed experimental 23rd century drive.
Ultra Warp Drive	24th century drive.  Speed = (Ultra-Factor^5) c
Sixth Warp Drive	Late 24th century drive.  The standard on most Star
			Fleet vessels.  Speed = (Six-Factor^6) c
Jolt-Warp Drive		Experimental new drive installed on the Croutonprize
			for the summer.  Speed = (Jolt-Factor^8) c
			Makes travel within the Local Group feasible.
No-Doz Warp Drive	A 10th power drive that is still in the theoretical
			stages.
Phasers			Still a Star Fleet standard, for both ship and hand,
			but much more powerful than antique phasers.
Crouton Torpedoes	The "power punch" of a Federation starship
The Croutonizer		A faster, more efficient, longer-range version of
			the old-style transporters.  Breaks your body up into
			its individual Croutons, breaks them down, then beams
			you to where you're going, where it re-Croutonizes you.

		Ships

NCC-1741-C	USS Croutonprize	Captain:  Chris Crouton
	_Salad_-class flagship
	Crew:  2031 (412 this summer)	Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.9
Shuttlecraft:
01	Fork		06 	Pepto Bismol	11	Northwest Airlines
02	Spoon		07 	Maalox		12	Blueshift
03	Knife		08	Metamucil
04	Ladle		09	Spork
05	Gravy		10	Crash

NCC-75703	USS Chivalier		Captain:  "Roy" CHow
	_Salad_-class starship
	Crew:  2024			Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.9
Shuttlecraft:
01	Harry Caray	06	Robert Redford
02	Ryne Sandberg	07	Kevin Costner
03	Wombat		08	Topjob
04	Chicago	
05	La Jolla

NCC-1823-B	USS Ryne Sandberg	Captain: "Roy" Chow
	_James T. Kirk_-class starship
	Crew:  1301		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.6
Shuttlecraft:
01	Mark Grace	05	Shawon Dunston
02	Greg Maddux	06	Mitch Williams
03	Harry Caray	07	Andre Dawson
04	Steve Stone	08	Mike Bielecki
Note:  The _Sandberg_ and all her crew, except Captain Chow, were lost in
  battle with the HVR _C Hag_ circa Stardate 100130.

NCC-2947	USS Comatose		Captain: "Boom-Boom" Loesch
	_Cavalier_-class starship
	Crew:  909		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.7
Shuttlecraft:
01	The Millenium Sweatsock		03  Houston Chronicle
02	Juggernaut			04  alt.sex.bondage

NCC-2500-MP	USS Rampage	Admiral Avenger's personal transport
	_Fleming_-class personnel courier
	Crew: 1-12		Max. Warp:  Jolt-Factor 10.5

NCC-2988	USS Green Archer	Captain: Mike Atkinson
	_Cavalier_-class starship
	Crew:  1311		Max. Warp: Six-Factor 9.9

HVR _C Hag_	Captain:  Commander Bloocheez
	Ki-torit-kah class cruiser
	Crew:  1600?		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.1?
Other known Ki-torit-kah and Ki-toram-buh class:
_C Dragon_, has cloaking device, Commander Taco Salsa
_C Monster_, Commander Alf Fraidough

_C Shell_	Captain:  Commander Oughtree
	Ki-toram-buh class cruiser
	Crew:  1200?		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 9.1?
Other known Ki-toram-buh class:
	_C Weed_, _C Dee_

_C Throo_	Captain:  Commander Q. Kumbir
	Aye-karum-bah class cruiser
	Crew:  980?		Max. Warp: Jolt-Factor 8.3?

SS Snagglebarf		Captain: Guglgyg Gaddaghluygh
	Yoyoboqian 3rd Class cruiser
	Crew: 454 Yoyobqians	Max. Warp: Six-Factor 5.7